If you came into a lot of money-would you leave?

[Windspickingup]

Your partner/Dh?
Anyone feel life would be easier/happier just you/you and the kids?
I don’t think you realise when young how important money actually is/will be
Aibu to feel like this?

No, I'm happily married though.

If a person wasn't and had the opportunity to leave then I would tell them to take it with both hands

No, but we’d move to somewhere that was big enough to have separate bedrooms.

His snoring is no joke. I cannot stand him when he starts up.

I'm a single mum. I was better off financially when I was engaged, ex dp was still paying half the bills, and giving me a decent amount of money for ds for whatever he needed.

But he was a selfish, abusive arsehole, and I'm much happier managing on my own, than I was when I was walking on eggshells, and doing shit for him. And it wasn't until we split that I realised just how much "wife work" I'd been doing for him, unpaid, unacknowledged, unthanked. Yes, he paid half the bills etc, but after that he had a lot more spare cash than me (I was only able to work pt), and the time and energy to enjoy it, enabled by me. Oh to be able to be totally care/worry free, living your best life, for the 128 hours a week you aren't doing your piss easy job, you've admitted you sometimes nap during, because there's a "boring, knackered, nagging, have let themselves go", skivvy at home, doing everything but go to work, and wipe your arse, for you .

No I wouldn't but I love him, and I know he loves me even though he is a lazy git sometimes.

No. But there are some members of my family I would feel more free to avoid.

No, never. He's my best friend.

But I would be glad to be the wealthier one for a change. He doesn't make me feel bad about it all but I'm aghast that he can tap on the keyboard for an hour and make money passively for years after while I have to put in so much work and make so much less. 😅

Sorry my point was, if you're really unhappy, don't wait for a cash windfall, that may never happen or take a lifetime. Life's too short, and imo being skint and content, is better than being better off financially, but unhappy was. For DS too.

No but I'd buy a huge house with separate bed chambers - sleeping separately would be wonderful.

Yes from me

@fat13

I think people are being a bit disingenuous tbh.

It isn’t the money keeping her there as much as the fact that sometimes the sums don’t add up.

This.

I love my DH so don't want to leave. But thinking about, if I did want to there's no way I could afford to. We live paycheck to paycheck so I couldn't furrow anything away and have no one to stay with until I built up enough money for 1st months rent and deposit plus a car of my own (which I would need for work, currently have a family car we both use). It would be the case if my DH was the one who left.

Thankfully we're happy so it's not a problem we have, but its easy to see how people get stuck in unhappy relationships.

Hmm. Not sure tbh. We have wildly different interests. I think we would just end up spending less and less time together doing our own thing, which might lead to a split.

No, love my DH. Money would be good for more space though so we could reach have a hobby room and some of the clutter could be out of the living and dining rooms.

No. I wouldn’t be with someone though just for their money or the lifestyle a joint income brings.

Of course not. I'm with my partner voluntarily, and if we had more money we'd just have more fun.

I can't imagine sharing a bed and a house with a man in return for money. What a way to live. Must be ruinous for the self-esteem.

Yes, and I have started a little escape fund and am picking up extra admin work at the moment.

Yes and no - in my first marriage I was deeply unhappy living with an alcoholic who didn't work so I didn't know how I could afford to leave.

I did get a £2k windfall abs still didn't leave immediately as I couldn't work out how to do it.

When I did though the money was hugely helpful for getting somewhere to live though!

No definitely not.

No, but it would make me feel more secure in case something bad happened and we did want to separate.

Definitely not. I adore him, he’s a fantastic man who brings out the best in me and we love each other much more today than we did 12+ years ago when we first fell in love. That history means the world to me.

Im sorry it’s not the same for you. Might be time to really think carefully about whether or not you should be staying in this relationship.

You must be in a fairly unhappy marriage if you think this way, OP.

I left without the money, because I needed to, he was abusive. If I'd had the money, I'd have left a lot sooner.

And given part of it was financial abuse (why it took so long to leave, I had to save up) and he was so, so money orientated, I'd have had fund discreetly waving the vast amounts in his face. He'd have felt real pain on effectively being so near yet so far from getting his hands on the money.

But, he's dead now, and the kids are inheriting everything. I get the last laugh.

I would be gone 10 seconds after the cheque cleared.

I’m single and no kids so no but I do strongly suspect that should my ex get wind of it he would try even harder to come back. And no I wouldn’t be taking him back

This thread was done a few years ago, and I answered yes. I’m so pleased to say that I no longer feel that way and the answer is now no.

I did, and I did.