To ask you to please tell me it gets better

[PleaseLetMeSleeeeep]

My son (3 weeks) is suffering really badly with colic. His trapped wind is awful and he just can't sleep at all. This is the 3rd night in a row I'll have sat up in the living room rocking him until 5/6am (he's bad every night but the past 3 have been ridiculous).

I don't know how to do this, I am so unbelievably tired.

I took him to the GP today to check nothing else was wrong but just got a sympathetic 'its common' and sent on my way.

He looks like he's in so much pain, will only settle on me sat upright. I am terrified of falling asleep with him on me I'm so tired.

Every time I think he's finally dropped off he wakes again the minute he's lay down in his basket.

It does get better and you will look back on this as a blur. Is he formula fed? Could it possibly be allergy rather than colic?

Back to the gp or hV.

Could be colic, could be silent reflux.

Infant gaviscon, infacol, both worth a shot initially then go from there.

Dd is nine weeks and was like this. Infacol did not work, gaviscon did for BF only but she is mixed fed and is now comfort milk for top ups.

It was like torture. But yes, it passes.

@brokengate

Back to the gp or hV.

Could be colic, could be silent reflux.

Infant gaviscon, infacol, both worth a shot initially then go from there.

Dd is nine weeks and was like this. Infacol did not work, gaviscon did for BF only but she is mixed fed and is now comfort milk for top ups.

He is on both of these already Dr didn't seem interested in the idea it could be an allergy. Apparently there would be more symptoms than just the trapped wind he's got.

Going to shops as soon as they open to try the comfort milk 😣 (he's FF).

I feel terrible because sometimes I just have to let him cry for 10 minutes in his basket so I can close my eyes before I end up falling asleep with him on me.

There isn't really any such thing as colic; it's just a generic term for when babies cry for no obvious reason. There's no evidence it's gastrointestinal.

But of course it gets better; they don't stay babies forever.

I’m sorry. It will get better and he will be OK. I’m not sure what to say but I remember what it’s like to not sleep and although I don’t think my baby was in pain, he didn’t sleep or let me put him down, it’s exhausting. Sending you 💐
It will get better.

Oh gosh I remember those days. It does change and it changes rapidly, but it doesn’t seem quite as rapid at the time.

Whatever safe tactics you need to get through are fine.

If it is silent reflux, that only ever seems to have been diagnosed privately amongst people I know, so if you suspect that, and can afford to throw the money at it, consider that.

My middle child had colic every evening for six hours until five months old and that was quite enough. I divorced during that pregnancy, but if you have a partner or bubbled relative, ask for help.

Hang n. Try everything.

@rosiejaune

There isn't really any such thing as colic; it's just a generic term for when babies cry for no obvious reason. There's no evidence it's gastrointestinal.

But of course it gets better; they don't stay babies forever.

I can tell that this is trapped wind. He's in obvious pain with it too, it's so distressing to watch and there be nothing I can do it's horrible.

He writhes around and goes rigid like a block of wood bright red and sweating until he releases wind finally. But it can take hours for it to come out and no amount of back patting, rubbing, stomach massages, leg cycling, tiger holds or infacol seems to be helping.

Dr just said its colic, printed me off a leaflet and waved me off.

I just want to help him

"No such thing as colic"

My cousin worked in endoscopy, if they couldn't "see" the gut due to too many gas bubbles they put down (the nhs version) infacol.

She said you could literally see the bubbles popping.

So, based on an eye witness account, I'd say there is such a thing as colic.

You have my sympathy, the early days are tough .

I survived by wearing my ds in a ring sling , virtually 24/7 , at least we both managed to sleep!!

I recall this like it was yesterday, and feel for you so much. Sleep deprivation is brutal and shocking. It sounds like you are doing everything right, well done you for hanging on in there.
I found just 'giving up' for a while sort of helped, just stopping having any expectations of how much sleep I ought to be getting or when, or indeed where, said sleep should occur. I set myself and DC1 up in the spare room with everything I would need to pass waking nights in cosy comfort (and not have to worry about waking DP -DC1 ebf), had a soft night light, drinks and snacks on hand, nappy changing stuff within reach, got really into MN, Audible and some brainless games on my phone, and just hung on in there through the nights until things got easier.
I gave myself permission to delegate most household jobs to DP, or just not bother; it could wait! I would literally grab sleep whenever there was even the slightest window; if DC1 fell asleep in the car on the way home from the supermarket, I'd pull over and sleep for 20 minutes in a lay by, kind of thing. It was such a relief to let go of expectations of 'normal life' and suspend 'regular function' in favour of just getting through what can be an incredibly tough time in as much comfort as possible. Best wishes to you, OP! It really gets better.
(Ironically, I am awake now because same DC, now 10, has been having nightmares this week...)

Comfort milk was a game changer for both my kids. With infacol it really sorted things out. Good luck op, hopefully it’s soon sorted 💐💐💐

I had this with DC1. It was awful. The sleep deprivation was on another level. I now have a DC2. He doesn't have the same problem, but won't be put down, so I'm extremely tired again. It does get better. You will sleep again and at some point your baby will sleep through the night. Hang on in there xx

I know you've mentioned massage, but I think that did help DD when she was tiny although it wasn't immediate. I did it 3-5 times a day and tell myself it helped her immature digestive system whilst it was figuring out how to work! Hopefully something will provide relief sharpish.

I remember the wake ups as soon as you put them down. DD still wakes up when I put her down now (7 months) but thankfully sleeps well at nighttime and isn't in pain, she just likes cuddles. It's terrifying when you're so earth shatteringly tired and they're in pieces unable to be consoled. I hope you can get some rest soon x

You poor thing.
My colicky baby is 21 now but I still remember those hideous early weeks of him crying and us being desperate.

Cycling his legs helped occasionally (plus the usual massage and back rubs) and strapping him to me in a sling soothed him sometimes too.

Heaps of sympathy. This too shall pass.

I feel for you. Mine was like this too. Comfort milk really helped as did baby massage. Cycling their legs helps burst the pesky wind bubbles. Am afraid I can't remember what age this was OK from though, I do remember winding mine using a U shape on their back though. But as others have said. It will pass. We both had to have iv antibiotics which apparently causes much gas. Didn't know that until after the fact. It will get better though.

One other thing, I learnt to have a nappy loose in between us when cycling legs. Sometimes it's helps too much!

Hi, yes it does improve but no one can say how quickly. Possibly around 3 months. My DD was a lot better at 4 months. My DS went on until about a year, it was solid food that made a difference.

One idea, if you can get the baby sleeping in a sling in the daytime it might help you.

Both my babies struggled with trapped wind and DS had reflux and vomited after every feed if I lay him down. So hard. It could take ages to burp my DD, and it was brutal doing it in the nights, but if I didn't she would be in so much pain.

I ended up bed sharing with both my babies, just me in the bed (DH in spare room) with no duvet for safety, but my kids were EBH so I didn't have to get up to make up bottles and learned to barely wake up for feeds. Bottle fed babies tend to wake up far less often at night which compensates, and as you are wide awake from making the bottle up, getting up to burp the baby is less disruptive.

. It is absolutely shattering. Just make this your sole focus and accept any help you are offered eg friends or family dropping off meals, partner taking baby for a few hours on a weekend so you can sleep.

We had this for few weeks, it was horrible to see. Baby was on formula, the only thing that helped was colief drops. She was like a different baby once we started giving her the drops in her milk

Currently at 20weeks with my first and she was exactly the same in the very early weeks, its horrible to watch! We swapped to comfort milk and used infacol but we've recently swapped to gripe water which we think is better, shes still windy but is managing so much better so hang in there, i never thought we would see the end of it either! We were also advised to feed her as upright as possible and tried different things like pausing through the bottle vs allowing her to drink until shes done, chasing the wind vs keeping her upright and waiting for her to work it out, tummy time helps bring it up which i noticed a bit later on than 3 weeks, and a nice warm bath in the evenings definitely helps her to relax! Youll get there!

It definitely gets better. My oldest is turning 7 in a couple of weeks, but I still remember the nights I spent floating up and down the hallways like a zombie trying to get him to sleep for the 5millionth time at night. He ended up having an intolerance to cows milk - something that wasn't picked up by the GP, and was only ever noticed when i called the HV sobbing in desperation for help.

My youngest is 3, and was an easier baby, but struggled so badly with her wind. Colief helped, along with taking breaks 3 or 4 times during a bottle to burp her rather than waiting for the end of a bottle. A warm bath also helped get the wind moving a bit too.

We also split night shifts somewhat evenly, even though DH was working full time and I was on maternity - I needed to sleep too, and trotting off to the office was arguably easier than wrangling a sleepless baby all day, so it's only fair he did he share of the constantly being awake bit. I like to go to bed early, so I used to go to bed at about 8pm and DH would cover the first part of the night until about 1ish which is when he usually goes to bed anyway. Then I would take over from them while DH slept. Then on a weekend we would each take a full night shift each so the other could get a beautiful, wonderful FULL nights sleep. When things started to get a little easier, and a sleep pattern began to establish, I found it easier to do the night shifts myself, although DH did one every few nights to give me a break.

Both my babies have been like this first was CMPA and undiagnosed tounge tie. Second i had the tounge tie cut and moved to dairy free formula saw improvements of 80% in the wind. Now 10 weeks and we get a build up once or twice a day but it's not the soul destroying constant pain. unfortunately in my experience I was told by the NHS that neither of my babies had a tounge tie also advised that they won't treat tie in bottle fed babies only breast. A private lactation consultant will be able to diagnose and treat tounge tie for you they are experts in both bottle and breast feeding, my daughter couldn't open her mouth wide enough to form a seal around the bottle which meant excessive air was being swallowed. I feel for you it is the worse thing in the world seeing your baby in pain all day Plus the sleep deprivation.

We also split the night shift DP does 8-12/1 so I get a few hours uninterrupted rest. Good luck take each day at a time accept any help that is offered by family and friends and sleep when baby sleeps even if it's just half an hour.

It definitely gets better, I remember the colicky days. Ours lasted for about 2 months but after that it was easier.

It does get better but take care of your own mental health. Do you have a partner to help you? Speak to your gp again or the hv for advice.

Sympathies, my DS was like this for first few weeks. Infacol helped. By 6 weeks I was in a better feeding routine & put him down to sleep at night, I think he was knackered but couldn't switch off which didn't help.
Also avoid spicy food / stuff that gives you wind if breast feeding. It will definitely pass , take it easy in the meantime.

Re bedtime: Put him in the basket, keep your hand lightly on him for reassurance but don't pick up if he's not distressed . are you in a dark room? Keep everything quiet and calm & try and see if he'll settle himself.