To ask what advice you would give to yourself at 40?

[HamnetandJudith]

I wish I had asked this question when I was 21. But if you are older than 40, what advice would you give to your 40 year old self?

I feel much wiser than I was at 21, but I also feel that my field of opportunity has narrowed, particularly career wise. I want to make the right choices now.

@MaLarkinn

Have more sex.

Definitely this one. I got to 49 and my body just doesn’t want it anymore.

I couldnt be bothered either but that feels like a l8berating blessing to me, 50 and single!

@YukoandHiro (Excellent name btw 😁) I did the same thing re: staying for the maternity leave and regret it now, as I'm about to be made redundant with a two year old. Ffs.

This thread is excellent reading, thank you. Fellow 81er here, and I know I need to make some changes but I'm fucking exhausted from having a toddler and working almost full time during a pandemic. I need to look after myself better - at the moment I'm just not a priority. My mum only lost the weight when I went to uni, I really can't wait that long!

I'm also thinking about going into the civil service, but can't afford the pay cut. I'm fairly senior in an industry that's looking risky, and don't want to go any higher, utterly fed up with corporate bullshit, and just want to get on with the job I'm good at. I definitely work to live but it seems that's not permitted anymore.

I definitely don't care what people think though and haven't for a good 10 years, so I'm getting something right!

Love this thread. I'm 41 in May and can't believe how fast the last year has gone. Moved into a house that we love last year in a much quieter area. I'm working more hours and enjoying having the extra money to treat myself, am also doing a course which should benefit my career in the long run. Have been steadily losing weight since the beginning of the year, and have come off of ADs unscathed. The pandemic and turning 40 has definitely made me think a lot more about health - physical and mental.

Great thread. I'm an 81er too with a bucket list that has been severely curbed by the pandemic. Most of the things on it (apart from catching up with old friends) require me to be fitter and stronger so I'm going to work on that. And buy moisturiser.

• Value for money and cheap is not the same thing. 👜

• Sex on a first date can be a very positive thing. 💥

• Don’t settle for second best anything. 🌛

• Tights stop in place better without knickers; stop hoisting them up and dare to be different. 💃

• Be proud of who you are and your body. 🤙

• Never forget to kiss, cuddle and laugh. 💋

• Life is in colour; don’t wear beige. 💄

• There is nothing wrong if you’ve kissed a girl you’ve and liked it 🌈 👩‍❤️‍👩

Get a yearly checkup with a private doctor if you can afford it.

Try to keep your weight down- take up exercise

Get rid of a useless dp/dh

Don’t cut your hair if you like it long.

Keep on learning- be it a language , skill etc

Get some great supplements- vitamin D

Sort out pensions/ save

Remember that at forty you are still young so enjoy life

I'm almost 40 and retraining for a complete career change. We started or family late so we can't go off, travel and have this time for just us in that way, so am doing something else for me and ultimatelythe whole family. It will hopefully secure a steady job and pension.

Lessen the make-up, less is more, wear good moisturiser daily, drink less alcohol but more water and take vitamins! That's where I stand at the moment, anyway.

Following I'm about to turn 40 and considering moving to Australia!

Don't put off the career change if you really want to. I moved from teaching into the civil service taking a paycut. Within 3 years I've applied for other roles and now earn more than when teaching. Get your foot in the door.
Also turning 40 soon so will be watching this thread with interest.

I have booked an appointment with a careers advisor for next week. Some brilliant ideas on this thread.