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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's quite common to do this and it's not unreasonable?

232 replies

YuHu · 20/02/2021 20:49

To go on maternity leave (and take the full amount) knowing full well you won't be going back without telling work until you have to give notice before you're supposed to be returning?

This is what I am doing at the moment, mid way through my maternity leave and I do not intend to return but won't be informing work until I legally have to.

My main reason for this is to safeguard myself in case the situation changes, I think it's far more sensible, even if you think you won't be returning, to not actually make it known until the end.

OP posts:
SheCannaeTakeNoMoreCapt · 20/02/2021 22:16

Because they have to shell out a wage for someone who isn’t there, plus paying out for someone to fill the role. Are you a bit thick?

Are you? Because almost no small businesses are paying any wage to women on mat leave! SMP only

BackforGood · 20/02/2021 22:16

Shit for the employer though, and contributes to the discrimination against employing women of child bearing age at interview. Just be honest

This ^
It's not "screwing yourself over", and no-one is asking for anyone to resign before they need to, but an honest conversation with the employer is the right thing to do, IMO.
You aren't ever saying "I won't be coming back. You are saying "Obviously, I don't know how I'll feel, what will happen, so won't be putting my resignation in until I need to, but, if life goes according to plan, and I feel like I think I am going to feel, then I hope to take a few years out to be at home with my dc".
It means the employers has a fairer idea of if they are covering 6 / 9 / 12 months or starting someone who is likely to be there for a while. Won't make much of a difference in an unskilled job, but will in one where there is a lot of training involved.

alltoomuchrightnow · 20/02/2021 22:17

It's unfair.
I feel it does add to discrimination especially for infertile women like me who have been asked all sorts at interviews

BoyTree · 20/02/2021 22:18

Because they have to shell out a wage for someone who isn’t there, plus paying out for someone to fill the role. Are you a bit thick?

They have to pay the wage of the person in the role and the government pay maternity pay so the business is not out of pocket. I hope that whatever made you so eager to be unkind doesn't burden you for long.

Original poster
YuHu · 20/02/2021 22:19

Because they have to shell out a wage for someone who isn’t there, plus paying out for someone to fill the role. Are you a bit thick?

Are you? I've said several times they aren't shelling out anything... I get SMP only. Doesn't fit your agenda though?

OP posts:
inthew00d · 20/02/2021 22:19

@BoyTree

I think it's a cruel thing to do if you work for a small business but if you work for a larger corporation I couldn't get upset about it.

Do you think it's cruel for any other employee to leave a small business by giving the required notice?

If that employee hasn't actually done any work for them in a year, yes. They're paying someone who never intends to do any work for their business again.
BoyTree · 20/02/2021 22:20

You aren't ever saying "I won't be coming back. You are saying "Obviously, I don't know how I'll feel, what will happen, so won't be putting my resignation in until I need to, but, if life goes according to plan, and I feel like I think I am going to feel, then I hope to take a few years out to be at home with my dc".

But would you expect someone who was thinking of maybe looking around for another job in the next year or so to tell their employer that? Because I don't understand why women on mat leave are held to a higher standard than any other employee who might want to change jobs?

Donoteatthekittens · 20/02/2021 22:20

@Mooballs

Yes. Perfectly legal and another reason for companies not to employ women of childbearing age. Be proud.
But it’s not as though women ages 18-45 are all unemployed is it? There have never been so many women in paid employment!
BoyTree · 20/02/2021 22:20

They're paying someone who never intends to do any work for their business again.

Maternity pay is paid by the government.

EmJay19 · 20/02/2021 22:20

I did this and my situation worked out as well as it could have. It’s not personal to them... you have to protect yourself - no one else will

inthew00d · 20/02/2021 22:21

OP I'm not sure why you posted this thread as you don't seem to be reacting particularly well to people who don't agree with you.

Fluffien · 20/02/2021 22:22

Meh, I think it's fine. As long as you give notice as soon as you can without missing out so they have plenty of time to recruit, they aren't out of pocket (and if they don't replace you, they are actually up a wage).

Original poster
YuHu · 20/02/2021 22:22

@inthew00d

OP I'm not sure why you posted this thread as you don't seem to be reacting particularly well to people who don't agree with you.
Just people who are stating incorrect information such as the fact my employer is 'shelling out a wage' for me. They aren't.

Simply correcting misinformation.

OP posts:
NewScone · 20/02/2021 22:23

I think a lot of maternity policies specifically state that your notice period is the same. So they must know it's a possibility you might decide not to come back.

inthew00d · 20/02/2021 22:23

Are you willing to hear a variety of opinions or only those who agree with you? If it's the latter, you chose the wrong forum.

Fluffien · 20/02/2021 22:24

Also surprising the amount of people who don't realise that the government pay SMP. Enhanced pay (which often has a return of service attached) is the only part the company itself pays, if they choose too- of course not all jobs offer this.

pollylocketpickedapocket · 20/02/2021 22:24

@BoyTree

Because they have to shell out a wage for someone who isn’t there, plus paying out for someone to fill the role. Are you a bit thick?

They have to pay the wage of the person in the role and the government pay maternity pay so the business is not out of pocket. I hope that whatever made you so eager to be unkind doesn't burden you for long.

Yes the government, taxpayers actually! And when they abolish maternity pay, like other countries do, you’ll know why! In a few years they’ll be people on here bleating about how we’re like America! It’s a piss take.
Original poster
YuHu · 20/02/2021 22:25

@inthew00d

Are you willing to hear a variety of opinions or only those who agree with you? If it's the latter, you chose the wrong forum.
A variety of opinions yes.

Misinformation presented as fact, no. Such as 'paying someone who never intends to do work for their business again'.

They aren't paying me... It's not disagreeing with you to simply correct you Smile

OP posts:
NewScone · 20/02/2021 22:26

You might think you don't want to go back but until you actually hand in your notice you haven't committed to not going back.

BoyTree · 20/02/2021 22:28

Yes the government, taxpayers actually!
And when they abolish maternity pay, like other countries do, you’ll know why! In a few years they’ll be people on here bleating about how we’re like America! It’s a piss take

So you think that the OP accepting maternity pay at all is a piss take? Because she's entitled to that whether or not she goes back to work.
If you are arguing against the concept of maternity pay in general, that's a completely different matter.

LittleDoritt · 20/02/2021 22:28

I fully intended to do this with DD1. By the time my mat leave was up DH had lost his job, I had to go back to work and I was very glad I hadn't told them months in advance and had to rescind my notice!

NewScone · 20/02/2021 22:29

Actually I remember being told by a teacher at college to take full maternity leave rather than quit a job as you never know what could happen and you might need that job back.

Donoteatthekittens · 20/02/2021 22:30

I’m a bit confused why maternity leave is apparently being abolished and we are going to be like the USA? Why?

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/jan/27/maternity-leave-us-policy-worst-worlds-richest-countries

The U.K. is already third from the bottom!
worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/maternity-leave-by-country

Snooptheboot · 20/02/2021 22:30

@pollylocketpickedapocket You think the government will abolish maternity pay because women give their resignation within their contractual notice period? Are you feeling ok love? 🤔

Twizbe · 20/02/2021 22:31

@pollylocketpickedapocket you know SMP is from the same pot as our national insurance contributions right? So these taxpayers (you included I assume) are also paying for sat sick pay, stat adoption pay, pensions and the NHS ..... or is that not ok either?