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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's quite common to do this and it's not unreasonable?

232 replies

YuHu · 20/02/2021 20:49

To go on maternity leave (and take the full amount) knowing full well you won't be going back without telling work until you have to give notice before you're supposed to be returning?

This is what I am doing at the moment, mid way through my maternity leave and I do not intend to return but won't be informing work until I legally have to.

My main reason for this is to safeguard myself in case the situation changes, I think it's far more sensible, even if you think you won't be returning, to not actually make it known until the end.

OP posts:
Original poster
YuHu · 20/02/2021 22:05

@ufucoffee

Depends where you work. A large organisation can probably carry the inconvenience of you taking money then not returning. It's a shitty thing to do to a small company.
Taking what money? I got 6 weeks of 90% pay and then SMP... hardly rolling in their cash.
OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/02/2021 22:05

Totally normal thing to do.

Twizbe · 20/02/2021 22:06

@Kljnmw3459

My workplace requires you to return for 52 weeks after mat leave. Otherwise you have to pay the maternity pay back (minus the SMP of course). Check your contract!!!
I always wonder how they can possibly enforce such a long period.
SweetPetrichor · 20/02/2021 22:06

I can see why people do this, but as a woman of child bearing age, it pisses me off as it adds to the general image of the flakey female employee.

Phineyj · 20/02/2021 22:06

Well, you'd be buggered if you did say you'd leave and then changed your mind, and you'd still look flakey, so it's the better of the two options, I think.

Sittingonabench · 20/02/2021 22:06

While you currently have that intention, your decision is not made until you hand notice in. Has someone told you this is unreasonable?
The size of the company and their ability to replace me as well as how good an employer they are may sway me to give more of an indication of my intentions (not give written notice earlier) but yes starting point would be as you say.

pollylocketpickedapocket · 20/02/2021 22:06

And yes, I hope they make you pay back every penny.

Twizbe · 20/02/2021 22:06

@ufucoffee

Depends where you work. A large organisation can probably carry the inconvenience of you taking money then not returning. It's a shitty thing to do to a small company.
OP is only getting SMP which the employer is claiming back off the government.
Lazypuppy · 20/02/2021 22:07

You're allowed to do it, but it is so frustrating as a manager

And it actually paints all women with the same crap brush, they think every woman is going to screw them over.

I think its ones thing to say you aren't sure etc, but to say you absolutely coming back, just hurts other women

Original poster
YuHu · 20/02/2021 22:07

@pollylocketpickedapocket

And yes, I hope they make you pay back every penny.
They are getting every penny back from the government... I'm only getting SMP calm down 🤣
OP posts:
BoyTree · 20/02/2021 22:08

Small businesses are screwed over by this

How are they?

cabbageking · 20/02/2021 22:09

You use the system to your best advantage. I see nothing wrong in it.

BoyTree · 20/02/2021 22:09

You're allowed to do it, but it is so frustrating as a manager

Why is it more frustrating than anyone else giving notice?

Original poster
YuHu · 20/02/2021 22:09

@SweetPetrichor

I can see why people do this, but as a woman of child bearing age, it pisses me off as it adds to the general image of the flakey female employee.
Would you expect someone who spent time looking for a new job to tell their existing employer they were considering leaving and looking elsewhere or would you think it fine for them to wait until they were actually ready to leave?

Why is it different?

OP posts:
TrimmedMyBush · 20/02/2021 22:09

@FFSAllTheGoodOnesArereadyTaken

I think it's a bit shit to be honest. You never know when you will want to or have to work with any of these people again in the future so I'd be wary of burning any bridges
I work in HR and also did the same. It’s really not shit, the business will still run without you.

I had ZERO intention of going back to my pre-mat leave job, you don’t tell them that EVER. Put yourself first every time especially when it comes to maternity leave decisions.

You will not burn bridges by leaving a job at the end of maternity leave...honestly this posters view just screams ‘people pleaser’.

Twizbe · 20/02/2021 22:10

In my old company not one woman had returned to work after a second maternity leave, not one. The only senior female was child free.... you'd think that would prompt them to have a think around why.... especially as the department was in a traditionally female heavy industry.... but no... they just hired more young woman to fill the gaps and watched them leave after their second maternity leaves.

Marinaloves · 20/02/2021 22:11

The idea that small business lose is mad
SMP they get back + so they actually make a profit from maternity

But this isn’t about maternity pay. This is about how you deal with it
As I said upthread
Think like a man.

Your answer is there

BoyTree · 20/02/2021 22:11

You never know when you will want to or have to work with any of these people again in the future so I'd be wary of burning any bridges

Yet you expect the OP to burn her bridges by saying she will leave even though none of us know how things could potentially change for her between now and then? Why should she prioritise their potential inconvenience over her livelihood?

LBOCS2 · 20/02/2021 22:12

@pollylocketpickedapocket

And yes, I hope they make you pay back every penny.
Who to? It's SMP.

I manage a team and I don't bank on any of my team coming back if they've been on maternity leave, I'm happy to be guided by them. Our company has a return to work bonus rather than enhanced maternity pay which is great for paying nursery costs or similar so there is an incentive to come back - but I don't feel any differently about them if they decide against it.

Fwiw, with one of my maternity leaves I went back at 9mo, the other I handed in my notice after taking the full leave including enhancements. You have to do what's right for you and any decent manager would support that.

pollylocketpickedapocket · 20/02/2021 22:12

The government??? You mean the taxpayer??

Twizbe · 20/02/2021 22:12

@BoyTree

You're allowed to do it, but it is so frustrating as a manager

Why is it more frustrating than anyone else giving notice?

This ... plus if you've covered their role well you've already got your new hire sitting there.
Twizbe · 20/02/2021 22:14

@pollylocketpickedapocket

The government??? You mean the taxpayer??
Who'd also be paying maternity allowance if she wasn't employed or hadn't been employed long enough ...
pollylocketpickedapocket · 20/02/2021 22:14

@BoyTree

Small businesses are screwed over by this

How are they?

Because they have to shell out a wage for someone who isn’t there, plus paying out for someone to fill the role. Are you a bit thick?
SheCannaeTakeNoMoreCapt · 20/02/2021 22:15

I did the same. And I too the full pay they offered and forgot to put in my contract that I ahd to pay it back if I didn't return.
They deserved it, they were fuckers to work for.

nettie434 · 20/02/2021 22:15

Wow! Where is the solidarity? I am reading this thread as someone without children but who has managed people on maternity leave.

I think you are doing absolutely the right thing. Women who do this are making sure they know 100% if they want to take extra time out of the workplace or not. It also means that if the worse happens and the partner loses their job during the maternity leave, the partner could be the stay at home parent while the mother goes back to work. I never assumed somebody on maternity leave would come back on their official return date in the same way I never assumed somebody who wanted to take unpaid leave or someone who needed a major operation would inevitably come back on a set date. If nothing else, Covid should have taught us that things don't always happen the way we expect.

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