To ask you to please tell me it gets better

[PleaseLetMeSleeeeep]

My son (3 weeks) is suffering really badly with colic. His trapped wind is awful and he just can't sleep at all. This is the 3rd night in a row I'll have sat up in the living room rocking him until 5/6am (he's bad every night but the past 3 have been ridiculous).

I don't know how to do this, I am so unbelievably tired.

I took him to the GP today to check nothing else was wrong but just got a sympathetic 'its common' and sent on my way.

He looks like he's in so much pain, will only settle on me sat upright. I am terrified of falling asleep with him on me I'm so tired.

Every time I think he's finally dropped off he wakes again the minute he's lay down in his basket.

Oh and also little remedies organic gripe water.

Look into cow's milk protein allergy. Don't let HVs and GPs fob you off if things aren't improving.

I promise you it does get better, when you find the root cause.

@Ilovecoffee2

We had this for few weeks, it was horrible to see. Baby was on formula, the only thing that helped was colief drops. She was like a different baby once we started giving her the drops in her milk

Absolutely this!! My DS (now age 3) used to scream for 8hrs a night, colic, reflux, trapped wind. I felt genuinely suicidal at times and regretted having him. He was mix fed and I bought Colief drops to put in his nightly bottle. It was like flicking a switch, from that very first night he was a completely different baby! They're expensive but I'd have paid double.

They also make powders for colic. Nelsons Colica. We found it really helped.

My first son was like this.
He screamed day and night. It was absolutely awful.
I vividly remember crying down the phone to the gp after numerous appointments and being waved off. We even had him in the hospital but they declared I was "a young mum and just finding it hard."
It was that one phone call, when he was 2 months old, that changed things. They listened to me. Instead of being told its colic, or offered gaviscon, they gave me formula milk. Nutramogen.
After 1 week on this my little boy had done a 180. He smiled, he slept better, and he wasn't in pain.
I would be careful when changing formula to comfort. I changed his milk a few times before the nutramogen, and found that it made things worse. He would scream straight after a bottle. Probably because those milks are thicker and if it is cows milk protein allergy, its going to be harder on their systems to cope with.

Youve my full sympathy. Sleep deprivation is the worst. But do know there is hope. Do not let them send you off with nothing. Try the nutramogen (it smells like dog food but it works!!)

Oh OP. It does get better, but while you're in it it's hell on earth.

For us it was silent reflux, and your posts about your baby needing to be upright are screaming silent reflux to me so have a look into it. There's a whole load of symptoms and I can't remember them all now, but things like hiccuping that you wouldn't necessarily think of. DD used to sleep overnight in her bouncer at the worst, so no judgement here at all re the car seat!

If it is silent reflux, the infacol is likely making things worse so try a few feeds without it. Gaviscon doesn't always help and can cause constipation, so may end up swapping one problem for another. Ranitidine worked for us but I think it's unavailable now. It might be worth trying omeprazole or one of the other drugs. You'll need to go back to your GP for them. Stress that it's not about baby being sick or you not sleeping, the baby is in obvious pain and you want to try to solve that.

On the colic thing, there's a lot of misunderstanding about it. Colloquially, colic means trapped wind, which is real and causes babies real discomfort and pain. Officially, colic is just unexplained crying - for three hours a day, three days a week for three weeks. Well that's bullshit IMO. Babies don't cry like that for no reason, and they should be helped just as an adult in pain should be helped. Common reasons include trapped wind, reflux and milk allergy or intolerance. All of these can be helped if not always eliminated entirely and parents should be supported with that by medical professionals IMO, not just sent on their way with an unhappy, screaming baby to endure no sleep for weeks on end.

For us it was silent reflux, and your posts about your baby needing to be upright are screaming silent reflux to me so have a look into it. There's a whole load of symptoms and I can't remember them all now, but things like hiccuping that you wouldn't necessarily think of. DD used to sleep overnight in her bouncer at the worst, so no judgement here at all re the car seat!

Thank you, now you mention it, he does hiccup a lot! Almost after every feed really. He doesn't bring up much milk though.

The GP did give me gaviscon but I understand you can't take it with the comfort milk not sure which one to try properly first.

One thing I did notice last night was his usual nightly poo was very hard! So wondering whether the gaviscon I'd used the past couple of days has caused a bit of constipation as you say.

I've ordered some Colief thank you to those that recommended. Do you think it's okay to take alongside the comfort milk? I understand it reduces lactose and I know the CM is lactose reduced already.

I'd ring my HV (I still will) but tbh I felt judged last time just for using the infacol nevermind trying all this. I was told to try everything natural first, sitting him upright for feeds, cycling legs, various different holds etc... (as if I haven't been!!) And infacol should only be a very last resort.

I'll give the CM some time I think. I actually don't think his wind was as bad last night but he was still crying a lot. No writhing around or redness though, I don't think he was in pain last night in the same way as he has been which is good. Still crying though 😣

With silent reflux they don't really spit up, they have pain from the stomach acid coming up their oesophagus. With DD you could put her down fast asleep and then set your watch by the twenty minutes it would take to hear the fluid bubbling up her oesophagus and then she'd go from sleeping peacefully to screaming. I never understood how people could leave a baby to cry and see if they went back over, she just didn't have that setting! DD2 does and I get it now.

So my next question is... Anyone have any good box set recommendations to get me through the early hours?!

I've just been to the shop on a snack run and may have also picked up a few red bulls too 😂

I quite like thriller type programmes, murder mystery, psychological that sort of thing...?

My baby used to have a lot of trapped wind. The technique I found on this American antenatal video was when changing babies nappy, just press the part under the anus with one finger. Few gentle presses and it helps release gas and any trapped poo which saves them a few hours of pain. It worked well for us. I breastfed my baby but I still suspected silent reflux and cmpa. He does have cmpa (he's two now) x

@rosiejaune

There isn't really any such thing as colic; it's just a generic term for when babies cry for no obvious reason. There's no evidence it's gastrointestinal.

But of course it gets better; they don't stay babies forever.

This is just splitting hairs; yes, colic is just the term for excessive crying and yes this can have many causes, but gastrointestinal issues are most definitely real and one of the strongest theories for unsettled and colicky babies. Their digestive systems are brand new and passing gas and stools can be varying levels of difficult for them in the early weeks.

OP, you're doing brilliantly and yes, it does pass. I noticed improvement in all my babies from about 7/8 weeks and it gets easier and easier from there. And some days are worse than others of course. Keeping your baby upright in a sling as you go about your daily routine can help and walking of course.

@SarahFrances89.... This sounds very normal! All of my babies have been just like this in the early weeks!

I recommend you try Dr Browns baby bottles. Did the trick for my grandson. 😌

@Somethingsnappy thank you!!

My dc1 was like this for a phase early on, I found infacol worked well.

It will get better OP. It is insanely hard until then.

If you haven’t tried already, my best position for releasing baby’s trapped wind was me sitting down in chair, baby upright sitting on my right thigh facing my left thigh, my left hand supporting his chest and chin (so he’s kinda upright but kinda flopped forward and totally supported by the left arm), my right hand resting on his back/ generally supporting, and my right leg jiggling up and down v fast so he’s kinda bouncing and kinda vibrating. Seemed to work much better than the ofher positions for us.

Good luck xxx

Need some reassurance again this evening. I am DREADING tonight. I'm so tired.

The CM seems to have helped the wind, he no longer seems in pain but he still gripes and cries until 5/6am. It's honestly torture and I feel like it's all caught up with me today. I'm exhausted.

Sympathy!

We were under paediatric care for this, on the NHS. They said silent reflux.

1. Get a good, long box set for the evenings and watch it on low volume with the subtitles on. We paced back and forth holding ours upright and watched The Wire and The West Wing. I realise both are really long, but it made us feel better that we had something nice to do.
2. Eventually I just let her sleep on her stomach. I was desperate and it worked.
3. I cut out dairy and wheat from my diet (I breast fed). This worked, ultimately. I was so desperate I was happy to cut out my favourite foods. I realise you’re ff, OP, but is there something in this?

But mostly, just good luck. They do grow out of it and it’s fine.

Poor you, really sympathise. If you can afford it try an osteopath who specialises in babies; my Ds was the same and I took him to see one at around 8 weeks. It really was like a miracle, that night I put him down in his cot and he just fell asleep, I really could believe it.

Had this with DS1. Although he couldn’t be laid down for 45mins -1hr after a feed or he just used to vomit. So tbh, he spent a lot of time upright over my shoulder. Then he’d sleep on his side. Towels rolled up everywhere so he couldn’t roll onto his front. Old school but it worked. Took a while to be able to sleep on his back. We made it. I also used to go to bed very early as prep for the night. I’m also a light sleeper and his cot was right next to me so I heard instantly if there was an issue.
Did a rubbing back in circles motion with him sat on my knee, whilst my knee rocked back and forth. One hand on back, the other under his chin. Has worked on every baby I met since to get wind up.
Honestly the first 6 weeks or so? It gets better, I promise. Hang on in there

My son was like that. I slept upright with him on my chest for months. He threw up every single feed so was constantly hungry. He’s 22 now so it’s hard to remember. I do know he stopped being sick around a year old. Due to disabilities he’s never ever sleep through the night but that’s another story 😂

Week 3 is by far the worst - week 10-12 you’ll be in a routine, and it will just click. Honestly, you’ll have forgotten all about this stage in a couple of months.

Oof I remember it well and no it doesn't go on forever but it certainly feels like it. I found resting them over my shoulder useful, it seemed to take pressure off their bellies. Rest whenever you can, it doesn't go on forever xx

Do you have a partner or someone you are in a bubble with? If they can be awake to cuddle or sling the baby and you can get a couple of uninterrupted hours of sleep it will be brilliant. I didn't have much help with ds1, who was a terrible sleeper, so went to bed at 8 and just hoped that I could get some shut eye. It did get better and now it is impossible to wake him up, especially for school.