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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not answer door to neighbour

362 replies

Koalababy · 17/02/2021 08:17

It’s 8 am and neighbour has rung my doorbell twice already. Have no idea what they want but I don’t feel like answering the door. They probably know I’m in which is why they keep ringing the bell but AIBU to ignore until I feel like it?

OP posts:

Eckhart · 17/02/2021 09:13

It's your door. Why do you feel you need validation from strangers on the internet not to open it?

What if your neighbour told you to stand in the rain naked? Would you consult MN then?

No. Because your neighbour isn't in control of what you do. Are they?

Nitpickpicnic · 17/02/2021 09:18

I’d answer it, if only to prevent ongoing annoying knocks and rings.

I’d call my mum first on zoom, and carry the laptop wth me to the door, and open it with that raised eyebrow expression that says ‘Yes? This had better be good, I’m working here.’

You gotta take the time to put boundaries in place, before you get to be stroppy about them being pushed.

Once you’ve made it all clear, you get to do what you prefer (forever). Not before.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 17/02/2021 09:23

Can you go knock their door, see what they want, then come back and let us know?

Tal45 · 17/02/2021 09:26

I'd answer just to stop it happening over and over - and be very clear that I'll be on calls for most of the day.

Gumbo · 17/02/2021 09:26

I'm genuinely shocked by people not answering to someone ringing their bell several times - surely that means it might be an emergency?

Not long ago I had a sudden extreme medical emergency which involved me stopping breathing - DC ran to a neighbour and rang the bell a few times... if he'd chosen not to answer I'd 100% be dead, since the ambulance didn't arrive for another 1 minutes....

What do people think will happen if they open the door to find out what it's about? Surely the normal reaction from most people is simply to just answer the door?

Mrgrinch · 17/02/2021 09:26

If answer it, but I would have no issue swiftly closing it again if the neighbour was there just to moan. In fact I'd quite enjoy the shocked expression on their face as I slammed it shut mid-sentence

Anywherebuthere · 17/02/2021 09:30

Only you know if YABU or not. Personally I would answer as its very unlike my lovely neighbour to knock at a time like that unless theres a good reason.

Itwasbad · 17/02/2021 09:30

love this. are they still knocking?

Hollywolly1 · 17/02/2021 09:30

If the neighbour only ever calls to complain about something then you are absolutely completely right not to answer the door to these very negative people, they really must have nothing going on in there lives to be at that

DenisetheMenace · 17/02/2021 09:34

I don’t answer the door now. Deliveries are all left on the doorstep anyway. I’ve made the mistake of doing it too many times in the past to end up with overpriced tea-towels and spider ladders, because I’m a sucker for a sad tale 😁

If I could see it was my neighbours though, I’d answer, they’re all nice people.

PussGirl · 17/02/2021 09:34

As they're annoying ask them to put it in writing & say you'll respond within the usual timeframe usually 14 days

makingmammaries · 17/02/2021 09:38

YANBU at all to ignore the PITA neighbour knocking on your door at 8am. However, YWBVU not to come back and tell us what it was about, if you ever find out.

SteveBrexit · 17/02/2021 09:39

I'm genuinely shocked by people not answering to someone ringing their bell several times - surely that means it might be an emergency?

such as?

Unless the OP is known to be a paramedic or something, instead of wasting time with neighbours, it makes more sense to call emergency services. What do you think neighbours can do that you can't?

I am sure most normal adult are able to shout "help" or "fire" when knocking at a door if it really is urgent...

makingmammaries · 17/02/2021 09:39

Maybe you can knock on their door at 6am tomorrow to ask what it was?

Redpenbluepen · 17/02/2021 09:41

We're in the middle of a pandemic, under lockdown. Unless there's a genunine emergency, they should not be knocking on your door - essentially ordering you to (likely) get out of bed and open the door to them, giving them the opportunity to criticise you, maybe shout at you, and potentially infect you. Why not drop your email address through their door and ask them to communicate in that way (citing the virus and the early hour), unless there is an emergency.

JosephineBaker · 17/02/2021 09:41

@makingmammaries

Maybe you can knock on their door at 6am tomorrow to ask what it was?

You minx!

MadeForThis · 17/02/2021 09:44

Have you parked outside their house OP?

Ragwort · 17/02/2021 09:44

I've often helped neighbours in an emergency - we had an elderly neighbour who frequently collapsed, we would pick him up off the floor - yes, it was a pain but I wouldn't just sit back and let the emergency services turn up. Another neighbour was dying and I sat with his wife, someone had a broken boiler and I did what I could do call the plumber, another neighbour had a baby that just wouldn't stop crying so I just went and held him for half an hour to give his mum a break.

And neighbours have helped me with domestic emergencies, lost keys etc ... maybe I'm lucky but I've always had nice helpers and would help if I could. Remind me of years ago when a teenage neighbour was locked out of her house and my DH had to crawl in through a top floor window .

AlwaysLatte · 17/02/2021 09:45

Get a ring doorbell!

judgingcat · 17/02/2021 09:47

What did they want though? I'm curious now.

DenisetheMenace · 17/02/2021 09:48

MadeForThis

Have you parked outside their house OP?“

Why would a neighbour knock/ring because you had parked outside their house? (Unless it was on their drive, obviously )

imjackieweaver · 17/02/2021 09:49

I rang on a doorbell yesterday - we were out walking and there was a car with it's lights on parked on the drive.
They never answered so I guess their battery went flat. They were home

iljatdip · 17/02/2021 09:50

If it's a neighbour who is normally a PITA then don't answer the door. It'll just be some shit that isn't worth bothering with at 8am.
If it's another neighbour who never bothers you normally and suddenly starts ringing the doorbell several times then it could be some kind of emergency so maybe answer.

I have a complete PITA neighbour and I don't answer the door to her anymore. Don't answer the door at all actually unless I am expecting someone but I talked about that a lot on the recent thread where people were claiming those of us who don't answer the door have mental health issues.

Whatever. Your door. You don't have to answer it. If you WFH boundaries have to be in place otherwise you'll end up having to take every delivery for several neighbours or you'll have PITA neighbours constantly disturbing you with irrelevant shit.

MaeveDidIt · 17/02/2021 09:51

YANBU
I wouldn't dream of knocking on a neighbour's door at 8am unless it was a real emergency.
If like you say they're a pain in the arse, you are doing the right thing by discouraging them to do it in the future.
Keep up your good boundaries.

Viviennemary · 17/02/2021 09:51

YABU. It might be an emergency.

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