Non Celebration of Birthday

[FlatChestAthlete]

Name change, apologies.
In a new relationship, less than a year. DP doesn't believe in Valentines Day and told me long ago, so that's fine. A few days later is my birthday. DP doesn't message much in the week so was not unusual not to hear any mention of my birthday in the lead up. I certainly wasn't going to mention it! Birthday came and went, no card no present, not even a message wishing me happy birthday. Just finally discussed it. After a week of seething! DP doesn't believe in marking grown ups birthdays, only kids. AIBU to expect to have been told this in advance of the first birthday in our relationship to come around? And secondly to not even wish me happy birthday?? WTF?!?

rude. tight. bin. next.

But you do do birthdays for adults, so if he wants the honour of dating you, he needs to start doing your birthday. If he doesn’t want to, he’s not the man for you.

As the saying goes, tight with money, tight with love.

Alternatively see it as an opportunity to divert anything that you might have spent on him on treating yourself and you will probably buy yourself the ideal present rather than something which is nearly right, but not quite.

It’s just an excuse to not make an effort. And when in a relationship we want an effort to be made otherwise what’s the point?
Did he definitely know it was your birthday? Even if he genuinely doesn’t ‘believe’ in celebrating, it takes nothing to wish you a nice day and ask what you’re doing.

He may not believe in them but you do.

Reasonable not to celebrate them, unreasonable not to tell you, at least at the time non-celebration of Valentine's Day was mentioned.

What a rude insensitive poopy-pants!

He sounds like a right catch

Honestly this is a new relationship, dump the fun sponge, if he is this joyless at the start imagine life with him after a few years! Life is too short

Have you asked about his background/religion?

I'm wondering if he's a JW or just a miserable git?

DP doesn't believe in Valentines Day

Not relevant, he should have asked whether you celebrate it and at least made a token gesture if you do. Why is he making all the rules?

Well he sounds miserable. And his way doesn’t trump your way. I’d personally bin him off.

Whether or not he "believes" in celebrating birthdays, the least he could have done is sent a Happy Birthday text! I'd find this quite hard to accept long term.

He is not your “darling partner” he is a crappy boyfriend at best.

Thanks for the feedback. I say we discussed it, but it was a whattsapp text from me and a voice message from DP in reply. An arsey one at that, as we had an agreement that when DP is away with work during the week that messaging is not a given 🤷‍♂️. I keenly await the weekend when we can discuss this over the phone. Still no birthday wishes though.

Bin him.

He sounds like a knob
Don’t bother calling him again op, you can do better than this man who “doesn’t believe” in buying you a present for your birthday

I would not waste any more of my precious time waiting for, or taking part in a telephone discussion. Equal his effort. A short text saying this is not working. Goodbye.
He can take his selfish, arsey attitude and shove it where the sun doesn't shine, although by the sound of it, that is so tight nothing would fit.

What does he do?

It's kind to acknowledge a birthday and an easy way to make someone feel special. To deliberately not do it is nasty and is making the point that you are far from important. Huge warning sign. Get away!!

The thing is though, you do believe in it and that should be enough for him to do something to make you happy even if it is low key eg a card, a meal, a phone call etc. Its like I dont believe in religions but I still respect those who do, so will wish people happy (whatever celebration). This is him imposing his preferences on both of you without caring about your feelings about it or trying to find a compromise

Thanks for the feedback. I say we discussed it, but it was a whattsapp text from me and a voice message from DP in reply. An arsey one at that, as we had an agreement that when DP is away with work during the week that messaging is not a given 🤷‍♂️. I keenly await the weekend when we can discuss this over the phone. Still no birthday wishes though.

And who decided upon this little "agreement"?
Why do you have to wait until the weekend to discuss this over the phone? Are you able to meet up (appreciate you may not be able to because of covid)?

Why no messages throughout the week? It's probably a daft question, but are you sure you're not 'the other woman'? Have you met his friends and family/ are you friends with him on social media?

No relationship should make you feel sad in any case, so this either needs talking through or ending.

Come on ok this is rubbish! He either forgot and is lying or isn't into you and doesn't care about making you happy. Where is your self respect? Plus he sent you an arsey message about it?! Dump. Today. By text. No need for any discussions. Goodbye. Anything else and you are setting yourself up for continued disrespect.

He sounds like a fun person. Not. Bin him!

Why bother to even discuss it?

Dump and run, he sounds like a knob