To be surprised how many parents can't afford children's footwear?

[moita]

I must have been living under a rock but: I recently started volunteering for a charity that donates coats to children who need one.

I live in a village just outside a deprived city and we have lots of requests for coats from struggling parents.

It was eye-opening. We then started having the same request: for footwear, most specifically wellies. We put out social media messages for used but good condition wellies. Lots of people donated and they were all pretty much snapped up.

I've got to say: I was surprised, naively so? I felt guilty buying my toddler wellies from the supermarket but here were parents happy to take used ones away. And a lot of the people who came to use are single mums who have fallen on hard times.

I don't know. I just feel so sad that our service is so needed.

My daughter's foot size changes every 3-4 months.
Not surprised people can't afford them. Flip flops and wellies come from the supermarket for us.

Yes OP, you’ve been living under a rock. Poverty & deprivation runs deep & wide in the U.K. I applaud you for your volunteering and for admitting that you had no idea this is going on. Maybe posts like this will make others realise that a lot of people struggle to feed & clothe themselves and their children.

@Bythemillpond I've just told you many reasons why but as you don't want to listen I'm not sure why you're continuing the conversation other than to prove that you're correct even when you're talking about things that you clearly don't understand. So ok, you're right. There. Does that make things better?

I help out with a Welly Library that is run by the local NCT branch in south Devon.

We want to help out people who find it expensive to buy wellies for there kids but struggle to get takers for them. The people who do borrow them are more than able to afford wellies but want to borrow some more for environmental reasons.

We stock infant size 3 up to adults size 2 and I have nearly 100 pairs sitting in my garage ready and waiting.
I would love to be able to get them to the kids and families that really need them.
We publicize on Facebook and with posters. What else can we do?

@Lockandtees

I would love to know how many of these single mothers receive a decent amount of child maintenance. I think a lot of child poverty would be eradicated by forcing feckless fathers to provide for their offspring. There’s very little a woman can do if a father just decides not to pay (or hides his real earnings because he’s self employed).

This is brought up on threads like this that might have a chance of a single mum on it and while I agree I think a lot of people use this reasoning to let the government get away with failing its duty of care to its citizens, the fact that so many people live in poverty because for the last decade the Tory party have systematically started cutting money from any service that might help those in poverty, expecting the Tories to do anything about the poverty they have created is nothing more than wishing thinking, theyre already begrudging the extra £20 that was given to UC claimants that wasnt given to legacy benefit claimants

I'll go back and read the rest of the thread now

When my niece was born my SIL was given £500 from her grandmother to pay for her shoes. GM thought that would be enough to get her through to adulthood but she's 7 now and the money is long gone.

There are LOTS of bargains and freebies to be had on social site NextDoor.
I belong to my local (and slightly wider area) site and we help each other, give info about many different things plus heads-up re scams and recommends for tradesmen.
It's not for everyday chit chat or dating.
Worth a look on yours.

I give and receive things from.the local clothes bank. In the first lockdown it was really hard when three of my kids had a growth spurt. Normally I would go to Primark but that wasnt possible.

It's easier this time as I made sure I was better stocked up and I have got better at checking every child has core essential clothes. But if shoes are 15-20 a pop for casual cheap trainers and joggers are £7 at the very cheapest I can see how even people on modest wages could find themselves in a pickle right now. I'm normally having a monthly browse of the sales or Primark. But three months without shops open and growth spurts it pinches the cost all at once.

I left the UK before I had kids and have been doing my child rearing in countries that don't have Clark's, but also have a different approach to footwear in general. We don't wear shoes in the house, so we all either go barefoot or wear socks indoors. Nurseries/primary schools dont allow shoes either, and they have to wear either non-slip socks or croc-style shoes that stay indoors. Sometimes I will go to an independent shoe shop if they have a sale on, or to a sports shop for trainers. Generally though, I am happy to buy cheapish shoes for my kids and they spend so much of the day barefoot (or almost) and an hour or two each day outdoors in H & M shoes isn't going to wreck their feet. The culture in the UK to have a good pair of shoes for children to wear all day is different, and I understand why parents cant afford it, especially as kids feet keep growing all the time!

What is the charity accepting coats? I am in midlands and have a lovely warm one DS refuses to wear but all the local charities I've tried say they arent collecting due to covid but the rate we're going it'll be mild again before we can it to them!

For all those looking to donate shoes, there is an excellent charity called Sals Shoes (www.salsshoes.com/) who accept preloved shoes and send them to children all over the world, including in the UK, where they also run a program to donate school shoes for the start of the autumn term for those who need them.

When I was pregnant I could pay all the bills solo, and put £1000 a month away to cover mat leave. At this point I can't earn commission, I am being topped up to minimum wage, DH is furloughed on 80% of minimum wage, we're still paying a retainer for childcare, despite having no need for it, and DH gives me half his wage for the bills and food. Payday is Friday and I have £6 left, 70 miles to empty in the petrol tank, and food, thank goodness. If we'd had to splash out for shoes or a coat this month, we wouldn't have food.

@CathyTurnbull, I am really hurt by your post. I've eaten one meal a day since July, so my child can eat, and I've lost 32lbs. The pandemic is hitting me hard, but I'm still lucky that I'm not the hardest hit.

Gosh I thought before I opened the thread you were being sneery at people claiming not to be able to afford.
When you first have your eyes opened to the bubble you live in it's quite emotional.
Hugs. Keep going with your volunteering.

@Lottieskeeper I do buy second hand wellies for my little one, but I don't think I would use a welly library that was free. I would be worried that if I lost the wellies or they worn out then I would have to pay for replacements. I'd be more likely to use a welly library if there was a small deposit of say a £1 as then I would know what my maximum liability was.

I'd probably also be more likely to use one if it was presented as a cost effective, time efficient and green way to reuse wellies rather than if I thought it was mainly aimed at parents struggling with the cost of shoes as I'm not sure I struggle enough that it would include me.

I think it's awful how much children's shoes cost. I had to buy my 18 month old a pair of: boots, trainers and wellies in November, and then again this week as he'd went up half a size! About £70 each time! A friend told me to only buy from Clarks when they're so young, but I'm looking forward to when I can buy cheaper footwear in other places!

Not all schools. And you are living in a different world if you think there are not children out there wearing the same pair of shoes all the time!

Sorry that was in reply to @kawari

An 18 month old does not need: boots, trainers and wellies. An 18 month old needs one pair of well fitting shoes.

@ConfusedBear useful points I will raise them with the other volunteers, thank you.

The boots are of course for anyone to borrow and we do make a point of marketing as 'good for the environment and your purse'.

My two year old has a pair of sturdy shoes and a pair of wellies. Not sure why he’d need trainers as well.

When I was in primary school in the early 80's we didn't have our own wellies. When wellies were needed we all trooped off to the big garage and tried on out of the 100's lined up until we found a pair that fit! I don't remember having wellies out of school. Was probably my slightly bonkers school. I don't understand why schools don't just have more of this sort of stuff to lend though. Likewise for the nativity play / class assembly the teachers got out the big dressing up box and we all found a costume. It's nuts how we are all buying new stuff from Amazon in a panic these days.

Justanotherposter this kind of thing is nothing new, and happened when labour were in power as well.
Obviously the pandemic is exceptional circumstances, but plenty of parents struggled to provide essentials for their kids, long before the last 10 years. I know because I was one of them.

We've found it expensive since DD started school. Before that she had one pair of shoes (sandal type in summer, more boot-like in winter) and wellies. We found that school expected us to leave PE kit including trainers, wellies and a puddle suit at school (they rarely come home - presumably this is Covid restrictions). DD is at school on keyworker place - the wellies and PE kit have been home twice since Sept, haven't seen the puddle suit since then.
Which means we've had to get a second pair of wellies and puddle suit to have at home for all the weekend/holiday time as the only thing to do is be outside in the mud!
So, we've gone from needing one pair shoes, puddle suit and wellies at a time, to one pair shoes, trainers, two pairs wellies, two puddle suits. Fortunately some of that we got secondhand and our costs have gone right down with lockdown, but even if you buy the cheaper stuff this all adds up, and this is just for one child!

There are often local 'baby bank's networks that take baby and children's goods, from prams and toys, to maternity pads and wipes. They'd probably take shoes and coats too.
Google 'baby bank' in your area. Some might have different names. Many have online/Facebook presence.

Referring to my last comment, many will still collect in covid times