Aibu to think this is not ok?

[User3gg]

Backstory - dp and I had a disagreement. Made up this morning, moving on.

Messing around in the kitchen, joking and I flicked water at him.

Sometime later he pulled me in for a cuddle, I laughed, said no you’re going to do something. He assured me not, pulled me in and smashed an egg on my head.

I reacted, sobbed and ran away to clean up.

He thinks I over reacted and insists it was a joke retaliation to my water flicking.

He has since apologised that it hurt (he had to smash it pretty hard) but won’t admit it was wrong to do it.

YABU - it was an egg, get over it
YANBU - this was not funny

I dont see how smashing an egg on your head, which of course you would bloody feel, is in any way in the same league as flicking water. It just isnt. The consequences are simply not the same either. One you can do nothing. One takes major cleaning.

And you were there and you think it had more to do with the argument. Trust you own instincts.

Go and smash an egg on his head. Tell him you're helping him build his empathy.

OP,

The relationship bar on MN is very, very low for many.

Lots of differing views.

I would suggest you think about the relationship and life you want for yourself.

He has refused to accept that he hurt you, and upset you.

Is this the type of relationship you want?.

IMO it was a very aggressive disproportionate response.

A bit of water, and he smashed an egg on your head.

IMO a huge escalation.

He hurt you, that is key.

The fact he used an egg isn't important.

By all means talk yourself down.

Women do it all the time when they get that first shove.

He has physically hurt.
That is what he has done.
He doesn't accept that.

You have a choice to be in a relationship when he hurt you sneakily after an earlier rift.
He got his earlier irritation towards you out of his system by smashing an egg on your head.
He hurt you and he upset you.

By all means let this be the type of relationship you have.

He has just shown you, he can physically hurt you.

And he will.

You made the link with the earlier argument, that is key.

Good luck.

I'm surprised by the vote on this. Flicking a bit of water when your hands are wet is a fairly normalish jokey thing to do. But cracking an egg on someone's head, wtf?! That is such a weird "joke" and for me definitely falls into the category of bullying dressed up as "it's only a joke".

The deciding factor for me is his reaction, if DH did something he thought I'd find funny, and I reacted by being upset instead, he'd be mortified he got it wrong and apologise, not chastise me that "it was only a joke" and turn it into my fault for not finding it hilarious

I agree with the pp that MN seems to have competitive low standards sometimes. I don't believe for one minute that most of the posters saying it's no big deal would find it funny if someone smashed an egg on their head. It's a childish, stupid thing to do that creates mess and the need for a shower, not to mention the fact your husbands hand came into contact with your head He sounds like a total idiot.

Are you the same poster who was okay fighting before and then sobbed because his slap was harder than expected. The wording was almost the same. Seriously stop the "jokes ". Someone invariably takes it too far.

I think it depends on the relationship. Abusive cunt ex would do things like this (just remembered him chucking me in a full bath when I was fully clothed). But he was a sadistic, narcissistic cunt.

DH and I often do stupid stuff to each other (squirty cream is now banned

FFS hit post too soon.

Squirty cream is now banned in the house after we covered the kitchen in it one night.

So context and history are a lot I think. I'd be annoyed at the unnecessary shower, but I certainly wouldn't be sobbing.

(

I hate these kind of stupid jokes

but "sobbing"? you are being ridiculous.

Some people find it "hilarious" to smash some cake in their face on their wedding day. I don't get it at all, but there's something "funny" about it for some apparently. It's clearly not malicious.

Just as stupid as the "cake smash" photoshoots, even if you don't smash it in the baby's face yourself.

not to mention the fact your husbands hand came into contact with your head

no need to exaggerate either
😂
it's stupid but hardly physical abuse.

If it hasn't physically hurt I would find that funny. Maybe he misjudged.

@Ameliablue

A bit of water can just be brushed off but an egg on your head you would need to head to the showers. It's a whole other level and uncalled for.

This. It's not remotely similar. Not OK.