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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I don't want to hear about cruise ship holidays.

403 replies

CruisingBob · 03/03/2021 11:13

My parents worked very hard, retired and like to go away on cruise ships.

For the last 15 years they have probably gone every nine months for at least a fortnight, often six weeks even did the epic round the world.

Some have been a bit miserable with norovirus and other flu type bugs. The round the world one lost it's novelty. On the whole they have really enjoyed them, the social side, the whistle stop tours, the food.

We are happy for them, their money, they worked hard, their choices.

But AIBU I don't want to hear any more about them, it's just making me angry.
I have two teens sharing a bedroom, we are working hard, our modest holiday plans were torn apart last year. I just want my kids back in school and free to see their friends.

Everytime I speak to my parents, cruises get mentioned. They've missed two during covid. First it was "wasn't it awful Australia refusing entry to the cruise ship" then worried about deposits, terms and conditions and refunds, then new dates being released, it just goes on and on.

I've said " look for a new type of holiday, you've had a good run, something different"

Their vaccination has just given them fresh fuel along with the relentless marketing from the cruise companies.

AIBU to just not want to hear anymore about bloody cruises?

OP posts:
CruisingBob · 03/03/2021 15:57

@doubletweenqueen if @daphneduM doesn't want me then may be you'd consider me..... I've now got the Annie soundtrack stuck in my head.

It's all about manners and being sensitive along with not punching down at those in a different time and place.

I don't begrudge my parents joy, I just don't share the need to absorb a lot of information about something I'll never experience.

For those with caring responsibilities, life is always hard, would you rather talk to me about how much I've enjoyed standing on my doorstep looking at the park opposite in this lovely weather, something you could hopefully relate to. Or my mum could explain how much happier she was with an outside cabin and a balcony and show you a ship lay out plan for the new generation of cruise liners.

For those feeling a duty phonecall coming on, tonight it's a party political broadcast at 6:55 on BBC1 followed by the One Show, get your timing right!

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/03/2021 15:58

If I contracted Norovirus on a cruise I think I might buy another cabin

You wouldn't need to Tatiana; if that happens they insist you stay in the cabin for 48 hours, put a ruddy great red cross on the door and have a steward walk up and down the corridor ringing a bell and shouting "Unclean!! Unclean!!" Grin

PS: The first bit is true, but not the second and third ...

MrsKingfisher · 03/03/2021 16:09

It sounds typical of those who choose cruising only. They become so well known in cruising circles, love the captains cocktails, the sail away, telling everyone it's their 56th cruise on THIS particular ship blah blah blah.

It's annoying but try and gloss over it, it's a big deal to the hardcore cruisers!

Cornishclio · 03/03/2021 16:13

YANBU. We are the same generation as your parents and have done a number of cruises but don't go on and on about them to our adult children as it is boring to hear about other peoples holidays especially if the person you are talking to has their own problems. I have a friend who goes on about outfits and cruise layouts and even I a seasoned cruiser think it is boring.

It is a shame they don't offer to help you out financially if they are in a position to do so but I know some families don't do that. Personally we have a big trip booked for September but I do not think we will go on that (not a cruise but is international) but we have also booked a centre parcs break for the whole family which has been rearranged from last year. Not mentioned either as we not 100% whether they will go ahead and would rather wait and see. If they are daft enough to book something when we do not know how things will look in 6 months they deserve to wait for refunds etc. As you say there are other things they can do in the UK. I have to say it is difficult to make conversation in these days as nothing is happening. I have my mum moaning that she needs a break as she is fed up of cooking and yes I feel like saying, tell me about it! Hmm. It is annoying for all of us.

Anne1958 · 03/03/2021 16:16

my idea of a holiday is being in the middle of nowhere in a campervan or maybe a villa in the south of France

I love all sorts of holidays and I would say the best holiday for me is putting our vehicles onto car transporters to be driven 1000kms to the south of the country I live in. We all then fly down and spend 10 days traveling back up the coast wild camping on isolated beaches along the way. We’re entirely self sufficient and we supplement the food we take with us with what we can catch when fishing.

We’ve also been camping in France. One of those places with caravan type things that you just move into. My dad met us all there once we settled in and he arrived looking like the man from Delmonte, he even had a hat on, and when we asked why he was all dressed up he said I thought I was coming to a Chateau 🙈😂.

We’ve not been back to France for a few years now because we’re quite happy to stick to Scotland. Usually a farmhouse and I tell my family I have it for ex amount of weeks and anyone who wants to come can. They usually all come and I love it.

I do also like going round trains in Europe and just getting off where I fancy and it’s this time last year that I got Covid probably on a train journey from Italy to Switzerland.

CruisingBob · 03/03/2021 16:17

@theleafandnotthetree

"I think one of the things clear from this thread is that for some - though I hope a minority of - retirees, they literally are. A few people mentioned how post-Covid, their parents have chosen to go on holidays first before coming to see their children and grand-children that they haven't seen in a year or more. I would find that very hurtful I must say."

Welcome to my world! So we briefly saw my parents during the summer after keeping isolated for two weeks and again in October. Really minimized the risk of us passing anything on.

Turns out they'd seen their cruise ship friends, had them in the house for multiple meals, out to the pub. The friends had travelled from a high risk area and one of them had been commuting into town on four buses a day as a key worker.

What hurts most is my parents talked about these friends, everything they said, did, ordered. My parents haven't asked about my child's GCSEs , sixth form options, how our endless cycle of DIY is going, couldnt be arsed to watch a tv thing my company was featured in...... The tv thing was answered by saying "we told cruise ship friends about it but they don't watch C4"

It does sound relentless, the holiday talk is slightly softened by the weather, supermarket delivery options and the tradesman they have employed for gutters, flat roof, painting, etc

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/03/2021 16:47

Flying may be better for the environment compared to cruising - but it IS still damaging

Actually it's even worse than that when you consider - gasp - fly cruises. Since these involve both a ship and a flight to the port I reckon those who take them are going straight to hell

I wonder, though, if the popular loathing of cruisers doesn't hark back to the days when only the very rich could afford to do it; certainly it would explain the glee over the odd Noro outbreak (which actually happen in lots of closed areas) and the fnarr-fnarring at all those rich b*stards who got their come-uppance

Nothing new there though ...

theleafandnotthetree · 03/03/2021 16:51

[quote CruisingBob]**@doubletweenqueen* if @daphneduM* doesn't want me then may be you'd consider me..... I've now got the Annie soundtrack stuck in my head.

It's all about manners and being sensitive along with not punching down at those in a different time and place.

I don't begrudge my parents joy, I just don't share the need to absorb a lot of information about something I'll never experience.

For those with caring responsibilities, life is always hard, would you rather talk to me about how much I've enjoyed standing on my doorstep looking at the park opposite in this lovely weather, something you could hopefully relate to. Or my mum could explain how much happier she was with an outside cabin and a balcony and show you a ship lay out plan for the new generation of cruise liners.

For those feeling a duty phonecall coming on, tonight it's a party political broadcast at 6:55 on BBC1 followed by the One Show, get your timing right![/quote]
For what it's worth OP, I think you sound lovely and balanced and funny and not remotely jealous or bitter, it is literally beyond me how anyone could think you either of those. Unless perhaps they think your parents way is an appropriate way of relating to people who you are supposed to love - tone-deaf, boastful, boring and apparently heedless of what is going on your lives. I think your parents don't deserve you! Now @DaphneduM would be a much better match Grin

kylie122 · 03/03/2021 16:57

You sound jealous they were probably struggling aswell at your age let them talk about the cruises they might not like to hear things you say

rawalpindithelabrador · 03/03/2021 16:59

Fuck the environment. I love cruising and flying and plan to do it as much as possible. If you're really in thrall to the bloody environment than why have kids, that's about the worst thing you can do for the environment.

theleafandnotthetree · 03/03/2021 17:01

@kylie122

You sound jealous they were probably struggling aswell at your age let them talk about the cruises they might not like to hear things you say
Talk about a false equivalance, so droning on endlessly about cruising is exactly the same as talking about things that actually matter in life - like work, politics, family life, the community etc. and deserves to have as much weight and consideration attached to it. And the OP doesn't sound remotely jealous, she sounds fed up and hurt at their insensitivity. I think she's shown great restraint, I'd have eat the head off them at this stage.
Daisyhoney · 03/03/2021 17:01

Puzzledandpissedoff I totally agree about fly cruises - totally the spawn of Satan!
We're strictly in and out of Southampton people when we cruise ( which isn't that often tbh - maybe once every couple of years ).
We spend the rest of our hols in the UK so also do our bit for British tourism.

rawalpindithelabrador · 03/03/2021 17:01

My mother and sister are a bit like this, if it's not their idea of a good holiday or way to live, then it's shit to them. I don't have a very close relationship with either of them, but it doesn't make me better than they are.

theleafandnotthetree · 03/03/2021 17:03

@rawalpindithelabrador

Fuck the environment. I love cruising and flying and plan to do it as much as possible. If you're really in thrall to the bloody environment than why have kids, that's about the worst thing you can do for the environment.
You sound a delight
rawalpindithelabrador · 03/03/2021 17:07

You sound a delight

God, yes! Love a good time, don't worry about busom hoiking bitter virtue signallers engaged in a misery sweepstakes. There's no prize for asceticism and it's boring AF. Can't wait to go cruising again! We don't fly to Southampton or any port, though, because then the luggage you bring back is limited and we love to shop and spend money on cruises. Better to hire a car so you can stuff it to the gunners with luggage and stuff.

Alexandernevermind · 03/03/2021 17:10

@rawalpindithelabrador
Fuck the environment. I love cruising and flying and plan to do it as much as possible. If you're really in thrall to the bloody environment than why have kids, that's about the worst thing you can do for the environment.
Who would even say that in 2021? (Although yes, overpopulation is the main cause of environmental damage)

2bazookas · 03/03/2021 17:13

@Keepyourdistance000

Anyone would think holidays are the most important thing in the world.
You forgot

Make-up and skin treatments
Designer clothes and accessories
Celebrities

    Which pretty much covers the entire range of interests and conversation of all my relatives who live within the M25. I have sat  slowly losing the will  to live through the mindless airhead wittering.
rawalpindithelabrador · 03/03/2021 17:13

[quote Alexandernevermind]**@rawalpindithelabrador
Fuck the environment. I love cruising and flying and plan to do it as much as possible. If you're really in thrall to the bloody environment than why have kids, that's about the worst thing you can do for the environment.
Who would even say that in 2021? (Although yes, overpopulation is the main cause of environmental damage)[/quote]
Plenty of people, after all, the OPs parents and their cruising friends are desperate to get on another ship.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/03/2021 17:20

Just found something brilliant from years ago for all the cruiser haters, written by the aptly named Major Pratt; it's a long read but rewards the effort
Try to control your blood pressure and please bear in mind this is satire ...

"My lady wife and I were on the Ventura transatlantic cruise from Barbados to Southampton. This was booked at the last minute when a suite became available with a huge on board credit. This brought the net cost down to around a hundred guineas a day, about one third of the cost of our Azura cruise last June. My lady wife and I would never travel with P&O except in a suite. This is essential to escape from the riff-raff to be found on their newest vessels. As this cruise was "cheap as chips", we could treat it as a little extra. Just like northerners having a cheap weekend in Blackpool and with a similar sort of clientele I suspect"

"So we went with the lowest possible expectations and I have to say they were fully met. The last time my lady wife and I flew to Barbados was on Concorde. For this budget trip we paid for the upgrade to the premium cabin on a Thomas Cook flight from Gatwick. Well, all I can say is if this was premium I am so glad we weren't stuck in the back of the plane with the poor folk. This was our first time on a charter aircraft. How novel. So many people crammed into such a small space. I cannot imagine why anyone would voluntarily subject themselves to such uncomfortable travelling arrangements more than once. Yet I understand that many working class types use such charter flights, year in and year out for their "package holidays". Even with the demise of Concorde, I do find British Airways Club Class a much more agreeable option. At least we didn't have the nightmare prospect of a return overnight flight hanging over us for the entire cruise"

"My lady wife and I were impressed by the ease of transfer direct from the aircraft to the quayside without customs or immigration formalities. A boneshaker of a bus, complete with eco-friendly "air conditioning" (all windows wide open), transported us to the ship without incident and we were aboard 56 minutes after landing. Not bad. The food on the plane was inedible so we were rather peckish. It was too late for lunch in the dining room so we made our one and only visit to the buffet. We were each handed a tray that had been heated to a temperature at which contact with human skin causes instantaneous blistering. The plates were equally hot and looked like they had been in use for about 30 years in an East End "greasy spoon". No salad was on display. When I queried this I was told that no salad is available during "afternoon tea". Oh well, that explained the chilli con carne and the curry, two afternoon tea essentials. Strangely neither was on offer when we took afternoon tea at The Savoy the day prior to the cruise. Whilst eating we noticed a sudden influx of passengers. It seems someone had spread a rumour that more Rum Babas had been put out. Apparently they don't put them on very often, as they are too popular"

"Our suite was almost identical to the one on Azura last June, but the balcony was larger and ideal for entertaining. Our butler fully complied with our instructions that I should be addressed as "Major" or "Sir" and my lady wife as "My Lady". He played his role well and was suitably reverential at all times. So much so that I actually seriously considered tipping him at the end of the cruise, especially as I intended to use him for a balcony dinner party. However after five days of doing nothing more than delivering miserable, unappetising canapés and lime slices (for my G&T's), I was having second thoughts. Finding guests of appropriate class to invite to dinner was also proving difficult, so we ditched the idea. As the butler had been trying rather hard to endear himself to us it seemed obvious he was angling for a tip. So I took the decision to dispense with his services and dismissed him. Thereafter the cabin boy was instructed to take on a few extra duties"

"In his introductory monologue, our butler had delivered a well-rehearsed script extolling the merits of having breakfast in the White Room. He said that such a wonderful dining experience in a London hotel would cost £80 per head. What nonsense. It would not even be worth that with free flow Dom Perignon. With hindsight I now realise his motive was to discourage us from requesting breakfast to be served by him on our balcony. Anyway we had already decided to have breakfast in the White Room for two reasons. Firstly, to avoid the brouhaha of the buffet. Secondly to avoid the main dining room where there is a serious risk of being foisted with the company of whinging Yorkshire folk wittering endlessly about how "it's nowt like t' good old days" and mind numbing anecdotes like "when we were on t'Canberra you got free ice cream served on t'deck every morning". The main benefits of taking breakfast in the White Room are the calm surroundings, attentive service and food freshly prepared to order"
"For the first half of the cruise the excellent weather allowed us to dine alfresco on the Terrace. The menu is pretty limited. The sausages were poor quality and it would appear they were the same cheap ones served in the main dining room. I decided to substitute the minute steak but would have much preferred a decent quality sausage. Having tried everything on the menu, the only dish that stood out was the toasted bagel with smoked salmon, poached egg and hollandaise sauce with caviar garnish. The smoked salmon was good quality but there was just far too much of it. Who would have thought it possible, too much smoked salmon! It was obvious that the very low prices for suites on this cruise had attracted an element that one would not normally expect to see in the White Room for breakfast. It was quite clear that they had no class but had pushed the boat out to get a taste of how the other half lives. One self-important fusspot lead the waiter a merry dance with detailed instructions on every possible facet of the breakfast preparation including the importance of synchronising the delivery of his hot toast with the main dish. When it arrived he used it to construct a bacon and egg sandwich! Fine dining? I think I know where he would have been more at home and the Marco Pierre White “Bacon and Egg McButty” was probably his next best alternative"

"On day one, we took the precaution of booking the White Room and East for six and four nights respectively. Just as well as the White Room was fully booked about half way through the cruise. This meant dining in Cinnamon only on formal nights when the menus tend to be less unappealing. In fact one real surprise was the Beef Wellington, which was actually rather nice and better than I have had in the Princess Grill on Cunard. The service in Cinnamon was rushed and very impersonal. The automatic gratuities were adjusted accordingly, and by adjusted I mean removed"

"Whoever was responsible for the acquisition of the deckchairs in the covered pool area should be put on a charge. One can only assume that they were extremely cheap because they are not fit for purpose. Time and again unsuspecting passengers were caught out. As they put weight on one end, the back would tip up and the passenger drop helplessly to the floor in a slapstick fashion. It would have been funny if it weren't for the numerous injuries sustained. (Watch out P&O, "where there's blame, there's a claim" and these passengers were the type who knew all their rights.) For those who did manage to manoeuvre themselves onto the deckchairs their reward was a metal bar strategically placed to maximise discomfort on the posterior. Perhaps it was an intentional ploy. No one could remain seated in such discomfort for any great time thus freeing up space more quickly for the waiting throng ready to pounce the moment a chair is vacated"

"As always a big part of our entertainment on such cruises is observing ordinary folk when crowded together in a confined space around the pool. It is such fun to watch their complete lack of deportment and their methods of communication, much of which is done through grunts and ape-like gesturing. This time we set ourselves a task of finding anyone who didn’t have at least one of the following: tattoos, lager, chips or vulgar jewellery. One point for each one spotted. Needless to say, only one hand was needed to tally the result"

"We had the misfortune to witness part of the final “sailaway party” in Tenerife. It was so embarrassing as to be excruciating. Let me paint the scene: two open decks by the pool crammed with passengers; “Agadoo” and “Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot” blasting through the distorting PA system; a group of Redcoat rejects prancing around on stage waving their arms in the air; a mob of scruffy tattooed drunks with a pint of lager in one hand and a Union Flag in the other, and that was just the women; a series of sing along songs, culminating in “Rule Britannia” and “Land of Hope and Glory”, that whips the mindless mass into a kind of xenophobic fervour. This is truly audience participation at it’s worst. Is this what cruising has come to?"

"Comparing Ventura to the Azura, the most noticeable difference was definitely the passenger profile. Now I thought Azura had more than its fair share of "Shameless" types but Ventura had about twice as many. I am talking here about around half of the passengers, more than enough to really lower the tone. Previously this type of passenger was deterred from cruising because of the thought of dressing for dinner. With only four formal nights and a buffet alternative, no one needs to worry about dress codes any more. P&O have done their best to encourage a sort of natural segregation. The plebs flock to The Exchange pub with its tacky décor and the lure of draught lager, sports video screens, a Karaoke system and one-arm bandits. The more discerning passengers gravitate to Metropolis or the Red Bar"

"The actual physical differences between the ships are mainly cosmetic. I did however prefer the glass-covered pool on Ventura to the Sea Screen. Whereas I preferred the Glass House on Azura to Ramblas, but then the Spanish know nothing about decent food. No wonder the dishes are so small - can't imagine anyone managing to eat much of that garlic-laden stodge. The Spanish should stick to what they do well - putting on bullfights, a wonderful sport of which they can be truly proud"

"Now we come to the thorny subject of tipping. I hate being told that certain tips are expected. These people should be paid a fair wage for their work. It's not my problem that they work ten hours a day, seven days a week for months on end to support their impoverished families. Tips of £40 per cruise soon mount up when you do four or five cruises a year. In any case this money is much better spent going towards a massage for my lady wife or a nice bottle of Champagne. Why should we cut back on life’s essentials to line the pockets of these people? It should be reward enough that they have the privilege of serving their betters and the chance to glimpse a lifestyle to which they can never aspire. For our next proper cruise my lady wife and I will probably return to Cunard. It's nice to be able to mix with others of similar class and outlook"

theleafandnotthetree · 03/03/2021 17:22

@rawalpindithelabrador

You sound a delight

God, yes! Love a good time, don't worry about busom hoiking bitter virtue signallers engaged in a misery sweepstakes. There's no prize for asceticism and it's boring AF. Can't wait to go cruising again! We don't fly to Southampton or any port, though, because then the luggage you bring back is limited and we love to shop and spend money on cruises. Better to hire a car so you can stuff it to the gunners with luggage and stuff.

Believe it or not it's possible to have a very fun and fabulous life without glorying in planetary destruction. Actually, the people who buy their way to fun via this kind of tacky spending are usually just boring and shallow and far more delightful in any real sense
CandyLeBonBon · 03/03/2021 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

rawalpindithelabrador · 03/03/2021 17:23

You forgot

Make-up and skin treatments
Designer clothes and accessories
Celebrities

Which pretty much covers the entire range of interests and conversation of all my relatives who live within the M25. I have sat slowly losing the will to live through the mindless airhead wittering.

Why not do them the courtesy of telling them what you really think of them so they can elect to cut you out of their lives for being so judgemental and nasty about them? Then you won't have to bothered with such airheads.

theleafandnotthetree · 03/03/2021 17:24

should be 'far from' delightful

likeamillpond · 03/03/2021 17:25

I understand OP
There s nothing worse than a cruise bore.
It's also quite insensitive of the older generation to keep on about all the fabulous holidays they're going to be going on when a lot of younger people are struggling to make ends meet
I know it's not a popular view but young people Have sacrificed a lot for the older generation. The repercussions will be felt for years to come.
I'm not saying older people shouldn't go on holiday but they can't blame people for feeling little bit resentful.
My son and his girlfriend have both lost their jobs during this pandemic. They might be able to afford a cheapy tent holiday, this year, if that.
There are lots their age in similar situations.

rawalpindithelabrador · 03/03/2021 17:27

Believe it or not it's possible to have a very fun and fabulous life without glorying in planetary destruction. Actually, the people who buy their way to fun via this kind of tacky spending are usually just boring and shallow and far more delightful in any real sense

😂😂😂

Such an opinion! Mine is that earnest, judgemental virtue signallers and miserable asceticists are tedious in the extreme, so bent on demonstrating their moral and intellectual superiority over anyone who's not like them their company is trial rather than a joy.

Thankfully it's a free country.

Can't wait to go cruising again!