To think an Instagram account that follows women in underwear is a red flag?

WillSheEver · 2021-02-22T11:43:14+00:00

I’m venturing into the world of OLD and have been having seemingly normal text conversations with professional men, but then looked at their linked Instagram accounts and see that they follow women in underwear, thongs etc. You get the idea. The kind of accounts with just a first name and heart emojis. Is this a red flag, would you avoid? Or am I just being a bit prudish?

TheChiefJo · 22/02/2021 11:56

I'd avoid, personally.

ZackaryQuack · 22/02/2021 12:08

It wouldn't bother me, but then a few of my closest friends are photographers (who take those sort of photos professionally, so various women and varies levels of clothing are displayed amongst other photography) and models (here I mean professional, published, so have open pages with photos of them in just their underwear as well as fully clothed etc as they use instagram as an extension of their portfolios) DH follows them as do other friends partners and they all follow eachother.

But we all have boundaries and you should stick to them and any future partner should respect them.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 22/02/2021 12:12

The thing is that as single men, they can absolutely follow them. It's after the discussion with a partner and setting up expectations for boundaries from both sides when this can be taken up as an issue.

CorianderBee · 22/02/2021 12:13

Tbf I follow lots of these women for work. I'm a 25yo female 😂

SchrodingersImmigrant · 22/02/2021 12:15

Also just an fyi (obviously that's not a case of all of them, but few) I had an issue on business account that suddenly there were what are basically porn accounts in our followed profiles. I know for a fact I did NOT follow them. Apparently some start as something totally different and innocent to get followers and then switch🙄 Because most people wouldn't follow them if they were what they really are from the beginning. So now I am doing regular checks.

NoCherryNoDeal · 22/02/2021 12:17

I don’t think following them for work or if you’re a photographer is comparable.

OP, I think it’s sleazy.

Ponoka7 · 22/02/2021 12:17

The Women are free, or cheap wank material. The issue is that men start to be happy with that/porn and get overly fussy with real women and see them as very disposable. So the least problem and you're gone. If the women are a lot younger, don't go there.

Jobsharenightmare · 22/02/2021 12:26

Perhaps if you are 25 then this might be more normal but I have to say this isn't something people in my circle do. As someone in their middle age I'd definitely see this as a red flag just like a man with hundreds of Facebook "friends" who are all young women.

ScarfaceCwaw · 22/02/2021 12:29

Tbh, given what anyone on the internet can be looking at within seconds with half a teaspoon of effort, following women in their undies seems rather innocent, the 2020 equivalent of enjoying the lingerie section of the Littlewoods catalogue.

Curiosity101 · 22/02/2021 12:43

For me, I think it would depend on the % of accounts they're following like that vs 'normal' accounts. If it's just a few out of hundreds of accounts they follow then I don't think I'd care. In that case, I'd liken it to my Facebook friends list where 99% of the people aren't relevant to my life anymore but I've not actually gone through my friends list to do anything about it.

ShulamithFirestone · 22/02/2021 12:44

@ZackaryQuack

It wouldn't bother me, but then a few of my closest friends are photographers (who take those sort of photos professionally, so various women and varies levels of clothing are displayed amongst other photography) and models (here I mean professional, published, so have open pages with photos of them in just their underwear as well as fully clothed etc as they use instagram as an extension of their portfolios) DH follows them as do other friends partners and they all follow eachother.

But we all have boundaries and you should stick to them and any future partner should respect them.

Still sleazy as fuck, whether "professional" or not!

Original poster

WillSheEver · 22/02/2021 13:02

These are not the accounts of professional models, with the odd lingerie/swimwear shot, And these are just the accounts that are public. I suspect the private ones are quite different. Because of lockdown I’m only messaging and the odd phone call at the moment, so it’s not something I would even discuss at the moment. And yes they are single men who can do what they want and it’s probably just wank material. But I guess it just makes me think that their ideas about sex may be a bit skewed and porn based.

What I don’t get is why they would make it so visible. One in particular follows them on a business account. Maybe they don’t realise it’s visible?

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Original poster

WillSheEver · 22/02/2021 13:05

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Also just an fyi (obviously that's not a case of all of them, but few) I had an issue on business account that suddenly there were what are basically porn accounts in our followed profiles. I know for a fact I did NOT follow them. Apparently some start as something totally different and innocent to get followers and then switch🙄 Because most people wouldn't follow them if they were what they really are from the beginning. So now I am doing regular checks.

That’s interesting and if someone seemed other wise nice, there could be a perfectly innocent explanation!

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Original poster

WillSheEver · 22/02/2021 13:06

@ScarfaceCwaw

Tbh, given what anyone on the internet can be looking at within seconds with half a teaspoon of effort, following women in their undies seems rather innocent, the 2020 equivalent of enjoying the lingerie section of the Littlewoods catalogue.

Yes, I agree, but it’s what else they might be into that would bother me. If it was just the tip of the iceberg.

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zigaziga · 22/02/2021 13:10

I think it’s sleazy. Obviously people can do what they want but it all forms part of the impression you get of the person.

I remember once being in the car with a friend who was quite flirty and who it seemed might become someone to date. He honked his horn at some women walking down the road (gross) so obviously I didn’t see him again after that. Similar level sleaze IMO.

rattusrattus20 · 22/02/2021 13:21

i think following a few accounts like that is totally fine as part of a reasonably balanced mix of other accounts, e.g. realworld friends, figures from sport, music, etc.

provided, i suppose, the accounts in question aren't leaning towards the p0rn/prossie end of the spectrum.

peak2021 · 22/02/2021 14:13

Good job you found out in time OP.

Original poster

WillSheEver · 22/02/2021 15:45

They are definitely leaning towards the porn end! It’s not just Victoria Secrets!

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Original poster

WillSheEver · 22/02/2021 15:46

@peak2021

Good job you found out in time OP.

Yes, I will definitely proceed with caution

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SchrodingersImmigrant · 22/02/2021 15:48

How many are they following👀

SionnachRua · 22/02/2021 15:53

I think it's pretty standard to follow one or two of those types tbh. Plenty of women out there following celebs just because they're hot. If it's all that they follow that's a different story.

Having said that as a pole dancer, I follow way more semi naked ladies than my better half does

Jobsharenightmare · 22/02/2021 21:33

Would you be embarrassed if other people whose opinions you valued knew he did this? I think that's a good yardstick sometimes. It would make me cringe and get the ick for sure. Other people's lifestyles might make this seem normal, but really it's not about justifying it it's about how you feel about him making this choice.