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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu and nosey or thoughtful and caring?

73 replies

AprilThe8th · 28/02/2021 13:47

Bit of a long one.

This morning I saw ambulance responder car and police car outside the neighbours house opposite.This worried me as an elderly couple live there who I'm on hello terms with.
I messaged our friends who live next door to them and asked if everyone was OK and they reply saying we don't know but will try to find out as we're worried too.
Couple of mins later they messaged back "he's died " which was awful news.I decided to send a card to the neighbour via moonpig as I wanted her to know we were thinking of her,chose 2nd class option so wouldn't arrive too soon.
After I'd sent the card I messaged the other neighbour to double check the house number as its not visible (something I should have done before sending obviously but I seconded guessed myself)

Neighbour replies oh it wasn't Mary and Joseph it was their neighbour on the other side that's died sorry if any confusion! So then frantically trying to urgently cancel with moon pig so my neighbour doesn't get a bizarre bereavement card for a husband who's probably sat next to her as she opens it!

I think I've learnt a lesson today to say the least!

OP posts:
Elouera · 28/02/2021 13:54

Your intentions were caring and thoughtful for a neighbour, BUT, I wouldnt have suddenly ordered a card online minutes after getting a text!

For context, we only recently moved house, so only know our neighbours casually when they walk their dogs, a goodmorning and a wave etc or a brief chat. Our neighbour lost their disabled son some weeks ago, which we just found out about. I never considered having a card delivered to them! I bought a card, wrote on it myself, bought a small potted plant and delivered it in person (keeping socially distant). It felt more thoughtful and personal than a an online card that isnt ever signed!

Original poster
AprilThe8th · 28/02/2021 13:57

I know and I don't usually order online.I did sign the card though through personalisation option on the site

OP posts:
Elouera · 28/02/2021 13:59

Is there a reason you wouldnt just hand deliver it?

FenceSplinters · 28/02/2021 14:00

Did you manage to cancel it?

AndOffFlewMyLastFuck · 28/02/2021 14:05

Oh shit

Thesheerrelief · 28/02/2021 14:07

Sounds like an odd overreaction on your part. Nice to be considerate, which i think was your aim, but all the queries and dashing to do an online card within minutes seems OTT. Lockdown is doing funny things to everyone though.

Snowymcsnowsony · 28/02/2021 14:08

Last year I did put a Sympathy card through the wrong door! Even rang dd at work as she had also liked the lady.

Oops.
They reposted it to the right door next door!! Nothing said!! And I never let in!

Original poster
AprilThe8th · 28/02/2021 14:08

No reason not to hand deliver I was browsing online as the message saying he died came through so just I'd try moonpig.Yes I cancelled it thank god!

OP posts:
Original poster
AprilThe8th · 28/02/2021 14:14

Lockdown is seriously accountable! What an idiot

OP posts:
diddl · 28/02/2021 14:29

At least you managed to cancel.

Could have been worse, Op-you might have had a card in a drawer & delivered it before you got the 2nd message...

Keepcountingyourfingers · 28/02/2021 14:36

Blimey that was far too quick off the mark.

Bluntness100 · 28/02/2021 14:38

I think thr speedy texting and card sending without even checking reads a bit like you were kinda enjoying the drama. I suspect you know it too. Hence the thread..

Original poster
AprilThe8th · 28/02/2021 14:39

I feel like such a dick tbh but ive given all my neighbours a giggle at least

OP posts:
Aprilx · 28/02/2021 14:42

Well I am glad you managed to contact it, but I think you were being over the top ordering a card on the back of a text saying “he’s died”.

Original poster
AprilThe8th · 28/02/2021 14:48

I know April god knows what I was thinking

OP posts:
ParkheadParadise · 28/02/2021 14:50

I had several neighbours come out to clean their cars when the police were at my house for hours when dd died.
They probably had a conversation between them and one approached my brother when he was outside smoking to ask what was wrong.
I received one card which they all signed and flowers several days later. I do like my neighbours😂. We live on a cul-de-sac.
It's a bit weird that your first thought was to go on Moonpig for a card.

WorraLiberty · 28/02/2021 14:52

@AprilThe8th

I feel like such a dick tbh but ive given all my neighbours a giggle at least
It wouldn't make me giggle.

I'd be wondering why you got your neighbour to do your work for you and why (when you'd found out who died and what number they lived at yourself), you didn't just pop a card through.

It comes across as though you wanted to be 'first' to send one for some reason.

Original poster
AprilThe8th · 28/02/2021 14:56

Don't read too much into it @WorraLiberty it wasn't like that at all

OP posts:
dworky · 28/02/2021 15:01

It would give me a laugh even if I were the 'deceased'.

Original poster
AprilThe8th · 28/02/2021 15:07

@dworky at least you can see the humour in it all

OP posts:
SchrodingersImmigrant · 28/02/2021 15:12

Did you order a card before they even took the body away😱 It aounds pike that and if yes, that's very wtf and not cute at all😱

UhtredRagnarson · 28/02/2021 15:12

Eeesh. This gives me a sticky feeling.

SillyLittleBiscuit · 28/02/2021 15:14

I have to warn you that I cancelled a moon pig card about 20 second after I’d bought it once and it was still delivered.

Original poster
AprilThe8th · 28/02/2021 15:16

I spoke to someone on live chat who assured me it had been cancelled

OP posts:
HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 28/02/2021 15:22

You seem drawn to drama and wanting to be perceived as kind,thoughtful
Hence the rush to purchase a card so promptly.