To be surprised how many parents can't afford children's footwear?

[moita]

I must have been living under a rock but: I recently started volunteering for a charity that donates coats to children who need one.

I live in a village just outside a deprived city and we have lots of requests for coats from struggling parents.

It was eye-opening. We then started having the same request: for footwear, most specifically wellies. We put out social media messages for used but good condition wellies. Lots of people donated and they were all pretty much snapped up.

I've got to say: I was surprised, naively so? I felt guilty buying my toddler wellies from the supermarket but here were parents happy to take used ones away. And a lot of the people who came to use are single mums who have fallen on hard times.

I don't know. I just feel so sad that our service is so needed.

This reminds me if growing up. My df was a single dad and his priorities were a pair of shoes, a coat and a Library card!
We lived in a village with no charity shops. I remember buying shoes was always really stressful, probably because he was spending cash he didn’t really have. Luckily I think we did PE in bare feet. It’s a shame this is still an issue and people are expected to provide so much

My boys both needed new shoes and wellies recently.
So four pairs to buy in total. A lot of the ‘cheaper’ shops like Asda don’t have a lot in stock in all sizes online. eBay is hit and miss- often items in very good condition can be bid up to almost shop-price once you add postage. Well-used shoes pointless and false economy.

School shoes a big expense too. Cheap ones fall apart and need replacing quickly. When you have two or more kids it can really add up.

Good children’s shoes are so expensive. You loo u can’t always buy shoes in the sale as you never know when and what size your children will be.

@diggetydoolittle - MSE forums are more friendly than mumsnet for help with money issues.

@MyDiamondShoesAreTooTight

This is why the independent children’s shoe shops are on the decline. Many people are not using them. People do not prioritise decent children’s shoes. Many people who I know who are comfortably well off choose to buy second hand and resent paying more than £20 for a pair of shoes.

I do find though that independent shoe shops don’t leave enough growing room in them and my ds is out of them within 5 weeks or so I buy independent shoe shop brands but online.

Trouble is you can prioritise all you want, if you can afford it. Last time I got new shoes for my two, they had both gone up a size. That means new trainers for out of school plus new school shoes plus wellies for each child at a bare minimum. They may also need plimsolls or PE trainers. Then if it’s summer, they may need sandals.

So even if we go for the basic three pairs per child (trainers, school shoes, wellies) it’s a small fortune. I would love to prioritise good quality footwear but if I don’t have the money, I don’t have the money. So, cheap and cheerful it is. I do try and save shoes from the eldest for the youngest but they have different width feet so it doesn’t always work.

The difference as an adult is that my feet don’t grow so I don’t need to replace all my shoes in one hit.

I’m not surprised.
DD has had 2 coats stolen from the changing rooms at the local swimming pool.
First time we thought bad luck , second time we realised that there must be desperate people out there.
We always give outgrown clothes/coats/shoes on giving sites. They are usually snapped up.

My dd went to school one day with brand new shoes (Clarks) and came back with some identical type but old scuffed pair half a size different. No-one ever owned up to that one!

Shoes are expensive, at least decent school shoes are. I don't mind buying £10 trainers from Shoezone or wellies cheaply, but decent school shoes cost a lot and on the odd occasion I bought cheap, the 'leather' such as it was just split, same with plastic. I did stick with Clarks and always went for the slightly bigger size and they used to last most of a year. That's £40 plus though for one child.

It is sad but shoes in particular can look really tatty very easily.

When I was a child people often used to wear their school shoes on weekends, that's something not done now, so the pressure is on to have several different pairs (sandals, trainers for school, trainers for home, wellies and school shoes, I don't see how you can get away with less than that really). I used to get my kids canvas pumps in Primark for weekends as a cheap solution to the weekend shoe problem but it's not great if it rains!

Yabu OP. A little naive.
I wince at the cost of shoes and we don’t have money worries! And I’m well aware that the average earnings are well below what I earn, and that poverty in this country is too too high.
People are very proud and there’s a sense of shame around affordability. Too many daily mail readers think that “the Poor” are spending money on big TVs instead.

This country is a fucking embarrassment.

Where are you OP?

[quote Esse321]@diggetydoolittle - MSE forums are more friendly than mumsnet for help with money issues.[/quote]
I don't need help with money issues but thanks all the same.
I am happy with my priorities, they are as they should be.

A lot of people are going to get free stuff rather than pay for it if they can.

I buy from the outlet stores, actual ones or online (Clarks or Startrite). Until school age I bought once, then handed them down, so younger siblings wore them and we got 3 wears out of each pair. My mum was horrified but really, they get so little wear.
I do find they just want to wear wellies or crocs most of the time so it's pointless spending much on other shoes.
I guess for my 2 primary kids they get school shoes and trainers once a year, £30 a pair. So that's £120. Plus wellies and (fake) crocs, another £30. My youngest has never had her own new shoes yet.
So at the mo I am spending £150 a year on kids shoes for 3 kids, but I can see that rising as they get bigger and their needs change.

We have a local free stuff page on social media which is meant to help people who really need items. I’ve gave away lots of new and very good condition items, quite a lot designer too as my son has expensive taste. Unfortunately not everyone is as genuine and in need. I’ve found the items on a selling page not long after I gave them away.

keep voting for your political parties.......THIS is what they reduce YOU to!!!!!!!!!!

My ds would wear through a pair of shoes every month until he was a teenager. It made no difference whether they were expensive or cheap, leather or nylon, etc. He didn't do sports... I have no idea how they got worn...I was wondering if he was secretly gnawing on them under his desk at school.

It was expensive keeping him in shoes.

It’s not necessary the cost - my sister has never spent more than £5-10 on children’s shoes. She buys at supermarket sales. It’s that they grow out of them so fast that you could easily be spending that much 10 times a year and for parents with 2 or 3 kids it soon adds up. Add the fact that schools and nurseries usually require indoor and outdoor and sports shoes it can become hugely expensive.

Having said that, however, I don’t think it’s essential to buy kids wellies when living in cities unless you live somewhere where it snows a lot. I imagine there’s an uptick in demand for this because of the current weather but even I as someone who can afford it wouldn’t bother otherwise.

I said YABU because I was given ill-fitting shoes when young and my feet have never really recovered. I constantly curled my toes to fit into them and I still do now.

I'm hoping to have private surgery to straighten them out in the near future.

Due to this I have always gone over and above to make sure my boys have the best fitting shoes regardless of the price. We can afford it though and I feel for those parents who can't. Children's shoes are a huge industry and sometimes i feel like I'm being conned but I'll do anything to make sure my boys feet remain lovely. For those parents who can't afford well-fitting shoes, I really do feel for them. They're so bloody expensive.

Children's shoes are so expensive, I honestly resent the prices. £40 for tiny shoes that will be too small too soon? I always buy in the sale, any sale!

Anyone looking to donate - if you have a school uniform bank locally they’ll likely take good condition coats, and some will take shoes as well.

Sounds like you're a bit... sheltered... but good for you for doing something to help. A couple of years ago I was living in one of the most deprived areas of London and would often see various kids walking to school in bin bags when it was raining.

@littlepieces

Sounds like you're a bit... sheltered... but good for you for doing something to help. A couple of years ago I was living in one of the most deprived areas of London and would often see various kids walking to school in bin bags when it was raining.

I did it as did most of the kids at my school. When you live in a deprived area it’s standard. Gets the job done and as a parent I wouldn’t even blink twice if my son did that.

I volunteered somewhere similar for a bit. It was heartbreaking.

My church does a winter coat drive. The line starts forming the night before.

I handed down winter footwear from DC to DC, did footwear (and outerwear) exchanges with cousins and neighbours, and bought second hand too. When I bought new footwear I bought it on sale or at a discount place.

Shoes should be a priority your feet need to support you a lifetime. I know they are expensive but it is better to have one pair that fit than five that don't. I always buy new and good brands often on sale, and shop around, I polish them if they are leather, it really helps. In terms of wellies, I always look at the rubber some are very unforgiving, we had some £5 dunlop ones that were good. Ask grandparents, aunts and uncles for shoes on birthdays etc. It is so important, I was thinking of becoming a podiatrist at one point so I'm pretty clued up. Coats, clothes can all be second hand but with shoes it is better to have new and good fit and quality . I realise for some people it might not be possible but there are bargains to be had, I got my son some really good leather trainers in a closing down sale they were £10 recently. I've lived on the smell of an oil rag in the past and always managed to get good shoes, Clark's outlets are good. Please prioritise your child's feet.

@OneRingToRuleThemAll

Children's shoes are as expensive as adults, but are outgrown in a matter of weeks.

Hmm wonder if its possible to make an expandandable shoe