To wonder what nasty things have been said to you that have always stuck with you?

[GuessWhosBackBackAgain]

I grew up with very abusive parents and when I was about 12 I was ill with glandular fever and afterwards was still unwell and it was mentioned by the GP that I might have ME (now called Chronic fatigue I believe?). My mum and dad told me that if I did have ME they wouldn't be looking after me and I'd need to go into foster care.

As it turned out, I didn't have ME but then years later my mum said to me that if I ever had an accident and was left injured or ever got a long term illness I'd be on my own!

I'm not NC with them both BTW and have been for many years.

These nasty things have stuck with me, especially now I have my own children whom
I'd do anything for.

Another thing that's stuck with me is at secondary school I was quite badly bullied, and also obviously had a shit home life. After one English lesson where I'd been given a really hard time by a nasty queen bee and her cronies, the teacher called me to one side and told me I was the most unpopular girl she'd ever met and I needed to change! Again her words have stuck with me all my adult life and I can't guarantee I wouldn't give her a mouthful if I ever encountered her as an adult.

There’s another recent thread about this.

@Zebraaa Were you in the OP's English class?

@GuessWhosBackBackAgainSorry you went through all that. Says a lot about your parents and teacher though. I can't imagine saying anything like that to a child. My DM, at 72, is still haunted by things her mother said to her. It makes me so cross. What do your DC say about you? Judge yourself on that. I bet they think your wonderful.

Sorry, you are NC with them?

I will never forget something vile my parents said about me. They claimed I was a liar and never told the truth but I've always been honest. They just didn't want to believe me. They can be shown evidence I'm being honest and will still deny everything I say. They gaslight and say I've told them stuff that vaguely resembles the truth.

I was ill once and they got my illness wrong. Why would I say my kidneys were failing when it was a problem with my lungs? It makes no sense. Years later they ask about my kidneys and I then say I've never had a problem with my kidneys and they think I was lying about being ill.

Mum told me once you turn 18 you are not entitled to unconditional love from your parents.

My father told me I ruined their marriage because I drank alcohol at 15 with my friends. He still maintains now that this wasn't normal and I broke his heart(parents were working and drinking in pubs at 15)

After starting to see an ex I was crazy about, 4 years after we first broke up ..he told me he was only talking to me again because I was 'easy'

An ex told me I was very unattractive when I cried.

Too many things for me to count, recount or fucking care about. Just no. I know who and what I am. I know the truth. Fuck them.

I will never forget something vile my parents said about me. They claimed I was a liar and never told the truth but I've always been honest. They just didn't want to believe me. They can be shown evidence I'm being honest and will still deny everything I say. They gaslight and say I've told them stuff that vaguely resembles the truth

My heart goes out to you. The feeling you get...knowing nobody believes you..begging to be believed but looking like a lunatic because you're so desperately confused.

Just yesterday at age 33 I sat down with my parents after researching and getting advice from professionals..to tell them about my experience growing up abused and never being believed. It ended in them naming off every horrible thing I'd supposedly done as a child and every 'lie' they still dont believe ...whilst telling me its ok they forgive me. But maintaining they did nothing wrong

I feel like ripping my skin off. They dont know who I am.

I'm sorry you've had to feel like that I hope you have others around you with whom you can truly connect with and feel emotionally safe with.
Sorry to anybody on this thread who's had to endure unprovoked nastiness as adult or child

They dont know who I am.

Yes, but you know who you are. You know the truth. Fuck them.

When I was 16, I was having trouble reading the blackboard at school.

I went for an eye test and it turned out that I shortsighted and needed specs.

For some weird reason, my parents accused me of faking the test and refused to let me wear specs.

I wore them at school, but never at home.

I think my mother thought that no man would take me on if I wore glasses. I am now married and my husband likes my specs.

Very strange and not very nice that my parents accused me of lying.

"You bitch. You FUCKING bitch". What my mother said to me aged 16 because I was visiting a consortium school for the first time and thought I knew the way but accidentally directed my Mum down the wrong road.

"This is all YOUR fault" said to me by my mother the day my Dad got custody of my sibling and the judge ordered her out of the family home when I was 19.

Just a couple of reasons why I'm NC.

Yes, but you know who you are. You know the truth. Fuck them

Can I tell you, this only just dawned on me yesterday afternoon?!!!
After a decade of counselling,soul searching and begging loved ones to connect with me...helping them 'learn' to treat me better. FUCK THAT!!

Now reeling from the shock of realising it was that fucking simple😅

You’re not alone OP, my mum has been very unpleasant over the years under the guise of saying hurtful things to me and DSis because she cared. As a result I was a very angry young woman. Whereas my sister has a fierce anger now.

She’s in a care home now and we’ll absolutely do right by her but out of duty not love.

OP I’m sorry you were bullied and had such a shit teacher but the best revenge you can indulge in is to live your life to the full and be a better person than your mum.

From a bully (who were technically supposed to be my friend at the time) in secondary school age 13 - “We all have boyfriends, you can’t hang around with us any more because you don’t have a boyfriend and you’re not cool. We are grown ups now and you are just a stupid little girl. You’ll never have a boyfriend, nobody will ever love you, you’re unloveable”. And from another bully later that year who I was sharing a room with on a school ski trip “I am so beautiful and you are so ugly, I couldn’t even live with myself being as ugly as you”.

Weirdly I honestly didn’t even see it as bullying at the time as it was all verbal, just thought they were being “mean”. Unfortunately I struggle with depression and ended up divorcing due to domestic abuse and I still hear these bloody 13 year old girls words ringing in my head to this day (along with awful stuff my abusive ex said to me like “you snore like a pig, it’s disgusting”).

For some weird reason, my parents accused me of faking the test and refused to let me wear specs

What the hell is this???? Why do they do this???

I fell ,injured my knee,passed out from the pain and couldn't walk when my dad called a taxi to the hospital my mother went mad telling me i was looking for attention,causing a scene and to put lavender oil on it.
I had torn my ACL and was on and off crutches for over a year.

My dad had a fall,bruised ribs, 3 days later he was in agony when trying to breathe begged someone to help him,he honestly looked like he was dying.
She scowled at him it was a muscle spasm from the fall....I took him to the hospital,the man's chest cavity was filling with blood and had collapsed his lung. He needed surgery and was in hospital for almost a week!

I will never forget something vile my parents said about me. They claimed I was a liar and never told the truth but I've always been honest. They just didn't want to believe me.

Thanks for the flowers @Notimeforaname. I think we are all in need of them.

I have huge issues now surrounding 'The Truth'. I'm too honest and it causes problems. I feel huge amounts of fakeness if I acknowledge my little lies/being tactful. I feel huge amounts of guilt when I'm dishonest about minor things. I overshare and 'confess' stuff that should be private and people don't deserve to know. I overreact when people lie. Some lies should be let go of to maintain friendships.

I have had counselling and gone over my past. Viewing past events as an adult puts a completely different perspective on them. My parents are very dishonest and lie to themselves; they projected this onto me. They seem to believe their lies yet are often caught out.

They used my age against me. I was a child in their arena and couldn't properly defend myself. They broke me but I am fixing myself back together and am stronger now as a result. My strength comes from their verbal abuse.

Said by my ex. We had 2 small DD at the time (4 and 5 yrs old). Just found out I had fallen pregnant for the 3rd time and he told me 'I don't want it so get rid of IT. I've never forgotten and it still hurts. Needless to say I ignored him and my beautiful DS is now 15 and the light of my life.

@Zebraaa so go read that then. This op has her thread with her issue. Guess what. She's allowed!

I think quite a few things have been said but I have learned to screen them out. Consequently I don't have many childhood memories. I think a teacher once called my a gypsy because my parents ran a caravan park ( scenic part of the country). We weren't travellers they just ran the park. Classic bullying and belittling by the teacher.

Notime - that's awful! I can't believe you were not listened to

I don't know why my parents thought I was faking myopia. My mum has always been weird about my glasses. She pushed me into wearing contacts, which never really worked for me, and told me not to wear my specs on my wedding day.

I 'friend' told me on a group MSN message that the world would be a better place if I wasn't in it.

We were 14ish and the group had been targeting me for a while.

Funily enough, my older brother saw me crying at the computer and read over my shoulder, then very uncharacteristically hugged me. That moment changed our relationship for the better and is part of the reason I didn't want my eldest to be an only child.

Those words still ring in my mind now. I'm so greatful I didn't act on them (although i very nearly did).

@Zebraaa fuck me what a callous response. I have this thread wondering what sort of people could do such things and then you pipe up.

[quote Zebraaa]@7catsandcounting we just don’t need another “woe is me” pity party thread [/quote]
Unpleasant. Don't read it then.

[quote Zebraaa]@7catsandcounting we just don’t need another “woe is me” pity party thread [/quote]
Thank you Zebraaa. I now know to ignore any comments I see from you on future threads. I have no interest in reading anything written by someone who can be so vicious to people sharing their pain.

I was quite badly bullied in high school. There was a new girl who took a dislike to me when I was about 14 and quite successfully managed to make 99% of my class be absolutely vile to me.
I leaned under my desk after an IT lesson to get my bag and it was gone. Someone had taken it and put it in the bin at the front of the classroom. The whole class burst out laughing when I went to fetch it, the teacher did nothing and I was absolutely mortified.
As we were leaving the room, a boy in the class told me that he saw me walking by his house sometimes and that his dad had a gun. He said that if I ever went past his house again, he was going to shoot me.
I used to walk that way to babysit for a family friends child every week and was absolutely terrified to the point that I’d either get my dad to drop me off and hide in the back as we drove by, or walk the long way (about an extra half a mile) to avoid his house. This went on for over 3 years until I left school.
Looking back I can’t believe that I let it bother me so much but I was honestly so frightened.

[quote Zebraaa]@7catsandcounting we just don’t need another “woe is me” pity party thread [/quote]
You made you the thread police ffs. What a callous reply.