Hey all, I found out by an accident( my father has asked me to check his email in the past and I was still logged onto his email in an old phone I switched on), so a popup came that the solicitors fees need to be paid for and they are set to purchase a house for 18900,my parents claim my brother will pay for the loan payments, even my father has instructed my mother having to pay 3k for the admin fees for the loan. We have had many arguments in the past over them preferring my brother, quick back story- I moved out to another country at 17, they did already back then more for my brother, he didn't do well in one school he got sent to another, I got put into the school he left I was bullied by the teachers and when I asked to move to my granny in another town my mum said no we don't have money, my parents paid for 8 years of uni for my brother, for his apartment in the uni city, it was privately rented not student accommodation that wasn't good enough, paid for his driving licence, leased a cars for him he never took bus or train, my brother has messed up a few times my parents have had to pay victim off and for the solicitors fees... None of this for me. One thing they have I've rme, when I was in teens and underage my dad's company got into difficulties and to stop the gov taking our family home it got signed to my name as my brother was too old, 4 years ago they suddenly started harassing me to sign the land back to them or disown me, I was like if u are ready to disown me why would I give you the land back what's stopping you disowning me when I sign it back, result was they said don't ever contact us again if you are lucky you get a funeral invite one day.. Over the time I made contact to check on them and eventually we were back on speaking terms but I have and won't forget this, I have never caused them anything,even 2 days ago whe. I got upset at them taking 189k loan out for my brother my mum claimed I stole her naked of her jewellery, I was 17 when I left home and took a ring that was too small for my mum and a necklace that reminded me of her and a t shirt of my dad's, I didn't know if I was ever going to see them and all I took was rucksack with my things beside this, no cash from their wallets or anything else of theirs. It took them 8 years to visit me and that too got thrown at me, how I should have paid for their flights even I was not working and also had a baby. They babysit my brothers childreb every week, take them to doctors, they are sometimes at my parents place 7 days in row, go home for one then back again etc. The loan, my brother and his wife work, 2 kids, business that does well, new apartment bought into 8 years ago, for some reason they have asked my parents to take a loan out for a new build for them, my situation, my husband works full time I'm stay at home mum and have 4 little kids, I would like to start to build an extension but we are waiting until our car loan ends in 2 years,I have never even thought to ask my parents to take a loan out for me, especially nearly 200k when they have no savings and they are not the best in looking after their health.
I am really disappointed my parents didn't even involve me in their plan, yes it's their money but they know how I feel about the past, they tell me to get over it or I make it up but the facts are, they have held my brothers hand through his life, paid for him to set up his business, get a car, driving licence, go to uni which he failed after 8 years etc. None of this for me, the house loan is a joke on the paper my brother is a perfect candidate for a mortgage what is he up to. Anyways, am I being unreasonable, my mum tells me to get some help, as an insult and my father said its none of my business. My father can say that yes but he has made the gap between me and my brother even bigger. (Oh my brother 4 years ago when I refused to sign over the land, also told me that no one in this world cares about me, I should go crawl back under a rock, he dosent care where I am or what do I do and poked a few jokes over my disabled daughter and told me my husband will divorce me, that my husband controls me etc-could not be more wrong anyone who knows us laughs how my husband is "under my slipper", he dosent mind :), what he said about my child was unforgivable and uncalled for, still, he has not even attempted to say sorry for 4 years, my parents said he is too busy working and stressed and for me to let it go.
I sent both my parents a message in a neutral tone and not in a stroppy way, to buy me out of half of the land they want back, so they can pass it on and not worry I steal my brothers part, the land is originally from my dad's grandparents. They live in a house on that land, get rental from the fields but use it as if I get something out of it, even the reason for the loan they said its a house for your brother as he got nothing from us, you have a house in.. - I'm like hold on, my brother gets a house, you live for free in a house get income from the fields, I'm expected to share the land one day but my brother keeps his house, oh and they have put land from my other grandma on my brothers name.
Sorry for the messy wall of text, if anyone made any sense out of it.. Am I wrong to feel wronged and upset? I have never asked them for anything, they never offered things that my brother got, I just at the time listened my mum cry because to support my brother to pay for his car, apartment and uni fees they went short on money, even I was unemployed my husband loaned them, latest one was perhaps 6 months ago to help them carry over to payday.