AIBU to be a little upset with this?

[Lillylolo]

Went to in laws family party pre lockdown (when we were allowed gatherings)

DH grandfather gave my brother in law money to get us all drinks (our table) brother in law got everyone a drink except me. Saying to DH there wasn’t enough. I didn’t make a big deal of it and got my own drink.

I still can’t help but feel a little out about it.

Am I being stupid?

I agree with the poster that said it was rude and deliberate.

I’d still feel sad about it too, OP.

Distance yourself from him in the future.

That's very shitty. Hard not to think that he's done it deliberately.

Sapho47
Arent you a bit of a cf'er for expecting people to buy you drinks?
I think you're a bit confused. I'm not the OP. The bil was given money to buy all 6 people a drink so reasonable for OP to assume she would get one. And any decent person would put money to it if it came up a bit short.

Then calling them a horrible twat for not giving you free stuff?
He is a horrible twat for deliberately excluding the OP. Surely that is obvious.

your dh should have gone and got you a drink not left you to buy your own.

Don't go out with them again if they're gonna pull stunts like that - whats the point?

Ugh, it's exactly the sort of thing my BIL would do (and has done) to me. He likes women to be kept in their place in the pecking order and is affronted that I have a more successful career than my husband and expect my husband to do an equal share of housework and parenting. We don't see him much now thank God but he was always full of little barbs and gestures to make clear how little he thought of me. Sorry little bastard.

So I'm presuming there's a back story OP??? What is he usually like with you?

Did you order something expensive on the grandads round OP? Like everyone was having half a lager and you ordered a bottle of Dom Perignom

@XiCi

Sapho47 Arent you a bit of a cf'er for expecting people to buy you drinks? I think you're a bit confused. I'm not the OP. The bil was given money to buy all 6 people a drink so reasonable for OP to assume she would get one. And any decent person would put money to it if it came up a bit short.

Then calling them a horrible twat for not giving you free stuff?
He is a horrible twat for deliberately excluding the OP. Surely that is obvious.

He didn't make the offer.

If your mil gives you gifts to give to her family and there's one short you wouldn't want to be expected to bugger off and buy an extra one would you?

So why should he?

Dickish move on his behalf but that's a reflection on him, not you.

Personally, next time we met up for a family meal I'd return the favour & just not have quite enough money to buy his drink. Yes. I'm that petty

He's a rude git. In those circumstances, if sent on that errand, I would have coughed up to buy missing drink or foregone one myself. Wouldn't fret over it though, he sounds as if he simply lacks any manners.

Oh, I'd remember that and let it guide my treatment and expectations of him in the future. Would never go out of my way to be more than civil, wouldn't remind DH of his birthday (if he were the type to need reminding), etc.

Total dick move.

So he bought himself a drink but not you specifically?

He's a twat.

It's bloody tight and rude. Saying 'There wasn't enough' is absolutely no excuse.

I'm glad I wasn't the only one thinking about an old man buying the drinks. My parents and PIL invariably ask to get the bills for family food and drink because they think it makes sense from an inheritance perspective. If they didn't have the spare cash they wouldn't offer and we wouldn't ask!

YABVU to still be thinking about this months later. Just let it go.

@Youllbeoldertoo

I’m more concerned why you’re all letting an old man buy you drinks

Are you serious? My FIL is a bloody millionaire! He bought us a new rug last week....should I have said no because he's old? He wanted to! He saw ours was shabby and then sent me a photograph of a nice one which was on sale in a shop near his house....I was very grateful! Do you think old men shouldn't be allowed to do things like this...or buy a round of drinks?

Did he buy himself one?

A polite person in that situation would have skipped themselves, not you, unless he knew you were not interested in having a drink. He was very, very rude.

YANBU

@Sapho47 It's not about a free drink. It's about singling one person out to not get what everyone else got. It's subtle bullying behavior.

That's a real dick move.

[quote RebeccaSterling]@Sapho47 It's not about a free drink. It's about singling one person out to not get what everyone else got. It's subtle bullying behavior.[/quote]
This. It's not about the drink, it's about singling out one person to exclude.

Someone in that position who wasn't a wanker wouldn't have bought himself one.

That was a nasty, belittling thing of him to do.

I would have been upset too.

What did your DH say, why didn't he get you a drink ? (I haven't read through whole thread so apologies if I've missed something!)
Bil is extremely rude, you just don't excluded one person in a group, that's just nasty. YANBU to be upset.

*exclude

@XiCi

To be honest your DH should have gone and got you a drink, along with apologising for his brother's rudeness. If he just left you to get your own he is not much better IMO. What a bad mannered family Agreed. Your DH must have known this situation was humiliating for you. Why didn't he get you a drink and give his brother a bollocking?

Agreed. Your DH must have known this situation was humiliating for you. Why didn't he get you a drink and give his brother a bollocking?

A very good question.