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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Degree educated but won't go for managerial jobs

177 replies

MiaMarshmallows · 20/02/2021 18:05

Anyone else know someone like this? This person is a family member. None of my business I know but I do wonder.
She is degree educated, has health issues and made redundant from a job she had been in for years (Well below her skill set but she loved it.)
Just feel she is really doing herself a disservice and feels like it's lack of confidence more than anything.

OP posts:
Lolastarsandstripe · 20/02/2021 22:25

I’m managed by someone a lot younger than me, and don’t think it’s a waste of talent at all. I have no intention of taking on the ridiculous hours, hassle and responsibility that she has. It would stress me out. I’m worth so much more than that

wobblewombat · 20/02/2021 22:31

Why is it a waste?

Original poster
MiaMarshmallows · 20/02/2021 22:53

Waste of money doing a degree, waste of talent, waste of opportunity.
It's her life, I just think her confidence is holding her back which is a terrible shame.

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 20/02/2021 22:59

@MiaMarshmallows

Waste of money doing a degree, waste of talent, waste of opportunity. It's her life, I just think her confidence is holding her back which is a terrible shame.
Why are you so invested in your family member? Is it your daughter?

What does she want to do?

Lolastarsandstripe · 20/02/2021 23:16

We need to know why you are so bothered though: is it your daughter?

Nohomemadecandles · 20/02/2021 23:17

People's worth isn't defined by how far they shin up the greasy pole. Hmm

RampantIvy · 20/02/2021 23:23

@Nohomemadecandles

People's worth isn't defined by how far they shin up the greasy pole. Hmm
I agree. I love my job. I feel challenged by the work and get a great deal of satisfaction from it. I also feel valued and appreciated by my boss. And I'm so glad that I don't have anyone reporting to me.
Allispretty · 20/02/2021 23:33

@Biffbaff

My nan, who left school at 15, loved giving me career advice. She knew nothing about the 21st century job market, she knew nothing about my degree and what me and my peers went on to do with it. She had a small list of "good" jobs she was aware of (teacher, lawyer, journalist) and anything else she was sceptical and critical of.

You know what's bad for self esteem? Someone criticising you for your decisions, saying you should be doing this or that.

I'd try being nicer to your long-suffering young relative. Knowing you disapprove of her career decisions isn't exactly going to be a confidence-building for her.

Totally agree...I've had the most supportive mum who couldn't care less if I cleaned toilets for a living so long as I'm happy! It's meant I've never felt pressure to achieve but I have friends privately educated, parents have a small list of "made it" jobs meaning anything else is below them...they've had a life full of constantly feeling not good enough/under pressure.

Op if she's happy who cares? Stop being so invested and focus on your own life

Bluesername · 20/02/2021 23:39

Accept her how she is. It takes time to build confidence and it is best done with people who are supportive. Even if you think she doesn't notice your judgement, she does.

Caramelwhispers · 21/02/2021 04:57

Have you got a degree? A degree is never a waste of money, knowledge is priceless & is never a waste of money.

Graciebobcat · 21/02/2021 05:11

Not everyone wants to manage people. I seem to have largely avoided it by working for a small organisation, in spite of being in a director role.

SakuraEdenSwan1 · 21/02/2021 05:14

Every nurse now has to have a degree but all cannot be in management.

PracticingPerson · 21/02/2021 05:18

@MiaMarshmallows

Waste of money doing a degree, waste of talent, waste of opportunity. It's her life, I just think her confidence is holding her back which is a terrible shame.
This is rather rude tbh, people have every right to live life as they choose.
Reinventinganna · 21/02/2021 05:34

What do you do @MiaMarshmallows that allows you to judge your friend and dress it up as caring for her?

Oblomov21 · 21/02/2021 05:43

Being a good manager is a real skill, that most mangers don't have.
My Dh is very good at it, but he's the only 1 I know who is!
Many MN'ers post that their manager is abysmal.
I do accounts. I don't manage anyone. I have no desire to.

NewtoHolland · 21/02/2021 05:54

I think even if she wanted to go for management the roles will be looking for some supervisory experience. It's definitely not as easy as degree - Manager

NewtoHolland · 21/02/2021 05:58

Also It isn't a waste of money doing a degree just because you don't go into a senior role or a waste of talent. Why do something that makes you feel miserable if you don't enjoy it! It sounds like you need to take a step back and let her be.

poptartqueen · 21/02/2021 06:04

It's not what we all want. I did the management jobs for years then gave it all up to do minimum wage work, I'm much happier as a result and it gives me time for other things and I don't have to pay back my student loans 😁

Lucyccfc68 · 21/02/2021 07:13

Having or not having a degree has no bearing on someone being a really good manager. Managing people and teams is a skill set in its own right.

I have friends with different degrees - physio, engineering, teaching etc and they don’t have to the skill set or mind set to manage people. The 2 best people managers in my friendship group, do not have a degree. In fact one of them doesn’t have O levels or A levels and is one of the best managers I know and her team would say the same.

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 21/02/2021 07:19

Is she happy? Does she enjoy her life? Does she have a good work/life balance? Does she feel fulfilled by her life outside of work?

I have two degrees and completed a graduate management programme and worked in management for a few years. It was not for me. I am now a SAHM. I won't be forever but I never intend to return to a senior position. I find I am much happier putting my energy into my life outside of work.

It isn't a waste as long as I am happy and feel fulfilled.

Toottootdrivers · 21/02/2021 07:40

Having qualifications does not make a person cut out for something.
I'm a qualified solicitor and while I could do the job, I couldn't cope with the stress that came with it. I decided that my mental health was more important and now I've gone down a different route. I'm excellent at my current job and more importantly, happy.

Status isn't everything

EileenGC · 21/02/2021 07:45

You don’t do a degree so you can get a more senior job than you could get without one.

At least I didn’t. I did two degrees in something I love, so I could learn more about it, and all I want from my job is to be happy in it. Both my degrees are first class/distinction, with honours and all the special commendations you can imagine. I’m still not going for a management role or anything super senior, because I would absolutely hate doing that. I want to be happy and enjoy doing what I love.

Rowenasemolina · 21/02/2021 07:52

In no way does having a degree qualify you for a managerial position.

I feel very sorry for your relative. It sounds like she is being pressurised into applying for inappropriate jibs by ignorant people with ridiculous expectations. What a nightmare

Back RIGHT off, and make sure other family members do too

trappedsincesundaymorn · 21/02/2021 07:53

My DD has a degree in a field that could earn her a lot of money (upwards of 100K at senior level) . She has never used it and earns 22K in a job she started part-time whilst at uni (she is now full time). She adores her job, it's where she met her DP who she has been with for 8 years. Do I think she wasted her time going to uni? No I don't, it taught her more that just her subject and gave her experiences she would not have had if she had stayed local. She is happy and content with her life and that, as her mother, is all I would ever want her to be. Money means nothing if earning it makes a person unhappy.

PicaK · 21/02/2021 08:21

If you listen to her opinions as much as you do to the people on this thread I pity her

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