Aibu and nosey or thoughtful and caring?

[AprilThe8th]

Bit of a long one.

This morning I saw ambulance responder car and police car outside the neighbours house opposite.This worried me as an elderly couple live there who I'm on hello terms with.
I messaged our friends who live next door to them and asked if everyone was OK and they reply saying we don't know but will try to find out as we're worried too.
Couple of mins later they messaged back "he's died " which was awful news.I decided to send a card to the neighbour via moonpig as I wanted her to know we were thinking of her,chose 2nd class option so wouldn't arrive too soon.
After I'd sent the card I messaged the other neighbour to double check the house number as its not visible (something I should have done before sending obviously but I seconded guessed myself)

Neighbour replies oh it wasn't Mary and Joseph it was their neighbour on the other side that's died sorry if any confusion! So then frantically trying to urgently cancel with moon pig so my neighbour doesn't get a bizarre bereavement card for a husband who's probably sat next to her as she opens it!

I think I've learnt a lesson today to say the least!

Also I don't know why, if you were so mortified by your mistake, you have told us all in great detail

AprilThe8th

Noone is a grieving widow,he lived alone.

who were you sending the card to then?
😂😂😂😂

Why shouldn't I put it on here? Many put worse on here

@lockdown I thought the person I was sending it to was the wife of the deceased

It just smacks of attention seeking behaviour

OP there hasn't been any vitriol. You asked if you were BU and nosey. Yes you were! Never mind, time to move on

Also seconding another poster, I've cancelled an order with a company who sent it anyway as originally planned!

@FunTimes definitely and I will do

@Parkhead I've just answered that

I've just looked on Moonpig
Sympathy cards come in
Standard, Large and Giant
😂😂😂
Please tell me you ordered a GIANT one 😂😂😂😂

This is a classic "it's AIBU so I can be an absolute cunt to the OP" thread.

I think what you did was really odd. If you were thoughtful and caring it might have occurred to you to give the bereaved person some time to absorb their loss rather than ordering a card when the ambulance has barely pulled out .

When someone dies suddenly (or even if it’s expected) it often doesn’t seem “real” to their loved ones straight away so your card landing on the mat the next day might not have quite the effect you imagined. They don’t actually need to be informed immediately that someone they barely know is thinking of them, I mean so what? Really unless you’re someone they actually know calling with a card and offer of practical support or a listening ear, then you should have waited a few days. To be in that much of a rush to get a card off suggests your actions were more about how you like to see yourself, than consideration of your (as it turns out not) bereaved neighbour. It just seems distasteful.

@ParkheadParadise

I've just looked on Moonpig Sympathy cards come in Standard, Large and Giant 😂😂😂 Please tell me you ordered a GIANT one 😂😂😂😂

😂😂😂

OP you sound like my cousin, who put up a RIP message to my mum on Facebook before anyone had told me she'd passed away.

When I called her out on it her excuse was that she "loved her auntie".

Grief tourism. That’s what they call it I think.

@RoxieMalone

OP you sound like my cousin, who put up a RIP message to my mum on Facebook before anyone had told me she'd passed away.

When I called her out on it her excuse was that she "loved her auntie".

Oh that's awful

Some people love to tell everyone they are the first to know. Strange.

Ok, so he lived alone, so no widow that you know of. That doesn't mean that he doesn't have family that are potentially grieving for him, or don't even know he's died yet, as your first thought was to go online and get a card printed to say you know he's died. I'm not really sure what responses you were hoping to get from this post to be honest?

I have to warn you that I cancelled a moon pig card about 20 second after I’d bought it once and it was still delivered

Came here to say this. I spoke to someone who said they couldn't be cancelled.

It takes organisational skills to a new level.

@Emeraldshamrock

It takes organisational skills to a new level.

It would take organisational skill to new level had she correctly identified who’d just died Unfortunately she got that wrong The organisational skill employed was calling moonpig to cancel the condolences card

Moonpig is so impersonal, I don't like it.

@RoxieMalone

OP you sound like my cousin, who put up a RIP message to my mum on Facebook before anyone had told me she'd passed away.

When I called her out on it her excuse was that she "loved her auntie".

Bloody hell that's horrible, sorry about your mum

Yeah just to let you know, just last week I ordered a card from moonpig. Cancelled online within a few hours, I even said to the online chat man that I didn't even need my money back, I just needed assured the card was cancelled. He assured me that yes it was and I got a full refund. It still arrived