That all I enjoy doing is staying in the house and watching tv?

[flaminhotcheetos]

I've always been this way, I would definitely call myself lazy however my house is clean and tidy and I am very motivated when it comes to my job. I can push myself to do things even if I don't want to do them, if I know it will benefit me in the long run.

However, all I want to do is sit and scroll my phone/watch tv/read a book. My ideal day is when I know I have no obligations and can just sit and scroll/watch tv/read.

I have a 7 year old dd and share custody with her dad, when I have her I obviously make the effort to go to the park, go walks, bake, play games or whatever, but I always look forward to just laying on the sofa watching tv, scrolling or reading. It's where I feel content and relaxed and sometimes I have cancelled plans with people to do just that.

I'm not depressed, I still find joy in everyday life, I just genuinely like being alone doing these things. I honestly could do it everyday for the rest of my life (excluding days I have my dd) and not get bored.

I always feel a pang of guilt because I think life is going quickly and I know a lot of people would judge me for wanting to spend my time like this but I just do.

I enjoy it more than hanging out with friends, or going a walk, or going for lunch or exercising. I feel like I should be doing more because society says I should be doing more. I feel that whenever I'm not working and not got my daughter and someone asks me what I'm doing the answering is constantly, 'just chilling' or 'just relaxing' and I feel judged by certain friends as they are just go go go.

AIBU to think I'm abnormal in some way that this is how I have spent the last ten years and don't see it changing anytime
Soon?

Same. I feel like the last 10 years have just been training for lockdown. Aside from the obvious tragic death toll, job losses, etc etc - I've enjoyed not feeling bad for wanting to sit at home all day...

Its a free country, and as long as you're not inflicting this on your DC or anyone else you're not being unreasonable, no. Some people prioritise a quiet, stress free life and prefer their inner world.

Personally I would go nuts living like this and would feel incredibly stifled and limited and as if life was passing me by. But if it makes you happy and as long as you are not signalling to your children that this is all they can/should expect, then you should be totally at peace with it.

What thepeopleversuswork said.

As an adult, it is a free country, and, if that's what makes you happy, then why should it bother anyone else.

As a parent, I wonder what example you are setting.
Do you (outside of 2020) take your dd to anything where she joins in with other people / has a chance to be friends with people outside of school ?

Bollocks to society.

I'm exactly the same OP. I work hard at my job, I'm extremely organised, my house is clean, I get enough exercise and I make an effort to keep in touch with friends. My favourite leisure activity is a good dinner, on the sofa, in front of the telly and that's what I do most evenings. At weekends I love to stay in bed all morning browsing the internet or reading. Thankfully my partner is the same. I love to have friends round sometimes, but I do find it exhausting.

Who cares what anyone else thinks? I'm just grateful I have the time to relax. I don't know how people who play hard do it.

I feel the same about holidays - give me a beach and a book. City breaks are just knackering. I like to visit them, but a bus or tuk-tuk tour is plenty of sightseeing for me. Days of walking around on concrete and long nights of going out or whatever are just too much.

I'm not going to apologise for being "lazy", especially since I'm very un-lazy with work. I need to switch off, and for me that means doing nowt.

@BackforGood oh yeah my daughter has plenty of stimulation with other kids, she's loads of cousins so if she wasn't at theirs then they were at ours. She's in primary 3 and there have been a few play dates, she's went to others, other have come to ours, taken her and her wee pal for a day out at the beach. She was at the park this morning with me and her cousins and aunts for 2 hours. We paint, play games, go out walks/on her scooter/bikes. She has brownies, swimming, judo and dancing (pre lockdown). She does see me chill at the end of it all and she's happy to chill too after the activities. She's just as busy at her dads as well who is the opposite of me and is go go go all the time.

@TheLeadbetterLife you're a lady after my own heart. Couldn't have said it better myself. I am the same, I enjoy socialising to a certain extent (pre Covid) but after an hour or two I'm ready to be alone again, or just be with my daughter and find it very exhausting also.

I would be worried if I wasn't keeping in touch with family and friends or this was something new but it's how I've always been (minus the party days) and still keep in touch with my family and friends as much as I always have.

TheLeadbetterLife its not so much about what anyone thinks.

I do think its fine for an adult to choose to live like this as long as it isn't negatively affecting others. But I think if you have kids its slightly different and there is an obligation to go a bit beyond the "low hanging fruit" comfort setting.

Its really important to create a sense of wide horizons and possibilities for children. Not everyone wants to or can afford to go abroad on holiday all the time, for example, but setting up the idea that its "not necessary" as I've heard many people say about foreign holidays strikes me as quite limiting.

I think its important for children to feel that sometimes stepping outside their comfort zones will ultimately be more enjoyable than doing the same comforting things on a rinse and repeat basis. It benefits them over the longer term to learn that sometimes more challenging things will be more rewarding.

One of the reasons I left my husband was because he never wanted to do anything other than watch TV. I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with someone like this and I also didn't want my daughter growing up thinking this was the default "happiness" setting.

I don't judge any adult who has decided to live like this and I note that you say you make an effort for your kids. But I would just make sure that you're not sub-consciously sending the message that less is best and effort doesn't pay off.

Yes. I have a very busy job, which I do well and I make sure to do some stuff with the DC and necessary bits around the house, but by choice I would watch TV or read in bed. Feel like I always have to justify this to DH.

Ahh see this is one of the perks of being single...don't have to justify myself to no one!

Same here OP. If i would get a chance i would just stay home, lie on the sofa n watch tv.. all day long....

@thepeopleversuswork I never mentioned anything about travelling...I was taken on lots of holidays growing up, in particular I remember a holiday to Cairo when I was around 11 and I got constant shit from my parents as all I wanted to do was sit in the room and chill and watch tv. As I've grown I go on holidays and I of course, leave the room now and I enjoy them but when I come home I look forward to doing absolutely FA.

My daughter has been on holiday, I took her on a 14 hour flight to Arizona when she was 19 months old, she's been to Greece and Spain a few times and Paris so she is in no danger of missing out on experiences and broadening her horizons and will be encouraged to do so as she grows.

No judgement from me, if that genuinely makes you happy, but do you think you might get to the end of your life and wish that you'd used your time differently? That would be my main concern, but if you wouldn't feel any sense of regret, sit back and enjoy your TV.

It sounds like you're trying to do plenty with your dd when you have her, so I doubt it's having a negative impact on her, but you're probably better placed to judge that. Out if interest, would you be happy if she chose to follow your example?

It's not really the kind of life I'd choose for me or my dd, but we're all different. If it works for you and it isn't affecting anyone else, crack on!

flaminhotcheetos I know you didn't mention travel, it was a random example.

The point I was trying to make is that its fine for you but I think when you have children there's some obligation to make sure you're not limiting their expectations through the behaviour and aspirations you model for them. It sounds like you go out of your way not to let that happen, so fair enough.

YANBU.

I love it too!!

Could have written your post myself, OP.

You're me!

@AlexaShutUp no I wouldn't want my dd to follow the same example and the thought makes me quite sad actually but can't quite place my finger on why.

I realise there is more to life, but that 'more' just isn't of interest to me. I don't enjoy doing them very much, I enjoy being in my bubble.

I think the reason that thought makes me sad is if she enjoyed doing that solely because it's what I enjoyed doing. If she was a grown adult who had a busy job and was genuinely happy doing that and not depressed then I'd say crack on I think.

Me too! I haven't found lockdown at all difficult, other than I'd like to see family. I have sometimes wondered if I'm depressed, but no I think I'm just lazy.

I'm with you OP. Nothing wrong with being happy and content in your own company.

@CKL987 Same, I've enjoyed lockdown for that reason, not having the guilt that I should be active constantly. I also dread summer because I hate the pressure that I am wasting a day sitting inside watching the tv I've also questioned whether I am depressed but like you, I'm definetely just 'lazy'

Yep me too.

before anyone frets, my DC had lots of clubs and socialing, days out blah blah blah I can't tell you how good it feels that they are old enough to sort there social calalander out now, and I can enjoy just chilling. When I'm not working.

like PP I still meet up with friends and have odd days out or evening with DH.

But on weekends or getting home from work and sorting my horse out, its then either PS4, TV, book or scrolling on my phone, sometimes 2 at once

She has brownies, swimming, judo and dancing (pre lockdown).

See, I didn't get that impression from your opening post.
Now you've said that, then you are showing her there are all sorts of things in life she can try, and may - or, as she gets older - might not enjoy, but you will have introduced her to the concept there is more to life than sitting on the sofa watching TV all day (which wasn't clear at first).

I’m like this. I’m quite introverted and prefer my own company. Every evening once the kids are in bed I watch mindless tv and play on my phone. If I get a day off that’s what I prefer to do as well. If I didn’t have kids I would have loved lockdown, stuck in the house with my phone and Netflix and no obligations and I’m a happy bunny.

I've found my people!