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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would a little common decency have hurt?

549 replies

Weezapleeza · 22/02/2021 17:10

My nephew lost control of his R/C car and it went into the road. A few seconds later a woman in a Discovery ran right over it but apparently without batting an eyelid. She didn't slow down or stop either before or after. It was like she'd just flattened it in passing. Then the acknowledgement came. A couple of minutes later she pulled up outside the drive, wound down her window, and asked him the most incredible question. "Did you enjoy that?" She was furious, and rude, and he was in tears. That seemed to give her an answer but all she did then was drive off again. No apology, nothing. AIBU to expect better?

OP posts:
CandyLeBonBon · 22/02/2021 17:43

@JackieWeaverIsTheAuthority

What??? Why????

To replace the one I’d run over?

Natural consequences are your friend here. Kids shouldn't be playing with toy cars on the road, or their toys will get damaged.
nocoolnamesleft · 22/02/2021 17:43

Agree that it sounds like she thinks he did it on purpose. Presumably because 1)some older kids do things like that on purpose, and 2)noone supervising a younger child would let them do something so risky as send their R/C car into the road, for fear of them going after it.

LunaHeather · 22/02/2021 17:43

@Hoppinggreen

Remote control car? She could have swerved and caused/had an accident - which would probably been legally her fault and potentially cost her thousands of pounds, not to mention any possible injuries to her and anyone else Not surprised she was furious
Agree.
dottiedaisee · 22/02/2021 17:43

How old is nephew and how big was the car ? Harsh replies here. Yes obviously not wise to play with any kind of toy close to a road but I would have felt really sorry for the child if aged under 9;or 10 . I actually think it’s reckless people who allow their children on scooters beside roads ... I slow down to almost stop !

rwalker · 22/02/2021 17:45

It will of shook her up as she wouldn't of know what she hit . Could of been MUCH worse she could of severed and caused an accident the only person at fault here is you .

bridgetreilly · 22/02/2021 17:45

She's in shock, because of what he did. YABU to expect her to have his feelings uppermost in that moment.

NoCherryNoDeal · 22/02/2021 17:46

@JackieWeaverIsTheAuthority

This is a very un-Jackie Weaver like sentiment.

As if you would know! Grin

Ok? Confused
LunaHeather · 22/02/2021 17:46

Also, why is he allowed to play with such an item near a road?

Purplerayhan · 22/02/2021 17:47

Cause and consequence.
Doesn't sound like you're going to teach him OP so at least someone is.

BakedTattie · 22/02/2021 17:47

She should have been angry at you. You were the one In charge who clearly wasn’t doing it properly.

LizzieBirmingham · 22/02/2021 17:47

I guess she assumed he was messing around? It’s a shame she didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt and choose to believe it was an accident.

Nephew shouldn’t have been playing with a toy car near a road, and the adult in charge of him bears responsibility for that.

Squarepigeon · 22/02/2021 17:48

Cool story bro

GCAcademic · 22/02/2021 17:48

That was what I thought. I totally see her issue but she could have just been polite at least. He'd just seen her go right over his car and he needed to be told how it would have been from her point of view. I would have told him, or she could have. In a way that he could have understood.

You put her in a position where she had to make the decision to swerve, slam on the brakes or run over the toy. That is incredibly dangerous and she was right to be pissed off and shocked (I certainly would have been). The onus isn't on her to deliver the age-appropriate road safety lesson that you should have been responsible for in the first place.

Bluntness100 · 22/02/2021 17:48

To be honest, it should have been you she shouted at, but again it depends on how old he is?

Original poster
Weezapleeza · 22/02/2021 17:49

@2typesofjungle

So many questions, not many answers

How old is your nephew?
Who was watching him at the time?
Did you immediately apologise to the driver when she came back?

12

Me.

I was a bit slow on the apology. Pretty soon after I realized I should have got that in, if I could have. My problem was about the time delay. At first it felt like she'd had plenty of time to see his car in the road but had still driven right over it on purpose like she was teaching him a lesson or something. I can see the problem on my side in the respect.

OP posts:
VinylDetective · 22/02/2021 17:49

@unmarkedbythat

She's probably a MNer.
Spot on. It’s always someone else’s fault.

There’s no excuse for making a child cry, especially when they’re already upset.

Chloemol · 22/02/2021 17:49

Wow just wow

Some of you need to look at your posts. Regardless of the fact he should not have been playing close enough to the roads that by losing control if it it went into the road ( and let’s be honest lots of kids play on pavements) it is NOT acceptable for an adult to turn round, drive back and make such a nasty comment so as to have a child in tears

How would you feel if someone did that to your child because of an accident!

Nasty the lot of youn

cantgetmyheadroundit · 22/02/2021 17:49

I'm a bit confused as to why you're avoiding answering how old your nephew is.

cantgetmyheadroundit · 22/02/2021 17:50

Oops, sorry cross posted.

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 22/02/2021 17:51

12!!!!

I thought you were gonna say he was 4!

He is more Han old enough to know how to control an RC car. I can't believe you think she owed you an apology when he nearly caused an accident

MartiniDry · 22/02/2021 17:51

Don't play near the public highway.
The adult in charge of the child is the one who's BU. I don't blame the driver one bit for being angry.

UrAWizHarry · 22/02/2021 17:51

People don't go into shock because they hit a toy in the road, FFS.

Balls/toys or even just rubbish etc blowing about is going to occasionally go on the road. If there was no damage shouting at a kid is not on.

Snorlaxx · 22/02/2021 17:51

I cannot believe some of the responses- I'm genuinely shocked that some people think this woman was justified in sneering at a young child over something accidental.

If there was damage or harm caused by what happened, she should have spoken to you about it. Responding to a young child in such a nasty manner was uncalled for. Accidents happen and thankfully nobody was hurt.

luxxlisbon · 22/02/2021 17:51

I was picturing a 5 year old. A 12 year old is more than old enough to know he shouldn't be driving remote control cars on the road.

I'm not surprised she thought he was being a little shit and doing it on purpose.

In a way everyone could have behaved better here, acknowledge that you and your nephew were also wrong and move on. This women isn't totally in the wrong here.

JackieWeaverIsTheAuthority · 22/02/2021 17:52

Natural consequences are your friend here. Kids shouldn't be playing with toy cars on the road, or their toys will get damaged.

Was he playing with it on the road?

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