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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be a little upset with this?

90 replies

Lillylolo · 24/02/2021 21:47

Went to in laws family party pre lockdown (when we were allowed gatherings)

DH grandfather gave my brother in law money to get us all drinks (our table) brother in law got everyone a drink except me. Saying to DH there wasn’t enough. I didn’t make a big deal of it and got my own drink.

I still can’t help but feel a little out about it.

Am I being stupid?

OP posts:
FuckyouCovid21 · 24/02/2021 22:14

It's done, nothing you can do now, no point dwelling on it. Move on

Original poster
Lillylolo · 24/02/2021 22:14

@PurpleDaisies no accident. I was standing next to him at the bar, he ordered drinks then walked away. I felt like an idiot

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 24/02/2021 22:15

Any man worth knowing would not leave a woman sitting there with no drink whilst buying himself one from someone else's money.
This shouldn’t be a gender thing, it’s a common decency thing. You don’t leave one person out when you’ve bought for everyone else.

PurpleDaisies · 24/02/2021 22:16

[quote Lillylolo]@PurpleDaisies no accident. I was standing next to him at the bar, he ordered drinks then walked away. I felt like an idiot[/quote]
I misread this in the op, sorry.

I still don’t get why you didn’t say anything, especially if you heard him not ordering for you.

SnackSizeRaisin · 24/02/2021 22:17

To be honest your DH should have gone and got you a drink, along with apologising for his brother's rudeness. If he just left you to get your own he is not much better IMO. What a bad mannered family!

Original poster
Lillylolo · 24/02/2021 22:17

@PurpleDaisies I was too embarrassed at the time to say anything

OP posts:
XiCi · 24/02/2021 22:21

To be honest your DH should have gone and got you a drink, along with apologising for his brother's rudeness. If he just left you to get your own he is not much better IMO. What a bad mannered family
Agreed. Your DH must have known this situation was humiliating for you. Why didn't he get you a drink and give his brother a bollocking?

notanothertakeaway · 24/02/2021 22:22

If you were standing next to him at the bar, maybe he thought you were intending to buy your own, so he just bought for the others who were still sitting at the table? If this is a one off, I wouldn't read too much into it

Bluntness100 · 24/02/2021 22:23

It is an unkind thing to do, but how long ago was this? It’s quite odd to be still upset someone didn’t buy you a drink, what must have been months ago?

CrotchetyQuaver · 24/02/2021 22:24

Bloody rude of him. I bet grandad wouldn't have been impressed if he knew what had happened. Your BIL should have put his hand in his own pocket and made up the difference. Then either kept quiet or told grandad the drinks came to a bit more than he gave him.

BakewellGin1 · 24/02/2021 22:28

Most men I can think of would have said nothing and just added the few pounds themselves. What a dick

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 24/02/2021 22:28

It seems a little odd to 'tot up' the bill whilst ordering a round, perhaps he ordered the first drink and then paid for that, then ordered a second drink and paid for that and so on.
One must assume that all the drinks he did buy were the same price... next time perhaps he should divide the money by 6 first and ask the bartender which drinks he can have for that price.
What a prat.

queenqueenqueen · 24/02/2021 22:36

Surely there must be a back story?!?!?! What a twat!!

TheGoodEnoughWife · 24/02/2021 22:38

BiL was rude but you & your dh let him be.

This sort of shit goes on because no one calls it out at the time. BiL would have known how awkward it was and has got away with making you feel like that.

If you couldn't then your dh should have spoken up on your behalf.

BiL would have looked a right rude git if your dh asked him in front of everyone why he left you out? But he didn't. Which is a shame.

letsdolunch321 · 24/02/2021 22:42

Please find a hobby or do something rather than over analysing why dh's relative did not buy you a drink.

The guy sounds extremely rude not putting his hand in his pocket to add more money so everyone got a drink.

laidbacklife · 24/02/2021 22:49

Rude. Whether it was intentional or not is another matter. If you don’t have a bad relationship with him then he most likely just didn’t think.. I wouldn’t dwell on it.

ooohbriefcase · 24/02/2021 22:52

"I’m more concerned why you’re all letting an old man buy you drinks"

I know. Snatching the cash out of his shaking elderly hands, then probably forced him to order a salad while they all had steak with their cocktails.Hmm

Op tbh you're probably going to have to let this one go if it was that long ago before lockdown. He does sounds rude tho.

Viviennemary · 24/02/2021 22:53

I think you were right to be annoyed. But your DH should have got you a drink and not left you to get your own. Thry were both rude.

Butchyrestingface · 24/02/2021 22:55

@Youllbeoldertoo

I’m more concerned why you’re all letting an old man buy you drinks
Because the grandpaw in question is Daddy Warbucks.

I'd be annoyed too. Not enough to stew on it. Just enough to remember it. Grin

Sapho47 · 24/02/2021 22:55

@XiCi

He's a horrible twat. No other explanation for it. Didn't your DH say anything to him? There is no way my DH would have let his brother treat me like that. Cant believe he didn't just make up the money. Tight bastard.
Arent you a bit of a cf'er for expecting people to buy you drinks?

Then calling them a horrible twat for not giving you free stuff?

Whiskeylover45 · 24/02/2021 22:56

Nah if this had been me I would have gone without a drink myself so no one at the table would have been left out, then made a joke about cutting back. It was a bit of a dick move, but I'd see it as his problem not yours. You have done anything wrong so I'd let it go but just be mindful for future interactions.

MsPeachh · 24/02/2021 22:56

Incredibly rude, the only way I could perhaps excuse him is if he was 18 years old and not bright enough to know better.

OverByYer · 24/02/2021 22:57

Let it go!

Sapho47 · 24/02/2021 22:58

@TheGoodEnoughWife

BiL was rude but you & your dh let him be.

This sort of shit goes on because no one calls it out at the time. BiL would have known how awkward it was and has got away with making you feel like that.

If you couldn't then your dh should have spoken up on your behalf.

BiL would have looked a right rude git if your dh asked him in front of everyone why he left you out? But he didn't. Which is a shame.

"Why didn't you get my wife a drink"

"Oh sorry dad only gave me 50 your drinks orders came to 49.50"

"You should go buy another drink out of your pocket!!"

"Why me?"

"Well errr because you're the one who put the effort in to go to the bar while we sat on our asses demanding free drinks"

"And I'm the asshole?"

BloggersBlog · 24/02/2021 23:01

Did DH say anything to his brother for being so rude?