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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you came into a lot of money-would you leave?

79 replies

Windspickingup · 21/02/2021 12:52

Your partner/Dh?
Anyone feel life would be easier/happier just you/you and the kids?
I don’t think you realise when young how important money actually is/will be
Aibu to feel like this?

OP posts:
ThreeTwoOneBlastOff · 21/02/2021 12:53

No I wouldn’t, but then I’m not unhappy in my marriage.

Cherrysoup · 21/02/2021 12:57

Dear god, no! We’d be off enjoying ourselves, together, because I bloody adore his bones.

Spied · 21/02/2021 12:59

YANBU

Significantown · 21/02/2021 13:00

Is money the only reason you’re staying?

justab0utsurviving · 21/02/2021 13:02

I think in the real world, if people had money then they might be more likely to split from husbands/partners. I think it is reflected in the life of celebrities - movie stars etc for whole money is no object or issue. They can separate and keep their same lifestyles etc. Back on planet earth , regular people can't just do that. And so are more likely to stick it out.

kookah · 21/02/2021 13:04

No I wouldn't but I would bu a house with separate wings so I wouldn't have to put up with his hobby shit everywhere!

MustardMitt · 21/02/2021 13:04

Not now, no, but I can’t say for certain that things wouldn’t change in the future.

DamsonDress · 21/02/2021 13:04

No way. Although he might. He's definitely the better half. Grin

ContessaDiPulpo · 21/02/2021 13:06

No. This actually pleases me, because this time last year I absolutely would have said yes! We are clearly getting along better Smile

Pyewackect · 21/02/2021 13:07

If you were married you'd have to share that money and you'd probably only see your kids half the time.

mootymoo · 21/02/2021 13:07

No the only thing we would leave is work! But it would have to be a 7 figure sum for that to happen, very unlikely

EachBleachBlairTrump · 21/02/2021 13:08

No, I earn more than DH and could comfortably support DS and I and keep the house we live in. I would buy us a bigger house, and we'd all go on a big holiday when this is over, if it was a substantial amount I'd also privately educate DS for at least prep, the grammars in this area are excellent. But no leaving wouldn't even cross my mind, but I've always said is never be financially dependent on anyone, so extra money doesn't change choices like that

Aimee1987 · 21/02/2021 13:08

No we would quit our jobs and book flight to Japan, Peru, lapland, new zealand and..........
Like others have said is money the only thing keeping you in your relationship?

year5teacher · 21/02/2021 13:08

God, no. I’d be buying a modest house so he could have a lovely studio space for all his music tech. And I’d pay off his (small) debts. Depending on how much money I came into, of course!

I can’t think of anything nicer than being able to share a windfall with my DP. Ask me in ten years when we have kids Wink

LindaEllen · 21/02/2021 13:08

If you're feeling like this, you need to find a way to leave now. Why wait for money?

lastqueenofscotland · 21/02/2021 13:09

No I’d be booking us some mad holidays and buying loads of expensive alcohol

MrsBrunch · 21/02/2021 13:09

No way.

Sexnotgender · 21/02/2021 13:10

No! I love him deeply.

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 21/02/2021 13:11

No, I like spending time with him.
If we had a lot of money we could stop work/work less hours and less stressful jobs and do more things together. (Post covid)

FinallyFluid · 21/02/2021 13:12

No

fat13 · 21/02/2021 13:13

I think people are being a bit disingenuous tbh.

It isn’t the money keeping her there as much as the fact that sometimes the sums don’t add up.

LongDistanceClaret · 21/02/2021 13:13

I always think this is a really useful way to tell if you are happy in your relationship. Imagine someone has bought you a house half a mile away which you can just move straight into - do you do it? When I was married, the answer had become yes which is why I knew we had to either sort out our problems or split up. We split up. Wasn’t easy but I think I am happier alone (even in lockdown) than trapped in a problematic relationship and unhappy.

AllMyPrettyOnes · 21/02/2021 13:14

Absolutely not.

Justmuddlingalong · 21/02/2021 13:15

No. We have a fantastic relationship so a windfall would be enjoyed together.
I was in a shite marriage 20 years ago and longed to have the money to leave, but it never materialised. I left anyway and was on the bones of my arse for a few years, but I left and my life improved in other ways overnight.

VladmirsPoutine · 21/02/2021 13:16

YANBU. A lot of couples are only together because maintaining two houses is much more expensive than just one. It's not as simple as saying "You should leave! Go be happy!" - because sometimes the sums don't add up like that. Sometimes you can't literally afford to leave. Whatever is the story in your case OP, or maybe this is more of a thought experiment I hope you're ok!