That all I enjoy doing is staying in the house and watching tv?

[flaminhotcheetos]

I've always been this way, I would definitely call myself lazy however my house is clean and tidy and I am very motivated when it comes to my job. I can push myself to do things even if I don't want to do them, if I know it will benefit me in the long run.

However, all I want to do is sit and scroll my phone/watch tv/read a book. My ideal day is when I know I have no obligations and can just sit and scroll/watch tv/read.

I have a 7 year old dd and share custody with her dad, when I have her I obviously make the effort to go to the park, go walks, bake, play games or whatever, but I always look forward to just laying on the sofa watching tv, scrolling or reading. It's where I feel content and relaxed and sometimes I have cancelled plans with people to do just that.

I'm not depressed, I still find joy in everyday life, I just genuinely like being alone doing these things. I honestly could do it everyday for the rest of my life (excluding days I have my dd) and not get bored.

I always feel a pang of guilt because I think life is going quickly and I know a lot of people would judge me for wanting to spend my time like this but I just do.

I enjoy it more than hanging out with friends, or going a walk, or going for lunch or exercising. I feel like I should be doing more because society says I should be doing more. I feel that whenever I'm not working and not got my daughter and someone asks me what I'm doing the answering is constantly, 'just chilling' or 'just relaxing' and I feel judged by certain friends as they are just go go go.

AIBU to think I'm abnormal in some way that this is how I have spent the last ten years and don't see it changing anytime
Soon?

I don't have kids, and what on earth makes you think I don't do anything challenging?

I do lots of things that challenge me, I'm outside my comfort zone all the time and I've done many interesting projects and continue to take on new things.

It's just that of an evening, or when I'm not working, I like to sit and watch films and TV. Or spend an hour or two scrolling politics Twitter and catching up with the news.

Maybe it's because I work in the creative industries and tend always to have a few projects on the go. I don't crave "excitement" outside of work at all. I couldn't sit on the sofa all day every day, but a Sunday in bed - fantastic. I used to travel a lot for work a few years ago and the best thing about it was the hotel rooms - telly in bed, room service, all alone. Perfect evening as far as I'm concerned.

I've always been a bit like this in a way. I hate organised fun and "activities", hated them as a kid.

no I wouldn't want my dd to follow the same example and the thought makes me quite sad actually but can't quite place my finger on why.

I realise there is more to life, but that 'more' just isn't of interest to me. I don't enjoy doing them very much, I enjoy being in my bubble.

I think the reason that thought makes me sad is if she enjoyed doing that solely because it's what I enjoyed doing. If she was a grown adult who had a busy job and was genuinely happy doing that and not depressed then I'd say crack on I think.

OK, so it sounds like you'd actually be perfectly happy for your dd to live the same sort of lifestyle, as long as she was actively choosing that lifestyle rather than just falling into it as a result of seeing how you live. That suggests to me that you don't feel like you're missing out on anything important.

Personally, I think that life is short and I want to get the very most out of it, but if you are getting what you want and you don't aspire to more, I think that's fair enough. It's good to be content with life's simple pleasures.

@AlexaShutUp yes, you managed to explain what I was meaning much better than me, perfectly put! Thank you

Is it imagination or did Winnie the Pooh say his favourite thing to do was nothing?

I'm the same.

I started a thread on it but clearly did it wrong!

You’re me! Chilling and watching tv is my default. I have a good job, DH etc but I find hobbies as something to get out of the way.

I go for a walk at least each day or I do get a bit restless, but most social activities I’m looking forward to getting home and relaxing. I wish I could find a hobby I enjoyed and looking forward to but I just find it draining.

As a kid I did lots, brownies, music lessons, swimming and whilst i enjoyed them,was the same and just wanted to get home and chill.

Op you do you
I’m the same
When I sent kids away to see dad I am so tired I do just this
I know once lockdown is over (if not before !) we will have to get out and if nothing else exercise more
Maybe meet friends in the park etc
But don’t beat yourself up for enjoying what you enjoy
If I had the choice between a night out socialising or a night on the sofa with my beloved smart TV I know what I prefer
I’m late 40s , I’m done socialising all the time

I do have hobbies but they are exactly that. If I don't feel like doing them for 3 weeks, I don't do them.

Someone mentioned travel. I've done some, don't wish to again.

Someone also mentioned comfort zones. i don't venture out of mine. Enough shit happens in life to force you out of it, I'm not going to volunteer for it. When life is peaceful and I am healthy, I like to just enjoy.

OP, if you're worried about your dd falling into the same pattern simply because she is following your example, can you try to expose her to a range of people who take a different approach to life?

My parents did not really have hobbies, and politics was their only real interest. They watched a lot of TV and didn't do loads of other stuff. I remember thinking as a teenager that I didn't want that kind of life for myself. What helped is that my parents had a couple of friends who had a very different approach...one elderly lady in particular, who had an incredibly rich and rewarding life despite being old enough to be my grandmother. She inspired me as a teenager because she was always learning, always trying new things, always living life to the full. It gave me an example of a different way of living from what I saw at home.

Not saying that one is inherently better than another, by the way. It's personal preference rather than worthiness. I just think it's good for all kids to be exposed to different ways of doing things so that they can work out what they want for themselves.

God, you are so lucky! I wish I was able to feel content so easily. I want to walk, see people, exercise, go places, learn a language, write a novel.... I wish I had time! If simple things make you happy, be glad. Enjoy them and don’t feel guilty.

You know all those posts on here about how no one on their deathbed is going to wish they’d worked more ? Are you really going to wish you’d crammed in another Antiques Roadshow rerun or lain down a bit more?

You may find parental influence actually has the opposite effect. I'm inherently lazy but my parents were both very "busy" people during my childhood, always doing things.

but if you are getting what you want and you don't aspire to more

See that is quite judgey. I've packed quite a bit into my life thanks, live pretty well which has given my DC plenty of options and opportunities for the future.

There isn't much I haven't done, barring extreme sports. (although riding horses is pretty dangerous)

But I just don't want to go to endless concerts, festivals, nights out, BBQ, exercise classes, escape rooms, city breaks, cycling miles, kayaking all the way down the Thames. every weekend, evening.

I do enjoy all of the above but once in a while is fine, same as I might take a class in pottery some time after lockdown, but that one class a week will do me just fine then chilling the rest of the week.

Honestly I just feel exhausted when I see some peoples weekends plastered on face book, it's like the can't actually cope with having a single minute that isn't scheduled to be somewhere, doing something, with other people, from going for a run/bike in the morning to bungee jumping of bridge at midday, followed by great catch up with friends BBQ in the afternoon, to then heading to a live concert. These people are at it every hour of every weekend.
I mean good for them.

But definitely not for me. I could do all those things spread out through the year, and have all the same experiences as them just not on constant repeat.

I'm exactly the same.. Its soo good to know that I'm really not the only person like this. I much prefer to be on my own with my phone an TV.. People have made me question if I am depressed but I'm really not I just enjoy my own company and not having to answer to anyone..

Very difficult when your a single parent with a very active 9 year old daughter!

YANBU. If that is the way you enjoy your life, I am not here to judge.

I have learned you can never please everyone and people will judge no matter what. As long as you are happy with the way you're living, that is the main thing.

Nope! I love being home and doing nothing, and I am childfree, which is a whole other level of peace and bliss 😊

@NewYearNewTwatName, it genuinely isn't judgy, and I tried to make that clear. I'm sorry if the way I phrased it made it sound that way, because it really wasn't supposed to.

I've made it clear that the OP's life isn't what I would choose for myself, but if others are happy living a different sort of life, then all power to them. Ultimately, it comes down to a difference in values and personal preferences, that's all. I don't think one approach is "better" than another in any objective sense, it's just about what is better for any one individual.

Another the same here.
Too much/many outings and coffees and meet ups just feel like hard work.
I'm happy at home, drinking my own coffee and doing not much else.

YANBU
I see it all the time, people saying 'i can't wait to go to the pub/festivals/holidays again and start living life'

Is that really what makes up a life? Running about here and there? Am I not really living if I spend my weekend sitting about the house, relaxing or doing a bit of gardening? I feel like I've done all the gigs and festivals I really want to do and they don't appeal any more. Same with holidays...queuing in the airport, sitting on the plane, getting a bus to the hotel, blah blah, it's all so mundane really.

Having said that there are places I would like to visit, but most of them are in the UK. We live in an area of such amazing history and natural beauty that most other countries I have visited (I did lots of travelling in my 20s) dont really draw me back.

God who cares op, live you life and do as you please! Good for you!

Yep. I’m with you. I do enjoy all that stuff, socialising, travel, walking, gigs, dancing etc, but it occupies a totally different territory In my life from relaxing. Relaxing for me is reading a book/scrolling through my phone/ listening to a podcast. And I have a stressful enough life right now so I need to relax at the end of the day. There is nothing wrong with relaxing like you do op, it’s your time and you should enjoy it.

I am like you OP, I love watching tele, scrolling on my phone, and reading my Kindle.
I am much older than you, have a adult son and daughter plus Grand children, I do things with them, well did before lock down, and I work as well.
I am now refusing to feel guilty because I refuse to do all the things people think I should be doing. I am quite happy with doing things my way.

It sounds like you're a typical introvert. It's just your personality and there's nothing wrong with it at all. Society celebrates frenetic action, but introverts get great satisfaction and peace from being alone. It's just the way they're wired.

But I just don't want to go to endless concerts, festivals, nights out, BBQ, exercise classes, escape rooms, city breaks, cycling miles, kayaking all the way down the Thames. every weekend, evening.
These things are all quite meaningless too, and even more so if you felt you had to do them to please others.

OP you're doing plenty with your DD, and her dad's an on-the-go type, so there's nothing to worry about.

Same here. I sometimes feel like I should be doing more- I live in the countryside so I feel I should be getting fresh air and taking advantage of the space but all I want is to curl up on the sofa in comfy clothes with DH and watch tv all day. I have an online shop and I'm a housewife so I don't just sit around doing nothing all day but I'd like to.

Pottering. I love it too.