To ask what advice you would give to yourself at 40?

[HamnetandJudith]

I wish I had asked this question when I was 21. But if you are older than 40, what advice would you give to your 40 year old self?

I feel much wiser than I was at 21, but I also feel that my field of opportunity has narrowed, particularly career wise. I want to make the right choices now.

Get healthy, lose weight, look after yourself, ditch the booze.

I am still 40 at the moment, so it's a work in progress

That life starts and if you're smart about it it can be the best decade of your life.

Honestly my 40s have been the best years of my life. I've never understood the fear people have of 40.

I ditched a useless husband at 42, changed careers, improved my social life, learned how to be a good single mother, lost a ton of weight, found a nice new partner and just started enjoying life again.

Part of that was luck but I think a lot of it was refusing to be saddled with this idea that you have to be over the hill because you have hit some arbitrary milestone defined by men.

The one bit of advice I would give is to laugh in the face of people who tell you you're too old. For anything. And say yes to stuff. Not career you're in or your prospects, but don't be scared to try whatever you want to do.

JFDI - Just Effing Do It! I wish I’d taken more risks when I was 21 - traveled more, moved areas, tried different jobs. I’ve not taken chances because I’ve been too hesitant and I wish I had been a bit braver and a bit less sensible.

Following with interest!

I would tell myself to really go mad and enjoy myself , because overnight you become 65 and a pandemic 😷 will knacker your retirement plans to travel the world carefree.

dont worry about people judgin you etc do what u want im in my 40ss into my fashion pretty green etc sum childish people say i dress to young but i get loads of complements on my fashion when im out

I'm mid-forties and following this thread. I think @Crunchymum has hit the nail on the head for me. Still working on it too, but trying to enjoy the process and little victories. Also need to stop worrying, it really does no good and most of what I worried about in my twenties and thirties never materialised. What a waste of time!

I really like this thread so far, it feels hopeful! I really want to take the plunge and change career (once the time is right) and to do something that really fulfils me. I look back on my early 20s with regret and I don’t want to have regrets anymore. I had dc young - so it can be my time now.

It depends where you are at in your life. I'm in my 40s and have to accept some things I can't change, not because I'm too old, but because I have people depending on me to keep a roof over their heads. However if I didn't have DC and a mortgage maybe I would go and travel, retrain etc.

Age is not really an issue but life stage is.

Get divorced now and embrace fun in life properly, don't wait until you're nearly 50.
Your 40s will be wasted on him and once you hit 50, your health will suddenly deteriorate and make life a lot harder to enjoy in the same way.

I can’t travel or stop paying my mortgage to retrain, but there are changes I can make within those limits.

Lose the extra weight now, not 20 years later when its HARD.

• ditch your DP if you are not happy with the relationship.
• start using Sun cream all year round.
• Don't sunbath
• Make sure your pension is on the right track
• start exercising / get a great diet.
• Mosturise
• Read more
• Do more things that you enjoy doing.
• You have more than half of your working life left - reevaluate.

@StrikeWhileTheCoffeeIsHot

* ditch your DP if you are not happy with the relationship. * start using Sun cream all year round. * Don't sunbath * Make sure your pension is on the right track * start exercising / get a great diet. * Mosturise * Read more * Do more things that you enjoy doing. * You have more than half of your working life left - reevaluate.

This

I ditched my dp in my early 30s and v happily married again. Definitely need to start using sun cream.

That life is about to get much better.
You will be happier, fitter, richer than you ever have been.

Following with interest! 38 and in need of a good shake.

ditch your DP if you are not happy with the relationship.
start using Sun cream all year round.
Don't sunbath
Make sure your pension is on the right track
start exercising / get a great diet.
Mosturise
Read more
Do more things that you enjoy doing.
You have more than half of your working life left - reevaluate.

This reminds me of that “sunscreen” song - you should set it to music

**bold fail!

Buy bitcoin

Cut off your hair and buy some sensible shoes.

According to my mother 🤣.

I'm 43 and haven't done either yet.

I am 39. Newly divorced, redundant and totally lost at the moment. I need hope!

Be more assertive and maintain your boundaries, it doesn't matter what people think of you.

When after 2 years, you realize that your next partner is abusive, DO NOT go back, it gets worse and counselling will cost you a fortune.

Have more confidence in yourself, and go for it! Lifes too short to piss around.

I'm only 42 but loving 40s. I'm so much more me. I'm happy with who I am. I wear the clothes I want and like. I dye my hair whatever colour and don't care if an one else likes it. I'm so much more confident and stand up for myself. I don't second guess myself.

Be more assertive and maintain your boundaries, it doesn't matter what people think of you

I was 50 before I realised that I didn't need to take crap from people, very liberating.

BTW - totally agree with moisturising, I use Clarins but any good cream will do.