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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School forcing hot meal on pupil premium DCs?

63 replies

RedBlackCandle · 28/02/2021 16:23

My DD is 6, year 2. She has some additional needs and we’re going through the EHCP process right now. I am also a single parent with limited input from her DF (2 hours once a fortnight atm).

She gets pupil premium because she is in receipt of DLA and because of this over the lockdowns we’ve received FSM food vouchers. I haven’t actually needed to use them and have passed them onto friends who were struggling (with schools permission); I have a fairly decent job, get maintenance from ExH etc.

School sent a letter round to the parents of children in receipt of PP on Thursday saying that as of 8th March all children on PP will be expected to eat a hot meal at lunchtime. They are currently only offering a hot lunch to PP pupils no sandwich options these are for the none PP children only.

My DD doesn’t always like the options available and has a thing about the bread school use (she’s not a huge bread eater anyway) so a few times a week I send her with a packed lunch. This has never been a problem before and school will often get her a drink etc. from the dinner hall due to her PP status.

I emailed to ask if I could continue to send a packed lunch sometimes as I do now, and got a call from the school secretary to say they’ll call me tomorrow to discuss it but she didn’t think the head would budge because of problems in the local area with the FSM vouchers (they were appearing on Facebook being sold for more than their value and some parents claimed on those posts wasn’t their job to feed the kids during the school day so I can see the heads POV).

I will add here the hot meal is useful on the days DD eats it as she tends not to eat much when she gets home due to tiredness but I don’t want school or school meals to become an issue or battle so she stops having them all together.

AIBU or do I just have to suck it up?

OP posts:
Original poster
RedBlackCandle · 28/02/2021 17:37

DDs height and weight are fine, she's well within healthy there is no issue with the amount she eats at all.

The problem I can see is if they insist shes on hot meals then there will be days where she eats nothing between snack time at 10am and 6am the next day which to me is worse for her because there is literally neither of the options she will eat and she refuses school sandwiches even if they were an option. Example one day they have Jacket Potatos and Pizza. She doesn't like either so she'd go without that day.

Then if she were to have a packed lunch everyday she's likely to lose weight, we had this problem last year when she returned with no hot meals being offered June and July, she lost 2kg in weight which isn't a huge amount but you could see it on her, I ended up picking her up at lunchtime most days as she wasn't allowed to come and go. Which I'm worried I'll have to do again if they insist it's one or the other.

OP posts:
UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 28/02/2021 17:39

Lots of the catering companies are only being provided with one meat option and one veggie option per day.
This is happening at the school I work at. The kitchen will only receive a weekly delivery with the options not the numerous options they used to have. Some are even struggling to provide for allergies or diets such as halal.

Original poster
RedBlackCandle · 28/02/2021 17:40

@UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter

Lots of the catering companies are only being provided with one meat option and one veggie option per day. This is happening at the school I work at. The kitchen will only receive a weekly delivery with the options not the numerous options they used to have. Some are even struggling to provide for allergies or diets such as halal.
I think I just have to accept she'll be on half days again as she would literally rather starve than eat something she doesn't like and a packed lunch no matter what I put in it won't sustain her especially.
OP posts:
MyLittleOrangutan · 28/02/2021 17:43

Could they be concerned that you meant, can you keep getting vouchers to send her packed lunch in? Maybe make it clear you dont want subsidising to provide packed lunches.

Original poster
RedBlackCandle · 28/02/2021 17:45

@MyLittleOrangutan

Could they be concerned that you meant, can you keep getting vouchers to send her packed lunch in? Maybe make it clear you dont want subsidising to provide packed lunches.
Possibly, I'll see who rings tomorrow and discuss it. I don't want the vouchers or need them.

Those who said they're surprised I was allowed to give them away, I had to prove I wasn't selling them and prove I was still providing food to my DD. I also was only allowed to give them to DCs at the school not anyone else so they were quite strict on it,

OP posts:
HettieHelvetica · 28/02/2021 17:49

For those of you asking why vouchers would sell for above face value, it's not entirely unusual. It's a way for people to access their PayPal balance and turn it in to currency they can spend in shops without it having to pass through their bank accounts.

2bazookas · 28/02/2021 17:49

Is there any chance of just using this as an opportunity for her to learn a coping skill? " If there's something on the plate you don't like,
leave it; you can eat something that's not touching it". Practice at home with foods that touch on the plate. Possibly ask the school to help by serving her plate with foods not touching; or excluding the thing she won't eat.

AtSwimTwoBerts · 28/02/2021 17:49

I don't get threads like these. The HT is calling you to talk about it, at which point presumably you will find out exactly what who and why. I expect there is an entirely sensible rationale for whatever changes are being made.
Why not wait for that conversation instead of posting here without the info and having endless pages of people without a clue frothing over this and that?

Sbk28 · 28/02/2021 17:52

I feel like there must be a misunderstanding here.

Perhaps the secretary thought you were asking about her having school sandwiches, which it sounds like they're not providing. Probably to make it easier for kitchen staff.

Surely there can't be any problem with her having a packed lunch?

itsgettingwierd · 28/02/2021 17:56

I thought all infant school children got FSM?

Woolff · 28/02/2021 17:57

I'm sure they'll let her eat her packed lunch if it's there, and provide hot lunch if not.

To those saying it's discriminatory to offer different food to different DC, it's likely that this is done to benefit the PP DC, not disadvantage them!

Many children from very low income families will rely on eating their school meal as a main meal each day, not having sandwich or snack.

However, due to Covid restrictions on canteens and kitchens, many schools offered NO hot food for a time, and only limited amounts of hot food thereafter.

Of course it's right this is first offered to those who need it most.

RootyT00t · 28/02/2021 17:58

@Woolff

I'm sure they'll let her eat her packed lunch if it's there, and provide hot lunch if not.

To those saying it's discriminatory to offer different food to different DC, it's likely that this is done to benefit the PP DC, not disadvantage them!

Many children from very low income families will rely on eating their school meal as a main meal each day, not having sandwich or snack.

However, due to Covid restrictions on canteens and kitchens, many schools offered NO hot food for a time, and only limited amounts of hot food thereafter.

Of course it's right this is first offered to those who need it most.

It's not about it being discriminatory. It's about it singling children out as different.
RootyT00t · 28/02/2021 17:59

@RedBlackCandle

DDs height and weight are fine, she's well within healthy there is no issue with the amount she eats at all.

The problem I can see is if they insist shes on hot meals then there will be days where she eats nothing between snack time at 10am and 6am the next day which to me is worse for her because there is literally neither of the options she will eat and she refuses school sandwiches even if they were an option. Example one day they have Jacket Potatos and Pizza. She doesn't like either so she'd go without that day.

Then if she were to have a packed lunch everyday she's likely to lose weight, we had this problem last year when she returned with no hot meals being offered June and July, she lost 2kg in weight which isn't a huge amount but you could see it on her, I ended up picking her up at lunchtime most days as she wasn't allowed to come and go. Which I'm worried I'll have to do again if they insist it's one or the other.

I'm sorry OP, I find it hard to believe that there is full health for a child who by your admission eats no more than a sandwich and then two bites of a sandwich at evening time.
amylou8 · 28/02/2021 17:59

Do the school publish the menus in advance? If so then I can't she why she shouldn't have a hot dinner on the days she likes the food, and be sent with a packed lunch the days she doesn't. As long as she knows and is capable of remembering the lunch option for that day, and following the right proceedure to get the right lunch it would be a bit unreasonable of the school to challenge this. If there's no menu, or DD would get confused, then I'd just send a packed lunch everyday.

RootyT00t · 28/02/2021 18:00

And also the days where she has nothing at all.

ThePricklySheep · 28/02/2021 18:01

I don’t understand the obsession with hot food. A cheese sandwich is not nutritionally inferior to macaroni cheese, for example.
It’s about getting a mixture of food that they will eat. That will get the most nutrition into her.

WhoStoleMyCheese · 28/02/2021 18:04

Don't understand all this half FSM - if you don't need it can't you just refuse the vouchers?
To be able to turn your nose up at food is a privilege (barring specific allergies/school having only one food option).

toocold54 · 28/02/2021 18:06

Yanbu but I will say as I switched our son to packed lunches our school were equally snippy about swapping between the two

It will most likely because she’s switching between the two.
This happened at my DCs school - most days were healthy cooked meals which none of them liked so brought pack lunches and then on Fridays it was junk food so everyone had school dinners. The school said they need to know numbers of who’s having oval lunch and school dinners else there’s a lot of waste or not enough to go around.

They will probably need to be more strict on it now with Covid too. Just phone them and say she won’t be having FSM anymore and will be bringing her pack lunch everyday instead.

RootyT00t · 28/02/2021 18:06

@ThePricklySheep

I don’t understand the obsession with hot food. A cheese sandwich is not nutritionally inferior to macaroni cheese, for example. It’s about getting a mixture of food that they will eat. That will get the most nutrition into her.
Of course there is a difference between cheese and bread and pasta with a sauce (and tomatoes, etc)

I don't disagree with the second point but a sandwich and then a sandwich later in the day is not a mixture

RootyT00t · 28/02/2021 18:08

@WhoStoleMyCheese

Don't understand all this half FSM - if you don't need it can't you just refuse the vouchers? To be able to turn your nose up at food is a privilege (barring specific allergies/school having only one food option).
No. And even though in this case OP has been given permission to , they shouldn't be going to other people.
Sunisinthesky · 28/02/2021 18:10

Our school recently encouraged everyone entitled to FSM to take up the hot option because they would struggle to keep providing it otherwise. I assume economically its easier if numbers are higher. There was no forcing though.

Jumpers268 · 28/02/2021 18:11

I really don't understand? Not sure if I'm being stupid though. Why would school be forcing her to have school dinner, rather than a packed lunch that you pay for and that she'll eat? With my son's school they give a list of what school dinner will be available each day for the whole term. I then star off any I think my son will attempt to eat and give it directly to his teacher. On the other days I provide a packed lunch. It's never been an issue....

Alternista · 28/02/2021 18:14

I think in your shoes I would:

Fortify her breakfast with more calories

Send her in with a packed lunch every day with higher calorie options

Push dinner back a bit- are you really giving it to her at 3:30/4? Push it back to 5pm.

AtSwimTwoBerts · 28/02/2021 18:16

I really don't understand? Not sure if I'm being stupid though. Why would school be forcing her to have school dinner, rather than a packed lunch that you pay for and that she'll eat?

You're not being stupid. OP doesn't have a clue why, or even if, since she hasn't bothered to wait to have a conversation about the details of it before posting here

Paquerette · 28/02/2021 18:19

@ThePricklySheep

I don’t understand the obsession with hot food. A cheese sandwich is not nutritionally inferior to macaroni cheese, for example. It’s about getting a mixture of food that they will eat. That will get the most nutrition into her.
I agree.

Not much difference between a cheese sandwich and cherry tomatoes/cheese pizza/pasta with tomato sauce and cheese. With kids the pizza and pasta are least likely to be eaten due to being gloopy/lukewarm/over cooked.

I think that it's more about the individual nutrients than whether the food is hot or cold.