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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

School forcing hot meal on pupil premium DCs?

63 replies

RedBlackCandle · 28/02/2021 16:23

My DD is 6, year 2. She has some additional needs and we’re going through the EHCP process right now. I am also a single parent with limited input from her DF (2 hours once a fortnight atm).

She gets pupil premium because she is in receipt of DLA and because of this over the lockdowns we’ve received FSM food vouchers. I haven’t actually needed to use them and have passed them onto friends who were struggling (with schools permission); I have a fairly decent job, get maintenance from ExH etc.

School sent a letter round to the parents of children in receipt of PP on Thursday saying that as of 8th March all children on PP will be expected to eat a hot meal at lunchtime. They are currently only offering a hot lunch to PP pupils no sandwich options these are for the none PP children only.

My DD doesn’t always like the options available and has a thing about the bread school use (she’s not a huge bread eater anyway) so a few times a week I send her with a packed lunch. This has never been a problem before and school will often get her a drink etc. from the dinner hall due to her PP status.

I emailed to ask if I could continue to send a packed lunch sometimes as I do now, and got a call from the school secretary to say they’ll call me tomorrow to discuss it but she didn’t think the head would budge because of problems in the local area with the FSM vouchers (they were appearing on Facebook being sold for more than their value and some parents claimed on those posts wasn’t their job to feed the kids during the school day so I can see the heads POV).

I will add here the hot meal is useful on the days DD eats it as she tends not to eat much when she gets home due to tiredness but I don’t want school or school meals to become an issue or battle so she stops having them all together.

AIBU or do I just have to suck it up?

OP posts:

OwlinaTree · 28/02/2021 16:28

I don't really see what the link with the vouchers being sold is with them providing lunches once school is open again. Presumably then there will be no vouchers.

I would ask for a further explanation of this new system myself.

SnackSizeRaisin · 28/02/2021 16:34

If you can afford to provide a packed lunch for her and are happy to do so, surely it would be a bit ridiculous to insist that she has a hot meal that she doesn't want?

Original poster

RedBlackCandle · 28/02/2021 16:37

@SnackSizeRaisin

If you can afford to provide a packed lunch for her and are happy to do so, surely it would be a bit ridiculous to insist that she has a hot meal that she doesn't want?

Thats what I mean, sometimes she'll happily have whats on the menu, I'd say 3 times a week she has whats offered but there's a few times where she doesn't like one aspect of the meal which means she'll refuse the whole thing, so I send a packed lunch rather than argue with her about it.

OP posts:

peak2021 · 28/02/2021 16:37

Does your DD have a hot meal in the evening? For many in receipt of FSM (and the school PP) in different circumstances from your own, they don't.

SnackSizeRaisin · 28/02/2021 16:37

Also it seems discriminatory to offer different food to the free school meals children. Surely they should be able to choose from the same options as everyone else. I'm wondering if you've misunderstood the policy, as I can't see how it is relevant to misuse of the vouchers

FoxyTheFox · 28/02/2021 16:38

I'd send her with a packed lunch regardless of what school say about her having a hot lunch.

Original poster

RedBlackCandle · 28/02/2021 16:40

@peak2021

Does your DD have a hot meal in the evening? For many in receipt of FSM (and the school PP) in different circumstances from your own, they don't.

No I can afford to and have tried to offer it but she's obviously tired and often only has 1 or 2 mouthfuls of a sandwich before she doesn't want anymore. Obviously as she gets older she might want more so I will give it if needed.

OP posts:

GloGirl · 28/02/2021 16:43

Yanbu but I will say as I switched our son to packed lunches our school were equally snippy about swapping between the two. I've made a permanent switch now - a decision between letting them try more food or making sure they're well fed.

I decided that school dinners were causing daily conflict and uncertainty.

Original poster

RedBlackCandle · 28/02/2021 16:46

@GloGirl

I decided that school dinners were causing daily conflict and uncertainty.

It's never been a problem before nothing has ever been said to me, and I've had regular meetings both in person and more recently on zoom where I've mentioned it and the staff didn't seem at all bothered. I will happily send in a lunch everyday if thats what they prefer though, although DD would miss certain meals which school are apparently better at making.

OP posts:

RootyT00t · 28/02/2021 16:48

With that info OP, I can see why they are trying to insist on a hot meal at lunch.

A sandwich and two bites of dinner is not enough.

Why is she so tired?

Original poster

RedBlackCandle · 28/02/2021 16:50

@RootyT00t

With that info OP, I can see why they are trying to insist on a hot meal at lunch.

A sandwich and two bites of dinner is not enough.

Why is she so tired?

Her condition causes tiredness. She usually sleeps 12 hours a night and would easily still have a lunchtime nap for an hour if given the chance (she often did in Reception).

She eats all of her meal at lunchtime whether it's the school hot meal or my packed lunch, it's just in the evening she's too tired. I've found the same during the lockdown, if she eats her main meal at lunchtime she eats it all or nearly all of it but by 3.30-4pm she's too tired for more than a few bites.

OP posts:

ktp100 · 28/02/2021 16:51

If your child is anything like mine she'll eat literally nothing rather than be forced to have a hot meal she hates.

To argue that a child going hungry is better than having a packed lunch from home is ridiculous.

Beforethetakingoftoastandt3a · 28/02/2021 16:51

@SnackSizeRaisin

This. This is like the old days when fsm students were made a show of for being different. Unacceptable.

10brokengreenbottles · 28/02/2021 16:58

DLA doesn't entitle you to PP.

When the HT calls remind them they must make reasonable adjustments.

Why would people buy FSM vouchers for more than their value?

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 28/02/2021 17:01

Well they can't force her to have a school meal if you send a packed lunch.

Original poster

RedBlackCandle · 28/02/2021 17:04

@10brokengreenbottles

DLA doesn't entitle you to PP.

When the HT calls remind them they must make reasonable adjustments.

Why would people buy FSM vouchers for more than their value?

I have no idea why they would buy them for more than their value.

I just looked up the eligibility and thought it was due to DLA but just checked and my DD also had Child Arrangements Order for her so that might be where she's eligible. She's definitely eligible as I applied for it myself on the County Council Website and had to give the number they gave me to the school secretary. I remember writing it on some forms as well.

OP posts:

gamerchick · 28/02/2021 17:06

I think in your shoes I'd ask the bairn to choose. Either full school dinners or packed lunch. There's been too many hassles this past year as it is.

Yesmate · 28/02/2021 17:08

They cannot force her to have hot lunch. Send her in with a packed lunch. People buying vouchers for more than their monetary value doesn’t make sense, why would anyone pay £20 for a £15 voucher. The head is making up as they go along.

haggisandmarsbar · 28/02/2021 17:12

The school are right to insist on a hot meal at lunch time in that situation, they are trying to get a decent meal into your DD and make sure that she has a meal which is not likely to result in malnourishment.

I am surprised that the school said to pass the vouchers on to another family.

dottiedodah · 28/02/2021 17:13

Well surely a hot meal at lunchtime is good if she is too tired to eat by the evening? Could you make her some soup or a hot milky drink for supper? Just a way of getting some more vitamins into her .One meal a day doesnt seem much .What about some Childrens vitamins .I used to give my DC these when younger and they seem to increase appetite as I remember .

10brokengreenbottles · 28/02/2021 17:20

A child arrangement order doesn't qualify you for FSM either. The criteria are here.

If DD left local authority care under a child arrangements order DD would be eligible for PP+ but not FSM other than the universal infant meals.

FedUpAtHomeTroels · 28/02/2021 17:20

@ktp100

If your child is anything like mine she'll eat literally nothing rather than be forced to have a hot meal she hates.

To argue that a child going hungry is better than having a packed lunch from home is ridiculous.

I had one child who did this. He would rather not eat at all. So I ended up sending pack lunch that he always ate.

Can you see the menu ahead of time and only send in a packed lunch on days you know the child won't eat their hot food?
Or send a pack lunch every day and if they eat the hot food The pack lunch comes home.

42andcounting · 28/02/2021 17:21

Is it because the kitchen find it difficult to have kids doing part of the week on school meals and part on packed lunch? My DD gets FSM because she's still key stage 1. When the schools went back after the first lockdown it was on a restricted menu, and there was a lot of food that my very picky DD would not eat. She will literally go hungry rather than eat certain foods, or even other things from a plate that has those foods on. I thought we would be able to do two days of school meals and three of pack up, but it was not allowed, it had to be all or nothing. Maybe that's what's going on? Might be worth asking.

orangenasturtium · 28/02/2021 17:23

I know it's not what you asked but if she struggles with eating in the evening, have you considered meal replacement shakes/juices? It can be easier to drink something if she has no appetite. You can buy some OTC like Complan but the prescription full meal replacement ones are better, like Fortisip/Fortijuice. You could ask your GP/consultant about them. They are more palatable if you add blended fruit or ice cream and serve them ice cold.

Comefromaway · 28/02/2021 17:30

Are you asking if you can supplement her free school meal/drink with a packed lunch in case she doesn’t like what is on offer or are you asking that you continue to receive the vouchers instead?

It’s so much better at secondary where the free school meal entitlement is simply deducted from whatever they buy.

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