AIBU to hate going for walks?

[junebaby2020]

I'm still on maternity leave and DH is on furlough. We try to get out for a walk with our 8 month old most days so they can get a change of scenery and some fresh air.

However, I just can't stand going out - I hate the miserable cold weather, the fucking relentless grey skies and the boring, concrete, suburban area we live in with very little to see or do, particularly as everything is shut due to lockdown.

I just feel so lethargic, dread the thought of walking anywhere (it seems like so much effort to walk walk walk for an hour or two) and just CBA - I'd much rather sit at home on the sofa with a cuppa and some biscuits and put my feet up.

Is it normal to feel like this or am I exceptionally lethargic/lazy?

It’s not necessarily the answer to everything, but they can be really key for a lot of people in getting through those early months. Not everyone has friends who have young babies to ask questions of, it can make a huge difference to your mood just speaking to others going through the same stuff and knowing you’re not alone. I’ve spoken to many women for whom those groups are a key part of their social network and support when they’re isolated or lonely in other ways.

It’s not just about the groups, we’re talking about them now in the context of how they’re one thing new parents have had removed from them, but in the wider context it’s just one thing of many. Removing groups alone wouldn’t be as big a deal to some if they could still see friends and family as usual, go on days out, etc. but it really has felt like almost everything has been taken away. And walking is fine but it’s not the panacea some make it out to be.

I’ve made the most of my mat leave nonetheless and didn’t sign the petition to extend mat leave, as much as many see it as a jolly (and gosh, you want it to be!) it’s time to recover from birth and care for your baby, which I’ve been able to do. But it’s okay to feel robbed and disappointed, the social side is the worst for me as my loved ones will never be able to get this time back with him or see him during some really lovely stages.

The stress of the pandemic has absolutely ruined lots of people so I don’t have an issue with people explaining that that’s how they feel about their mat leave, nor do I think it’s ‘too much’. Many have lost their financial security, relationships have been put under strain, they may have lost loved ones to Covid or other illnesses, suffered with mental health issues they might not otherwise have had (exacerbated by loneliness and lack of support). It’s really difficult doing this pretty much alone (and I’ve had the benefit of a fab husband, can’t even begin to imagine how single parents have coped).

It’s not for you or me or anyone else to say someone’s experience of new parenthood during a pandemic being ruined is too much.

@miimblemomble - I can well understand why farmers wouldn't feel the need to go for a walk in the countryside when they are out in it all the time, quite apart from the fact that they wouldn't need the exercise.

But I must admit I find the idea that walks are pointless activities for townies and incomers a bit snide. If it weren't for the fact that townies and incomers are drawn to my beautiful rural area to walk here, it would be pretty much dead, economically-speaking.

@lazylinguist

It's totally snide! I get that. Maybe it's payback for all those years of being called a teuchter at school.. :-)

A lot of this comes down to changing beliefs about what the countryside is for. James Rebank's book is a good read if you are interested in this - he's a sheep farmer in the Lakes, who has gradually come round to the recognition that other people can value "his" places as much as he does, just in a different way.

Walkers and townies bring nothing to my part of the rural idyll. Locals have been priced out of the housing by rich retirees from down south. Many of the family farms (including the one that I grew up on) have been broken up: the big farmhouses with their Aga-ready kitchens have been sold to high-income lawyers / professors / doctors from our nearest city and the farmland is leased out to agribusinesses, which - rather than providing local jobs - bring in gangs of poorly-paid casual workers to plant / strip a field in a day. The local school - which had 30 pupils in my day - currently has 4 pupils: incomers are generally retired and have no school-age children, or they are sufficiently wealthy that they prefer to drive their children to the private school in the local city each day. Suffice to say - there are lots of keen walkers living there now :-)

Sorry for going O/T.

I love walking to get somewhere, wouldn't even consider getting in the car for anything under 2 miles. I really enjoy my walk to work. Going for a walk for the sake of it? Fuck that.

Get some earphones and either download audio books or podcasts - can recommend duchess the podcast at the mo, or Jason Manford or Frank Skinner. Get an app like map my walk, and try to make pictures from your route - I found a route that looks like the outline of a pig.I like an hour's walk on my own, but if I had nowt to listen to I would get bored.

James Rebank's book is a good read if you are interested in this - he's a sheep farmer in the Lakes, who has gradually come round to the recognition that other people can value "his" places as much as he does, just in a different way.

Thanks - that sounds interesting! I speak as a lifelong southerner turned incomer in Cumbria (just on the edge of the Lakes). I love it here and mostly find the locals really friendly, but it's noticeable that a lot of the proper locals consider the countryside as unremarkable background, whereas people like us who have moved here for the lifestyle seem to appreciate it a lot more. But that's not because they are farners and we are people with townie-type jobs. Dh and I are teachers, work in village schools and are therefore very much part of the local community. Many of the proper locals have more 'town' type jobs than we do.