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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want to keep my car

91 replies

tafnam · 19/02/2021 21:34

my partner is an environmentalist and she doesn't like the fact I have a car and drive so I decided if I should get a electric car or hybrid as I'm due to change she might be happier but she is reluctant on it she was like why don't I just save my money. So she wants me to have no car at all but im not just going to sell my car and have nothing. I've got a 1.9 golf atm and looking to swap it for a polo 2018 1.2 but she doesn't want me to buy it she was asking why don't I just sell my golf then keep the money but I don't want to do that really.

OP posts:
AnnaFiveTowns · 19/02/2021 22:18

Is your partner vegan?

MiddlesexGirl · 19/02/2021 22:18

You don't have to be 'allowed' a car OP. It is entirely up to you. And whilst you might be tempted, if it's not going to make too much difference to you and if it's going to make things easier with your partner, you really mustn't give it up unless it's something you really want to do for you.
Because you can bet that it won't end with the car. Your partner will always be seeking to control what you do if you give in to her demands on this one.

Original poster
tafnam · 19/02/2021 22:19

@user54328876

Having no transport of your own limits your life options and is a nightmare if you develop health problems.

It takes my DH an hour and a half to get to work on very frequent bus services. His colleague on an earlier shift, who lives over the road, does it in his old banger in ten-twelve minutes.

Don't give it up, it is expensive to get that freedom back if you cannot do without it.

I know my gf gets the bus to work in winter and walks during the summer both she has to get up early for or she'll be late
OP posts:
Original poster
tafnam · 19/02/2021 22:19

@AnnaFiveTowns

Is your partner vegan?
Yes
OP posts:
Original poster
tafnam · 19/02/2021 22:20

@MiddlesexGirl

You don't have to be 'allowed' a car OP. It is entirely up to you. And whilst you might be tempted, if it's not going to make too much difference to you and if it's going to make things easier with your partner, you really mustn't give it up unless it's something you really want to do for you. Because you can bet that it won't end with the car. Your partner will always be seeking to control what you do if you give in to her demands on this one.
True
OP posts:
AnnaFiveTowns · 19/02/2021 22:21

Oh, ok. So you can't use that against her 😁 It really should be your decision. I could see her point if you had a car each or a great big gas guzzler but you have one smallish car between you.

Icanflyhigh · 19/02/2021 22:21

Are you in a relationship with Greta Thunberg?

Seriously, where does she get off telling you to get rid of your car?

Sounds like you'd be better getting rid of the partner to be honest....

Original poster
tafnam · 19/02/2021 22:24

@AnnaFiveTowns

Oh, ok. So you can't use that against her 😁 It really should be your decision. I could see her point if you had a car each or a great big gas guzzler but you have one smallish car between you.
My famliy do have a car each
OP posts:
FAQs · 19/02/2021 22:25

You don’t need to split up over it, just learn to respect each other’s opposing views.

Electric car sounds like a compromise I guess.

Original poster
tafnam · 19/02/2021 22:27

@FAQs

You don’t need to split up over it, just learn to respect each other’s opposing views.

Electric car sounds like a compromise I guess.

I could look at the vw e up
OP posts:
Macncheeseballs · 19/02/2021 22:27

Get a bike, go on

Original poster
tafnam · 19/02/2021 22:28

@Macncheeseballs

Get a bike, go on
Dangers
OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 19/02/2021 22:29

I think its overbearing to demand you dont have a car. Each person is allowed to make a choice and you should be allowed to get the car you want/can afford. If she cant respect your perspective then why should you respect her's.

Original poster
tafnam · 19/02/2021 22:30

@Hankunamatata

I think its overbearing to demand you dont have a car. Each person is allowed to make a choice and you should be allowed to get the car you want/can afford. If she cant respect your perspective then why should you respect her's.
She thinks having no car would be respecting her choice
OP posts:
Macncheeseballs · 19/02/2021 22:33

'Dangers' eh? What's more dangerous than a car?

EileenGC · 19/02/2021 22:33

It should be your choice but please don’t use neighbours and family members having a car as an argument. My family were shocked when I said I wasn’t getting a car (or a licence) because I didn’t need one to function properly, so why should I? I’m perfectly happy with public transport and if anything, it gets me places quicker than a car would do in my city. I couldn’t care less about what my family or neighbours had in their driveways.

You should have a car because YOU want it and need it.

Original poster
tafnam · 19/02/2021 22:35

@Macncheeseballs

'Dangers' eh? What's more dangerous than a car?
A bike is more dangerous. Alsi i might as well walk
OP posts:
EileenGC · 19/02/2021 22:35

A bike isn’t dangerous. Walking, cycling, driving - all acceptable.

And to a PP who mentioned corona and public transport, I happily get on 4 buses and 2 trains each day. My risk and the risk of those around me is extremely tiny if we were to catch Covid. I’m not going to get a car just because there is a pandemic going on - my environmental impact will be much greater and for no good reason.

EileenGC · 19/02/2021 22:37

A bike is more dangerous.

It really isn’t. Although I guess it depends where you live and how your roads are.

Walking is also great. I live an hour away from work and walk most days. It’s fab.

Original poster
tafnam · 19/02/2021 22:38

@EileenGC

It should be your choice but please don’t use neighbours and family members having a car as an argument. My family were shocked when I said I wasn’t getting a car (or a licence) because I didn’t need one to function properly, so why should I? I’m perfectly happy with public transport and if anything, it gets me places quicker than a car would do in my city. I couldn’t care less about what my family or neighbours had in their driveways.

You should have a car because YOU want it and need it.

I want it and need it as well as that I was just saying everyone else around me has one so why should I be the person who sells it. I'd feel left out without a car but I also do really want my car, I am interested in cars as well
OP posts:
Original poster
tafnam · 19/02/2021 22:39

@EileenGC

A bike is more dangerous.

It really isn’t. Although I guess it depends where you live and how your roads are.

Walking is also great. I live an hour away from work and walk most days. It’s fab.

I live near busy roads. I'd just prefer to have my car
OP posts:
BadLad · 19/02/2021 22:39

OK, she used to come in for lifts but doesn't now, if we go out together we have to walk, once we went separate ways and she was on the pavement next to me when I was just driving past her.

That's hilarious.

Are you vegan, or planning to be?

Original poster
tafnam · 19/02/2021 22:40

@BadLad

OK, she used to come in for lifts but doesn't now, if we go out together we have to walk, once we went separate ways and she was on the pavement next to me when I was just driving past her.

That's hilarious.

Are you vegan, or planning to be?

I'm not vegan
OP posts:
BadLad · 19/02/2021 22:45

Pressure to become one is probably on the horizon once the car battle is over.

Elai1978 · 19/02/2021 22:46

Get rid of her and get yourself a nice V8 and a meat-loving petrolhead GF. Life will be much more fun!

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