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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Prom Refund

75 replies

mummy2CnB · 01/03/2021 14:25

So my son was ment to have his year 11 prom last June. Obviously with covid this could not go ahead. It was moved to september then possibly to December but in Novemeber was officially canceld. There was a social media post saying that we had to email for refund but I had not seen this. Today a post was put up saying that all refunds were done and the account now closed. I commented saying I had not had ones only to be told that I should have emailed for a refund and that any money that was remeaining in the account where they had not been contacted was donated to the school. I am fuming. PLease tell me I am not being unreasonable. The prom is organised with students by the help of thier parents. To which they have come back and said one student with a single parent has been sorting this and it was a lot to deal with and there is nothing they can do as they have already closed the account and donated the money. I missed one post about refunds and now my money is gone? That can be right. Surely they have money left over they know people are still due refunds. To just give this money away and close the account with no further contact is rediculous. The would have had a list of the names of people who had paid in and we had to use our childs name as refrence when paying so there really is no excuse for this right?

OP posts:
TheLumpySofaCushion · 01/03/2021 14:27

Sounds like you have a very good reason to be annoyed, OP.

I know they can't chase everyone for ever, but a few warnings / reminders should have been sent.

Could you contact the school and request your amount back?

AlexaShutUp · 01/03/2021 14:29

No, if they had contacted you directly about the refund and given a clear deadline, then it would be fair enough to donate the money left over after the deadline. However, it seems that the information about refunds was only shared via social media, which is not sufficient.

Yanbu to be angry, but I'm not sure what your options are now with regard to getting the money back.

SoupDragon · 01/03/2021 14:30

I can see why you'd be annoyed but surely you must have thought about the refund in the 3 months since it was cancelled?

Notaroadrunner · 01/03/2021 14:32

I'd contact the school via email and ask for the money from the donation and I'd cc the person who organised it.

Marylou2 · 01/03/2021 14:38

YANBU. Forward your original email requesting a refund to the organiser. Make it clear that you require a refund as per your original email. Be polite and businesslike and do not make apologies.
That was your money and they had no right to donate it without consent.

BusyLizzie61 · 01/03/2021 14:40

They have carried out due diligence and done all they needed. Explained using the same means how to get a refund and the timescale.

How much was it?

TitusPullo · 01/03/2021 14:43

I would be peeved too but I am not sure there is anything you can do short of going down some sort of legal route which I doubt would be worth it.

Snowymcsnowsony · 01/03/2021 14:45

Isn't it strange how schools can contact regularly when it suits..

AlexaShutUp · 01/03/2021 14:45

They have carried out due diligence and done all they needed. Explained using the same means how to get a refund and the timescale.

If they had contacted the OP directly, then I would agree, but they didn't. Surely it isn't reasonable to rely on people looking at social media for important information like this?

Unless they had previously informed individuals that all updates would be made via social media, then I don't think this is enough?

AlexaShutUp · 01/03/2021 14:46

Isn't it strange how schools can contact regularly when it suits..

This isn't about the school, though - it was being organised by students with the help of their parents.

kooked · 01/03/2021 14:48

@BusyLizzie61

They have carried out due diligence and done all they needed. Explained using the same means how to get a refund and the timescale.

How much was it?

No they haven't. I'm not on mainstream social media - would I not deserve a refund?
Like fuck I'd just let this go op. Complain, long and loudly.

Hankunamatata · 01/03/2021 14:49

It's probably been one parent on PTA that's done all the running and organising for this. So no I wouldn't have expected that person to get every parents email. If you were that concerned then you should have contacted the school in November when it was officially cancelled. It's been 3 months did you not think to ask?

Hankunamatata · 01/03/2021 14:51

Probably not organised by the school hence cant use their systems. If the money is with the school then person who organised cant refund as school has the money.

Hankunamatata · 01/03/2021 14:52

And this is why schools cant get parents to organise anything then kids suffer. Other parents moaning

kooked · 01/03/2021 14:52

Lol everyone saying tough shit because a parent organised it. If you take on any sort of treasurer role, you have to put the leg work in. You don't just half arse it, close your book and say Job Done when other people's money is involved 🤦🏽‍♀️

Original poster
mummy2CnB · 01/03/2021 14:53

@BusyLizzie61

They have carried out due diligence and done all they needed. Explained using the same means how to get a refund and the timescale.

How much was it?

I had not seen the post and on now goin back to look at it there was no mention of a dead line or that monies would be dontate. I can see how they carried out all due diligence when everyone had to pay by bank trasfer with the childs name as refrence and a completed concent form with contact email address. So they would have had a stack of form and also a list of payment names and childs names. It would have been more efferot having to check off those who had already recieved refunds and contacting the remaining but surely that is a duty of care that should have been taken?
OP posts:
Lou98 · 01/03/2021 14:55

YANBU proms aren't cheap and I wouldn't be happy about that!

Not everyone uses social media so I'm surprised they never sent a text out with the deadline aswell. Had they contacted you directly and you hadn't gotten around to claiming it then I would say it's your own fault but they can't expect everyone to have seen a SM post!

LawnFever · 01/03/2021 14:57

I’d be annoyed as well, not everyone is on social media & not everyone checks it regularly, it’s not a good enough way to have communicated with people at all.

Even if it was someone volunteering they had plenty of time to get emails from the school and at least send one message letting people know.

JTrevelyan · 01/03/2021 14:58

@Hankunamatata

It's probably been one parent on PTA that's done all the running and organising for this. So no I wouldn't have expected that person to get every parents email. If you were that concerned then you should have contacted the school in November when it was officially cancelled. It's been 3 months did you not think to ask?
Seems there's a lot of victim blaming in this thread Hmm
AlexaShutUp · 01/03/2021 15:01

Lol everyone saying tough shit because a parent organised it. If you take on any sort of treasurer role, you have to put the leg work in. You don't just half arse it, close your book and say Job Done when other people's money is involved

Agreed, if you take on this kind of responsibility, you have a duty to do it properly.

OP, just a thought, do you think your ds might have received any direct communications about the refund?

Original poster
mummy2CnB · 01/03/2021 15:02

@Hankunamatata

It's probably been one parent on PTA that's done all the running and organising for this. So no I wouldn't have expected that person to get every parents email. If you were that concerned then you should have contacted the school in November when it was officially cancelled. It's been 3 months did you not think to ask?
Everyone had to fill in a booking and concent form with parents contact email. all payments had to be done oneline so would have had my name on and payments had to be made with childs name as refrence so was no reason they could not contact direct. The only reason I knew it was officially canceld was the student had put a post on the students instagram saying it was now canceled and were sorting with venue to get money already paid to them back and would then sort refunds. My son told me as like I said was on the students Instagram. It was was 4 days later a post on the school parents facebook group about requesting via email. This is the post I had not seen being a parent page there ar lost of posts I can't be expected to check every parent past incase something is said regarding prom.
OP posts:
Kitfish · 01/03/2021 15:05

It's hardly a life changing amount of money and the school will benefit from it. I think you're getting very worked-up over something that isn't that big a deal. Chill.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 01/03/2021 15:09

@Kitfish

It's hardly a life changing amount of money and the school will benefit from it. I think you're getting very worked-up over something that isn't that big a deal. Chill.
If it's not life-changing they won't miss it will they.

It doesn't even say how much it is. Prom tickets round here can be upwards of £60. No way I'd be letting that go.

Original poster
mummy2CnB · 01/03/2021 15:11

UPDATE:

After a back and forth comment deabte the organising parent has said they will refund me as a "good will guesture" out of her own pocket. Im glad I will get the money back but I do feel bad for anyone else that has missed the post not knowing.

OP posts:
lanthanum · 01/03/2021 15:14

I don't think a "social media" post really counts as contacting you. Not everybody follows social media the whole time.

Unfortunately, leaving half-supervised students in charge is a bit foolish when it comes to a large amount of money, and it's difficult to see a good solution at this point. I think you probably just have to rationalise it as "my son's year weren't able to have a prom so we donated the money we would have spent on it to charity instead".

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