Single people, how big is your house?

[PandoraRocks]

Not being nosey just genuinely wondering if you are happy living in a house that convention dictates is too big for you.

This question was prompted by my DP who claims that my house is too big for me, I will lose money renovating it and I won't be able to afford to heat it. Apparently, a 2 bed bungalow would suit me better . What a cheek!

The house in question is inherited from my late parents and I've been living here for 3 years. Only heat a couple of rooms at present as it's electric heating. It has 3 bedrooms, a tiny box room, a lounge, kitchen, bathroom and garage. It is detached on a large plot of land. I may live here long term, I may sell it but surely that is up to ME. My parents weren't wealthy but worked damn hard all their lives and I know my mum wanted me to enjoy this place.
I don't have kids and don't cohabit.
This is my last chance to have a lovely house. Please don't tell me I should be unselfishly living in a flat so I can free up my house for a Millennial.
I also suspect my DP has his own motives for his ideas (backstory referred to elsewhere on Mnet).

For what it's worth, I'm self employed and need space. I also hope to entertain and have friends over once lockdown ends.
Do you think there is a societal expectation that single people should be happy with less?

Hahah there was me thinking it might be a massive 6 bed mansion then he might be onto something. 3 bed absolutely fine!

You enjoy it. If there's any surplus in your life, it sounds like it's the boyfriend. Keep a beady eye on his plans for your assets!
Your parents didn't work all their lives to provide that CF with a retirement plan. Whatever you do, don't let him move in. (Sex rarely feels as good as bricks and mortar in your own name! Especially sex from chaps who are planning retirement!)

I have a three bed Victorian house for just me.

Two bed terraced house, with two reception rooms, and a kitchen and bathroom. Plus a garden. Me and a cat living here. Making it mine. If a future partner passed judgement on my choices I’d tell them to do one.

Out if my single family and friends
My sister has a 4 bed detached and has lived there for 14 years
My friend has a large 3 bed semi ex council that she bought.
Another friend has a 4 bed detached bungalow that she bought about 6 years ago.
Another friend has a 3vbed over 3 floors mid terrace.
No one judges or cares what they have
It's
their home that they have bought or are buying.

YANBU. Live in as big (or small) a house as you like OP. It’s up to you and your money. And if it belonged to your parents I can see why you’d want to stay there.

Your DP sounds interfering and controlling. Is he always like that?

Your update makes it plain he's after your money, which is an excellent reason for binning him off. Your lack of a pension makes it doubly important to protect your assets.

Some people are just weird about others in big properties. A neighbour (4-bedroom house) complained to me about her new neighbours, a middle-aged childless couple, moving into a house with four bedrooms as selfish. Presumably it's all right for her to keep her bedrooms "in case" her children visit. She's now selling up to move nearer the children (who don't visit) while keeping a flat in town. So two dwellings are OK then. By the way, I don't care how many house/bedrooms she has, it's just her judging of others' needs that amazed me.Bizarre.

Back to singles. I'm widowed and live in a big four-bedroomed house with lots of garden, and my dog and i have no intention of moving.

When I was single my first house was a 3 bed semi.
Your house, your business.
Better investment to have a house that would have a wider appeal when it comes to selling.

Before I met DH I bought myself a project - little 2 bed bungalow 😂
Short of options at my price point and my major requirement was a driveway/own parking. I miss it so much!! That's not because of size though, it's because it was mine, I chose it, worked hard on it and current home was sort of foisted on me x

3 bed semi, and had an extension downstairs a few years ago. I use every room and couldn’t now live anywhere smaller and admiration for families who do live in 3 bed semis

@Sycamoretrees

May I be the first to tell you that your have a DP problem and not a house problem?

This. Absolutey

3 bedroom ground floor flat. I wanted extra space as I am disabled and inside pretty much all the time. It helped make lockdown a lot more bearable too. I have a bathroom, a kitchen, a living room, and then with the three bedrooms, the smallest is where I sleep, the second smallest is a storage room ( lots of craft supplies and boardgames, my wheelchair etc) and the biggest an office/games room.

I also wanted to future proof a bit so if I did have kids I wouldn't have to stress about moving right away.

I've lived in 1 bedroom flats before but I was miserable. I am much happier here and feel no guilt. The cats need space to run around and play too.

2 bed, 2 bath decent sized flat but i would like a 3rd bedroom/study now that wfh is more of a thing, and some outside space but that comes with a price tag close to a half million round here so at the moment I'm playing the location location location game.

You don't have a house problem, you have a shit boyfriend problem.

The DP would have liked me to sell this place when my mum was barely cold in her grave. He would love me to sell it so he would have the equity to put towards a new place. His own is a tiny shit pit on a busy road and needing so much money spending to make it vaguely habitable. He's been on at me for years about moving to the coast, or living in Spain, or moving to The South East, he hates it here (Wales). I just ignore it all. I laughed at the suggestion of a 2 bed bungalow - I've nothing against bungalows but I suspect that's his dream not mine.

Why the FUCK are you putting up with this? Seriously? He's after himself. He doesn't give a FUCK about you. This is none of his fucking business and you should have dumped him the first time he started banging on about your house.

Why on EARTH would you EVER consider selling a home your parents gave you to fund a boyfriend and his selfish desires?

I have a single friend who lives in a massive 3-bed house, two sitting rooms, an office area, even has an elevator shaft.

So what? She has a high-powered job, wealthy parents, she pays for it, it's none of my business where she lives.

And it's none of his. You laugh it off, you should be binning off.

your place sounds perfect, and it's lovely that it was your parents' house. It's up to you, please don't feel forced into selling.

I agree. I’d offload the ‘D’P instead.

OP, your spacious home gives you lots of options — big parties/reunions with everyone staying over, having friends to stay, lodgers, B&B, set up a commune, have a live-in carer when you’re old, or just enjoy the space with your moggie. Don’t throw away the legacy your parents workedto give you.

OP if you do decide to sell up and buy something new with your DP, make sure you only put the same amount of money into the new house as he does; all the extra you can invest/save/whatever in YOUR sole name.
This is your money, not his.

I shared flats or houses for years and was delighted when I graduated to a 2-bedroom flat with garden in my 30s. I sometimes had a friend or relative sharing with me, in which case visitors slept in the living room. Otherwise I used the second bedroom as an office/guest-room.

Now married, no DC, and we have a terrace house - our bedroom, livingroom, 2 offices and 1 guest-room.

Do you think there is a societal expectation that single people should be happy with less?

Yes, from some people, and it’s unjust, so please ignore it!

@IAcceptCookies

OP if you do decide to sell up and buy something new with your DP, make sure you only put the same amount of money into the new house as he does; all the extra you can invest/save/whatever in YOUR sole name. This is your money, not his.

Better yet, don't. EVER. You sound very happy in your home, OP. No man or relationship is worth giving that up for.

He would love me to sell it so he would have the equity to put towards a new place.

I hope that second ‘he’ was a mistake you meant to write, ‘we’!

Sorry, OP your house sounds lovely, but your boyfriend sounds like a dick!

Your "D"P sounds like a manipulative dick. I can't be bothered to try to find your other posts, but I'm presuming there will be more of the same. Dispose of him, not the house.

I'm not single now, when I was I lived in a 2 bedroom house, I used it all. It was nice, I sometimes miss the space and the quiet.

We have a big 4 bed but all our 4 adult children have flown the nest.
The middle son and partner have just had a baby after buying a beautiful, but tiny semi.
If I was ti out my house on the market he wouldn't be able to afford ti buy it!!!!
Same everywhere else.
There isn't a shortage of big family houses. There's plenty- starting bid £250,000.
Like pp said its 'affordable' housing.
It's the bigger houses that are 'usually' the ones that are slower to sell.

We still own my flat from when I was single, its huge. One bedroom that could easily be divided into two, two large reception rooms , bathroom and balcony. No garden though. But its in the centre of Bath.
Used to rent it out, but had couple of bad tenants, urs mortgage free and family use it often.