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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if your child likes school?

72 replies

Happycat1212 · 16/02/2021 22:06

I’ve seen people say on here that their children love school, but does anyone else have a child that really hates it? It seems when you say that people think it’s weird or strange? None of my children seem to like school much but more so my 6 year old. He would be thrilled if he never had to go to school ever again. Does anyone else have a child that doesn’t love school ?

OP posts:
Veuvestar · 16/02/2021 22:12

My 13 yr old hates it.
Absolutely detests it.

Original poster
Happycat1212 · 16/02/2021 22:16

Veuvestar

Has he always hated it? Mine has hated it since he started in reception. Everyone said it would get better but he is still very vocal how much he hates it!

OP posts:
bridgertonian · 16/02/2021 22:18

Mine say they dislike school, although if you see them there they look happy, play with friends and are much nicer people than when they are home, but they don’t like homework, having to sit still, and eat or drink on a rigid schedule. Think it’s pretty normal to prefer weekends and holidays to term time.

switswoo81 · 16/02/2021 22:19

My dd says she is delighted the schools are closed!
I'm her teacher so it's not like it's a big change for her!

Original poster
Happycat1212 · 16/02/2021 22:21

Glad to hear as I remember saying on here once my children prefer being at home and was told it was weird that they didn’t like school, my child is loving the fact he’s had so much time away from it! He sad at the thought of going back!

OP posts:
diagold4u · 16/02/2021 22:21

When my children are at school they love it. Really enjoy it. Then when it's the holidays coming to an end, they will say they don't want to go back to school, don't like it etc but once they go back they are fine and enjoy it.
I told them school may open in March, they are refusing to go back as it stands, lol apparently they hate school. I asked are they not bored at home all day, very limited on what we can do due to lockdown, they say they love being at home.
My sister told me my niece hates school and doesn't want to go back in March!

Original poster
Happycat1212 · 16/02/2021 22:23

He doesn’t secretly like it when he is there I’m pretty certain of that. He use to scream his head off in reception when I use to drop him off in the mornings 😕

OP posts:
VashtaNerada · 16/02/2021 22:25

As a teacher it always worries me when I hear that children hate school. Do you know what aspects in particular? They spend so much time there I’d really want to know if anyone in my class was miserable to see if there was anything I could do about it. My DC moan a bit about school but they do enjoy it in general.

BertieBotts · 16/02/2021 22:26

I think it's unusual to really hate school. What is it he doesn't like about it? The teachers, other children, pressure of learning, noisy/chaotic environment, structure and rules, etc?

DS1 is quite like a lot of children I think in that he moans about school and is happy when it's the holidays, but he has friends there and comes back with stories of things that sound fun/enjoyable and generally seems happy in himself when he's at school. He is also doing fine with home learning, but he's older and able to keep up with his friends digitally, plus his school seem quite sensible with a good mix of online/offline lessons so they don't get screen fatigue.

Thirtyrock39 · 16/02/2021 22:26

My 14 year old in year ten hates school . Has done since about year 4. Not the most socially successful (struggles to maintain friendships, is quiet and shy ) although academically does quite well but has some autistic traits so finds the social side of it stressful, she has loved home school tbh. I do worry about her being out of school as she's very happy being on her own just watching soaps and doing make up but I think it does her good having to go out of her comfort zone and seeing her small group of friends and having a routine but I will probably be relieved when she finishes year 11 next summer and can do something less 'schooly'. My other younger kids are the opposite though and thrive at school.

bubblebubblebubbletrouble · 16/02/2021 22:27

Child 1 aged 9 loves school, always has loved nursery too.
Child 2 aged 6 hates it although can't actually verbalise it. Finds it hugely stressful, gets angry & struggles so much. A weight visibly lifts from her when it's the holidays and she calms down.
We persevere and she has fun days too & I work with her teacher and SENCO to make it as positive as possible in the hope that it will click one day. (I think she needs a quiet bestie but you can't force friendships)

Original poster
Happycat1212 · 16/02/2021 22:28

He doesn’t like any aspect of it. I’ve tried to speak to the teachers but hasn’t changed anything. None of mine like school though so I’m not sure it’s that unusual if all 3 of them would rather not be there. The other 2 just tolerate it more but if it was a choice they wouldn’t choose to go.

OP posts:
Veuvestar · 16/02/2021 22:29

He’s always said he hates it, but his primary was lovely and looking back he was very happy there.
We moved in year 5 and he’s settled in ok, but he is very vocal about how much he hates it. The only thing he can say in explanation is that it’s boring. Hmm
He goes to a very good school, but unfortunately now I’m thinking it’s not a good match. He doesn’t really fit their mould.
He does have mild dyslexia and adhd if not somewhere on the spectrum.

FunnysInLaJardin · 16/02/2021 22:29

My DC aged 11 and 15 both really enjoy school and during the last lockdown couldn't wait to get back.

We are very lucky that they have both been back since the start of January. They really miss their friends when they are off and also the structure of learning. Home schooling did not suit the oldest in particular

Original poster
Happycat1212 · 16/02/2021 22:30

Child 2 aged 6 hates it although can't actually verbalise it. Finds it hugely stressful, gets angry & struggles so much. A weight visibly lifts from her when it's the holidays and she calms down.
We persevere and she has fun days too & I work with her teacher and SENCO to make it as positive as possible in the hope that it will click one day. (I think she needs a quiet bestie but you can't force friendships)

That basically describes him. I can see the relief in his face when I pick him up and he’s always asking why the weekends are only 2 days but he has 5 days at school.

OP posts:
Thirtyrock39 · 16/02/2021 22:30

I also hated school- though I loved certain subjects and was well liked and had great pals but always found it a stressful environment. Ironically I became a teacher (for about 7 years left over ten years ago!) and I still felt anxious every day going into school and in my current job (nhs) I have to visit kids in school and still don't like the school environment that much !?

Skysblue · 16/02/2021 22:30

Mine absolutely hates it and doesn’t want to go back. He doesn’t like being told what to do, the total lack of control over what the day will hold, the lack of exercise, the constant noise/smell, the having to sit on the floor and bend his neck to look at a high screen, being forced to watch tv shows he hates in ‘lunchbreak’ at the slightest sign of rain, being taught at a level way too easy, being forced to use a pencil when most of the class are allowed pens just because he finds writing hard, being lied about by other kids, having stuff nicked by ofher kids, being told to eat lunch ‘faster faster’ by a strange adult standing behind him, wearing an ugly uncomfy uniform, etc.

In our class the only children who ‘love’ school are the biggest (who enjoy lording it iver the others) or the ones with really boring homelives.

Fascinationends · 16/02/2021 22:31

Dd loves it, always has. I hated it, especially when I was in primary school and used to make myself ill thinking about having to go.

VashtaNerada · 16/02/2021 22:31

Did you enjoy school OP? Just wondering if it’s the sort of thing where they pick up on our attitudes maybe.

Original poster
Happycat1212 · 16/02/2021 22:31

My son says the same about it being boring, he says the day is too long and he seems to struggle to make friends.

OP posts:
Original poster
Happycat1212 · 16/02/2021 22:32

Nothing to do with my attitude. I love it when they are at school (it’s the only break I get! So I’m not saying anything negative about it) I liked primary (secondary not so much but that was due to bullying) but no I don’t speak negatively about school.

OP posts:
Shieldingending · 16/02/2021 22:32

My DD dislikes it, hate is probably too strong a word. She's 13 now, has never been keen at all and to be honest finds the social side stressful. She can't understand why other girls are mean, she's very much someone who takes things at face value and supports the under dog. I love those traits in her personality but they make school hard. I'm hoping that as she gets older she will be valued for being kind and that school will get better for her

VashtaNerada · 16/02/2021 22:33

Thinking about it, it probably is unrealistic to expect all children to enjoy school. After all, we all prefer to work in different workplaces. It does seem a shame though, they’re at school for so much of their lives when they’re young.

VashtaNerada · 16/02/2021 22:34

@Happycat1212 I hope my comment about parental attitudes didn’t come across as nasty, I just wondered if that could be it but obviously not!

PrincessTuna · 16/02/2021 22:39

My 6yo isnt a big fan. I think he gets on with it when there, but prefers home. He hasn't missed anything about it during lockdown. He has friends but seems totally indifferent about them when not with them.

He hates noise so I think that's a big factor. I suffer terrible mummy guilt for his time in a very busy chaotic nursery in the years prior to school. I guess it means he appreciates his home comforts and let's face it, noise is part of life we need to adapt to.

He's actually a bit like me. I feel drained in noisy bustling places.

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