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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was a bit unkind?

61 replies

LemonSherbetFancies · 03/03/2021 22:34

Friend has just moved into a gated road. I walked round there earlier to drop something off to her house. The gate was locked and I could not work out how to get in. I pressed the number of her apartment but nothing happened. So I called her and she came out to do it and seemed a bit annoyed.
As I went to go home, I couldn't get back out again and this time my friend rolled her eyes and said she didn't know why it was so hard for me to do. I said I was not used to gates like this and she didn't say anything, just said a curt farewell and went home.
She left me feeling really stupid. Can't help but think it was unkind.

OP posts:
FenceSplinters · 03/03/2021 22:36

How are you meant to get the gates open? I wouldn’t know.

Borntohula · 03/03/2021 22:38

Yeah, who makes a friend feel stupid over a gate?

Borntohula · 03/03/2021 22:38

@FenceSplinters

How are you meant to get the gates open? I wouldn’t know.
Me neither!
sweetnessnfight · 03/03/2021 22:40

She showed a complete lack of respect to you. She obviously thinks she's moved up in the world in her gated enclave, suffering paupers (relative to her) trying to figure out the gate mechanism is the height of first world problems. Her heart is lacking, don't waste another second thinking about her.

Original poster
LemonSherbetFancies · 03/03/2021 22:40

I never did find out what I was meant to do. Didn't dare ask as she made me seem like I had something wrong with me. Confused

OP posts:
BackforGood · 03/03/2021 22:41

She's going to end up with very high blood pressure then, if she is annoyed at having to let a friend in that has brought her something.
Isn't that the whole point of it being gated - that nobody can walk up to the houses without one of the householders letting them in ?

Didn't she think of that before moving there ?

SnarkyBag · 03/03/2021 22:41

She’s an arse. I visit a lot of schools and all of them having some Fort Knox style gate that never seems to open when I try! Even getting out of main doors is a struggle I seem to always turn off the hallway lights in one school instead of the door release Blush
Anyway my point being is why would you know how to open it?!

Original poster
LemonSherbetFancies · 03/03/2021 22:42

I am guessing I was meant to put in her door number and she had to buzz me through but I tried that and nothing happened.
I had trouble with my sisters flat the other month so must just me that's a bit dim. Sad

OP posts:
Saz12 · 03/03/2021 22:50

Or it could be that the gate isn’t working properly, and shesbcross about it?

Id not have a clue how to open the gate either (surely she has to buzz you in and out- it’s not much of a security system otherwise!).

BackforGood · 03/03/2021 22:57

I agree with Saz12 - it wouldn't be much of a security system if anyone could just guess how to get in on their first visit.

Wearywithteens · 03/03/2021 23:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

DoubleTweenQueen · 03/03/2021 23:13

You're not dim! It's just familiarity, and you won't be familiar with 'the system' because you don't live there.
You were doing a kind thing, and your friend was either a bit stressed with moving and gates and all - wonder how many times she's had to go out to sort? :)(Hope she keeps a brolly by her door) OR she's just not very nice.

Either way, I don't think it's a reflection on you

sst1234 · 03/03/2021 23:34

You should have jovially pointed out how old the technology is and how there’s so much better out there in terms it gated developments.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 03/03/2021 23:44

Next time she wants something, I’d say her gates are too tricky and you can’t help.

OrigamiOwl · 03/03/2021 23:48

Didn't sound overly nice of your friends. But did you arrange the visit before hand?

I've recently moved and someone decided to pop over for a surprise visit... Ignoring the fact I work nights, so her visit was like me turning up at her house at 3am and expecting conversation with her. She probably thought I was rude, but in truth I was half asleep having just been woken up.

littlepattilou · 03/03/2021 23:59

YANBU. You have to be a bit of an obnoxious oik to live in a gated community anyway.

Ghost her, and move on.

Ijustknowitstimetogo · 04/03/2021 00:05

Ooh she’s changed.

incandescentglow · 04/03/2021 00:11

was it an uninvited visit? perhaps she wasn't expecting you and had to stop what she was doing to let you in? even so, she was still rude

VinylDetective · 04/03/2021 00:15

@sweetnessnfight

She showed a complete lack of respect to you. She obviously thinks she's moved up in the world in her gated enclave, suffering paupers (relative to her) trying to figure out the gate mechanism is the height of first world problems. Her heart is lacking, don't waste another second thinking about her.
Wow!
Shrivelled · 04/03/2021 00:17

Maybe she’s cross with herself for moving somewhere with silly gates.

JohnWatersMoustache · 04/03/2021 00:17

I am guessing I was meant to put in her door number and she had to buzz me through but I tried that and nothing happened

It sounds more like she doesn’t know how to work the gate as that is generally how they operate. They’d be a bit pointless if anyone could open them, and surely shouldn’t need the homeowner to physically come out and do it.

Fiona2020 · 04/03/2021 00:18

So? I’d have said “‘mate how’d the hell I open this gate”?! But of banter?! I can’t even work out why you’re offended!

Ariela · 04/03/2021 00:25

In a former life I was a delivery person. With all security locks/buzzers the trick is press them ALL and some idiot lets you in. If it's intercom, they all go Hello to each other so it's easy to chip in 'Got a delivery for you' and they all buzz you in.

Quite often they have a service button or concierge on there, this usually opens it anyway

thosetalesofunexpected · 04/03/2021 00:30

@LemonSherbetFancies

She your friend was either stressed/frazzled tired with moving into a new property and being caught on the hop,(unexpected vist)

Or
She thinks she has moved up clearly in the world now and has not got much time for people who she thinks are not as ambitious or beneath her she is a arrogant snob.

I would fade her /or ditch her out of your life.

Focus on making making /or being with better people friends than her.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 04/03/2021 00:30

I would just like the opportunity to call this fallout #gategate

Oh and your mate sounds like a prick.