Aibu to enjoy my colleague flirting with me?

[Pinkairballoon]

As the title says really. I’m happily married with two children and have worked in my job for a year. We’re all office based. A new male colleague has arrived three months ago and flirts all day with me and I really enjoy the attention.

I’m quite plain and average so it’s not something that happens to me all the time... or ever! He’s so interested in what I say, buys me little things (coffee on his way in etc) messages on teams all day. He said to the whole office if he won the lottery he’d treat me to my dream holiday but I have to go with him and not my husband and kids. I laugh it off and never encourage him but on some level I really enjoy the attention which I know is shocking as I’m happily married.

Aibu to enjoy this extra attention?

I love a harmless flirt. We’re constantly doing it at work but the difference is no ones zeroed in on one particular person to flirt with and shone their beam on them alone.

This is not just a flirty bloke this is someone who has targeted you and it’s from my outsider perspective creepy.

"but probably haven’t said that it’s flirty. I don’t know why."

Yes you do.

@ooohbriefcase I was thinking exactly that.

@Pinkairballoon you haven’t told your husband because you know that what you’re doing is not ok. If flirting in this way is not behaviour you and your husband have agreed is ok within your relationship (eg: some people have open marriages so this would be fine) then you shouldn’t be doing it and you know it.

It’s irrelevant what boundaries everyone else on mumsnet has as all relationships are different, it’s about what boundaries you and your husband have. If you know you’re crossing those boundaries then stop.

SarahBellam

Is he a young lad and you’re a middle age woman? Are you sure he’s not just passing the time?

I suspect this is very close to the mark when I think about it. He's not that much younger than me but there’s probably truth in it.

Does he see you as “safe” for flirting e.g. too old, too married for anyone to take it seriously?
I’d be worried about looking a bit of a fool for reading too much into his very public attention.

I can see your point, the trouble is that you will 100% look a bit of an idiot giggling and simpering at it.

Which isn't a great position to be in, when you're in the office.

I can see your point, the trouble is that you will 100% look a bit of an idiot giggling and simpering at it.
This is quite true. Rightly or wrongly, there's a different impression given with 2 colleagues of a similar flirting vs someone much older/much younger.

He sounds like a creep and a bit of a sexist git. Be careful.

I voted YABU because I think the flirting is going further than that by buying you things and the holiday announcement to the whole office would embarrass me. I would also hate the idea of a woman acting the same towards my DH at his office.

But of harmless flirting - no problem but this sounds a bit predatory to me.

If your husband was receiving the same attention from a pretty young lady what would you think. I’d knock it on the head.

I think he could stray into the territory of undermining you in your job and objectifying you rather than seeing you as an equal. I think it's a bit undermining and manipulative. What's he after.
But I would love it if there was such a thing as platonic flirting because it is fun but I avoid because I would rather stay well on the right side of the line.

The fact that you wouldn’t like it if your DH flirted like this tells you what you need to know. You know that you need to put a stop to this.