To be surprised how many parents can't afford children's footwear?

[moita]

I must have been living under a rock but: I recently started volunteering for a charity that donates coats to children who need one.

I live in a village just outside a deprived city and we have lots of requests for coats from struggling parents.

It was eye-opening. We then started having the same request: for footwear, most specifically wellies. We put out social media messages for used but good condition wellies. Lots of people donated and they were all pretty much snapped up.

I've got to say: I was surprised, naively so? I felt guilty buying my toddler wellies from the supermarket but here were parents happy to take used ones away. And a lot of the people who came to use are single mums who have fallen on hard times.

I don't know. I just feel so sad that our service is so needed.

I feel so lucky my ds is destined to have small feet. I’m only a 3 and dh a 7/8. Ds’s feet grow pretty slowly and we generally wear shoes out before growing out so for us it’s worth good quality. I really feel for those with very tall very big footed kids who grow a size in a few months.

Can believe people find it hard to afford new things - esp if they're furloughed or have lost their job.

There's lots of local FB sites wheee you can give stuff away for free. We're in a 'chain' of clothes/outdoor footwear (we're number 2 of 7) so some wellies/ coats etc have lasted through 7 boys.

I feel for parents with several children - it's hard if they all need stuff at once. I do think as a society we should make it easier to pass things on. I know my own parents didn't like taking hand me downs as they thought it singled them out, whereas I'm only too happy to accept things from number 1 and I equally enjoy passing them down to number 3!

Really? You know “many well-off people” who buy secondhand shoes for their children? Where are they buying them with charity shops having been closed for months?

eBay, Facebook marketplace, word of mouth...all are busier than ever now with people have clearing outs.

Around here I meant to add at the end.

@MizMoonshine

I'm genuinely shocked by this. As a single mum on minimum wage, I could always afford my son's shoes. That's his school shoes, plus two kinds for PE and a few pairs of trainers plus a pair of wellies and slippers. I got them from the super market and they'd come in anywhere from £3-£15 a pair. Are times really that dire now?

DS has very wide feet, to get them wide enough in supermarkets we have to go up a few sizes and he ends up tripping over all the time. He then wrecks them in two to three weeks.

He's had Clarks that have lasted him for months - until he's outgrown them essentially. Even there we have to take what they have in his size as he's so wide we have little choice, thankfully the school don't insist on black shoes!

But we can pay the money upfront for the decent shoes, though I try to get them in sales if I can because they do cost a lot.

I think it’s all about priorities.

Do you mean priorities like food, rent, utilities, childcare costs? People aren't struggling because they're jetting off on holidays and buying whopping great TVs to watch while they suck down thirty fags a day. They're struggling because wages - particularly minimum wage - aren't enough to live on, because low-skilled jobs rely on the gig economy and zero hours contracts meaning insecure incomes, because unemployment is rising and is set to keep on rising, because rent and childcare costs have outstripped incomes, and because the punitive welfare system perpetuates the poverty trap and punishes poor people for the crime of being poor. Prioritising is all well and good but if you've only got a couple of quid left to see you through the week then no amount of prioritising is going to magic it into a pair of wellies.

DD wore through a pair of shoes per term in her first couple of years at school. I tried cheap ones, expensive ones, mid range ones, all were the same. We’re fortunate we could afford it.

I currently have a bag of 6 pairs of shoes barely worn that we’ve needed to replace since March last year because she has had 2 new sets of AFO splints. She’s about to get a new set so that usually means new indoor and outdoor shoes.

I’ve just had to buy dd 8 a whole new wardrobe, she’s shot up and despite the daily exercise she beefed up a bit. We always donate to charity. Unless it’s something she’s only used once or new that got pushed to the back of her draw then it goes to my little sister. I’m lucky I can just buy new stuff, but I save money each month for when growth spurts occur. DS13 had a new wardrobe every 6 months for the last 3 years he’s grown so much, luckily he doesn’t wear clothes too often ( has asd and pj & pants are his best friends) any uniform they out grown always went to school for spares.

I think it’s all about priorities.

You are absolutely right. That is why my DC had meat, vegetables and rice for their evening meal and I just had rice with some of the sauce.

You sound very naïve. Especially if you already knew about the demand the costs.
You sound like the naïvety might come from having a wee bit more money than sense, if you truly felt guilty (really? 🙄) about buying supermarket wellies.

Another than that - yes it’s a disgrace that people can’t afford to clothe their children. Second hand as a CHOICE is great, not otherwise.

@Walkerbean16

One of my daughters has been in adult trainer size since she was 9, they are twice the price of children's sizes.

I have four kids, a pair of school shoes each is over £200. then they need plimsolls football boots and trainers as well as regular shoes, boots for winter and wellies.

We can afford this but I can easily see how anyone could struggle even with just one child.

So are the school shoes £200 or do you mean between them?

I never bought Winter Boots till they were older for my dc only wellies

The pressure on many parents must be high.

The nurseries I’ve worked in asked parents to supply wellies. One of my colleagues and manager were quite pushy that the children all have a pair of wellies that stayed at nursery, so that they could always be there and never forgotten. Likewise, they asked for full waterproof suits and coats to be left at nursery. Thankfully most of us had the sense to see why some parents didn’t want to leave them at nursery - because that meant two pairs of boots, two coats, two all-in-one suits, and were fine with parents bringing them in on the day.

My friend was saying just the other day that her child’s (state) school requires a pair of trainers and plimsolls and wellies in school at all times plus the school shoes. And like many here, she was telling me she’s spent a fortune replacing four pairs for school plus some home trainers and wellies.

I also find it staggering seeing little ones in Ugg’s, Hunters etc. Adult can equal good investment because they last. Child, waste of money. Fair play if you manage to get a bargain pair from eBay or Fb Market.

@Mrbob

Why would you be surprised?! There is huge poverty in the UK and kids shoes are a never ending stream of expense and not one that you can exactly defer till next year Maybe it is a useful opportunity to think about what else people have to go without

This.

I have tonnes of shoes and wellies my dc have outgrown, I’ve tried selling them on (they’re v good brands) and giving away but no one is ever interested so I just put them in the recycling bin in Clark’s now! Point me to a charity I can donate them to and I’ll be there!!

MY SiL was telling me they had a bit of a sort out and passed on some small children's wellies to friends of their last week that had my ds's name in..... he is now 25 and I suspect they were handed down to us.

Footwear is hugely expensive. I am on a decent wage, but with my son having issues with his feet/tendons, buying shoes is a big issue.

He can go through 5 pairs of shoes in a school year at £80 a pair. On top of that he has trainers, football and futsal boots and a pair of wellies.

He is now in adult sizes so even more expensive.

We were extremely fortunate to have been gifted 4 pairs of brand new football boots from a local premier league academy - I am so grateful.

He had a new pair of school shoes back in October (slightly different style than usual) and he had to walk home from school in his socks. Ankle and toes covered in blisters. Another £80 down the drain. He wore his trainers for a few weeks until Clark’s sourced me his usual pair.

I have no idea how parents on low incomes manage.

I'm surprised more people don't use Crocs. They don't need exact fitting, last for ever, are waterproof and come up like new in the machine. You can then swap them with people whose DC have larger or smaller feet.

To give things away, there's Freecycle or I'm sure a row of wellies left on the pavement would be picked up?

It would be good if there could be more easy ways of swapping.

Sadly our wages are not keeping with inflation leaving a lot of people in poverty. Kid's shoes are expensive and they are outgrown very quickly and then you need to get so many types, school shoes, winter shoes etc.. It all adds up with all the other things you need to get

Not sure why youre surprised .I taught in a deprived part of Derby in the 80's. Most of the reception childen didn't know what meat was, had only ever used a spoon not a knife & fork & clothes wise were obviously in v v worn hand me downs ,& 2nd & 3rd hand charity shop stuff.

It depends on many factors, how many kids, how quick their feet grow, what requirements they have and of course budget.

My friend's DD has gone up 3 shoe sizes last year alone. She's had to replace everything (or at least school shoes and trainers for PE) several times,and now her feet have grown again. Wellies were not a priority.

I buy almost all my kids' shoes on eBay or Facebook. Bizarrely kids' shoes sell really badly, I get lovely quality se and Nd hand shoes for a fraction of the new price (and we could comfortably afford new). I'm interested why more people don't do the same.

YABNU to be up to now unaware (especially as your reaction when made aware was to show empathy and to reach out to find out more) but objectively it’s fairly odd to be exposed to statistics about child poverty, including working poverty, and then be surprised about it.

I've never been able to afford clarks shoes for my kids, I've always got them from supermarkets, shoezone, and sports direct for their trainers. I used to to get them donnay trainers for £6-7 when they were little and didn't care about brands. Thankfully they all have average size feet.
Their coats always come from supermarkets or primark, if not second hand. Luckily none of their schools ever demanded expensive uniforms.
It's a shame that some parents can't afford these very reasonable prices, everyone (child and adult) should have a warm winter coat, hat and gloves and proper footwear.

As tinies ours just had leather winter shoes and before school summer doodles. At 4ish they had trainers added. Wellies, plimsolls, slippers were handed down. Families swapped football boots and dance shoes.

I recall dd spent an entire summer aged about 10 in a pair of £3 Shoe Zone canvas pumps.

Fortunately their feet didn't seem to grow exponentially but 1/2 a size at a time. Our biggest issue was that they were both wide, dd in particular and how tired she was of Start-Rite Alexandre which was the only style that came in an H fitting.

Startrite sale / outlet - half the normal price and because they are decent leather they stretch so can just about last a school year. Mine get one decent pair of trainers in the sale and a couple of cheap pairs from Asda/Sainsbury's/H&M.