School forcing hot meal on pupil premium DCs?

[RedBlackCandle]

My DD is 6, year 2. She has some additional needs and we’re going through the EHCP process right now. I am also a single parent with limited input from her DF (2 hours once a fortnight atm).

She gets pupil premium because she is in receipt of DLA and because of this over the lockdowns we’ve received FSM food vouchers. I haven’t actually needed to use them and have passed them onto friends who were struggling (with schools permission); I have a fairly decent job, get maintenance from ExH etc.

School sent a letter round to the parents of children in receipt of PP on Thursday saying that as of 8th March all children on PP will be expected to eat a hot meal at lunchtime. They are currently only offering a hot lunch to PP pupils no sandwich options these are for the none PP children only.

My DD doesn’t always like the options available and has a thing about the bread school use (she’s not a huge bread eater anyway) so a few times a week I send her with a packed lunch. This has never been a problem before and school will often get her a drink etc. from the dinner hall due to her PP status.

I emailed to ask if I could continue to send a packed lunch sometimes as I do now, and got a call from the school secretary to say they’ll call me tomorrow to discuss it but she didn’t think the head would budge because of problems in the local area with the FSM vouchers (they were appearing on Facebook being sold for more than their value and some parents claimed on those posts wasn’t their job to feed the kids during the school day so I can see the heads POV).

I will add here the hot meal is useful on the days DD eats it as she tends not to eat much when she gets home due to tiredness but I don’t want school or school meals to become an issue or battle so she stops having them all together.

AIBU or do I just have to suck it up?

itsgettingweird all reception, Y1 and Y2 pupils are entitled to universal infant free school meals. That's not the same as free school meals that are based on income. The former aren't entitled to FSM vouchers or PP unless they are also meet the eligibility criteria for the latter.

@amylou8

Do the school publish the menus in advance? If so then I can't she why she shouldn't have a hot dinner on the days she likes the food, and be sent with a packed lunch the days she doesn't. As long as she knows and is capable of remembering the lunch option for that day, and following the right proceedure to get the right lunch it would be a bit unreasonable of the school to challenge this. If there's no menu, or DD would get confused, then I'd just send a packed lunch everyday.

Dinner register is done in the morning so she doesn't need to remember her choice she just has to pick when the teacher asks.

@Alternista

I think in your shoes I would:

Fortify her breakfast with more calories

Send her in with a packed lunch every day with higher calorie options

Push dinner back a bit- are you really giving it to her at 3:30/4? Push it back to 5pm.

I'm sorry OP, I find it hard to believe that there is full health for a child who by your admission eats no more than a sandwich and then two bites of a sandwich at evening time.

@RootyT00t She's not having 2 lots of sandwiches, she has her hot meal at lunchtime at school then a sandwich at night. If she doesn't like any of the hot options at school I send her with a packed lunch and offer her a hot meal at night she won't eat it at night though.

@Alternista I tried pushing it back but the later it gets the less she eats. She's in bed by 6.30pm some nights and sleeps through without waking unless she's ill to 7am and generally I have to wake her up in the morning. I will give her a bigger breakfast definitely as thats when she's likely to eat the most.

She has a snack at school at 10am, usually a malt loaf and a piece of fruit plus milk. So it's literally the evening meal she struggles with.

At her last check up for her condition she was 110cm (smaller than average but her condition causes this) and weighed 18.5kg she was well within the healthy BMI category.

Could you keep her on school meals but send a packed lunch in too? Then if she doesn’t fancy the meal she can have her packed lunch, if she has the hot meal then she gets her packed lunch for tea instead?
I would hope that they would make some kind of provision for her and that way it is no skin off their nose which meal she eats and she will then at least eat something at lunchtime.

@Georgieporgie29

Could you keep her on school meals but send a packed lunch in too? Then if she doesn’t fancy the meal she can have her packed lunch, if she has the hot meal then she gets her packed lunch for tea instead? I would hope that they would make some kind of provision for her and that way it is no skin off their nose which meal she eats and she will then at least eat something at lunchtime.

I'll discuss that with them when they ring tomorrow, thats a great idea, she can always pick at the lunchbox for afternoon playtime if she's hungry.

DDs height and weight are fine, she's well within healthy there is no issue with the amount she eats at all.

It's not just the amount she eats, it is what she eats, if she's eating the tiny amount you describe then how is she getting the portions of protein, calcium and vitamins that she needs?

Malnourishment is not simply a lack of food, it's a lack of the right foods.

Right... But isn't this whole thread because you want to send her with a sandwich because she won't eat the hot meals?

OP, I have a child with a health condition too - his problems are with his oesophagus and he can only eat limited amounts of limited food. Eating is very tiring for him as he has to concentrate hard on chewing and swallowing, as well as drinking water after every bite.

I think posters questioning her eating habits mean well but perhaps do not understand.

I’m also a Pupil Premium lead at a primary school. I absolutely understand the school wanting children in receipt of PP to have hot dinners, but can not understand why they are providing it as an option only for them. In my experience some children in KS2 can be very embarrassed about having FSM and the last thing they would want is a visible marker of this.

Do they not get to choose? My son's primary school send through a three-weekly rotated meal plan and he chooses what he wants to have and we send in a cheque for that amount. We make packed lunches on the other days and they don't need to know until the day itself whether they will have packed lunch or school lunch. It sounds very rigid!

I would think that schools have enough to cope with at the moment without worrying about individuals I would think that a vast majority would prefer a hot meal.

DLA doesn't entitle a child to PP and PP doesn't automatically give entitlement to FSM so this makes no sense at all. If your child has additional needs they must make reasonable adjustments.

Interesting that a scheme which presumably was set up with the best of intentions is causing you angst. Obviously you don't need this assistance but maybe sitting down with the other children to eat a meal would be a positive experience.

Update:
The confusion was over DD sometimes having sandwiches and sometimes a hot meal. The school never wanted to force her to have the hot meal if she won’t eat it, but it’s a different company who provides the meals. Due to her conditions she falls under the “exception to the rule” category so as long as I carry on following the lunchbox rules that can’t be compromised (no nuts, no chocolate spreads, no home baked goods) then DD can have a hot lunch sometimes and a packed lunch others. Looking at the new menu they have a rolling 4 week menu and weeks 1 and 2 she eats at least 1 option everyday but on weeks 3 and 4 there’s 3 days where she won’t eat any option at all which could get confusing for her but we’ll see how she goes. Took so long to sort out as the lady who rang me (SENCo not the headteacher) wanted to check with the company who provides meals that some children won’t be having a meal even if PP.

All the children eat in their year groups at the moment alternating which classroom each day (2 classes per year) so DD will still get to eat with her friends whichever type of meal she’s on.