To ask if your child likes school?

[Happycat1212]

I’ve seen people say on here that their children love school, but does anyone else have a child that really hates it? It seems when you say that people think it’s weird or strange? None of my children seem to like school much but more so my 6 year old. He would be thrilled if he never had to go to school ever again. Does anyone else have a child that doesn’t love school ?

My 13 year old detests it even though he has friends and gets high grades, he is just lazy!
My 7 year old loves it and loves learning! My five year old doesn’t want to go back he would be stuck to me 24/7 if he could. I do worry about him as he hasn’t even had a full 6 months in p1 and he can’t recognise words yet no matter how much I practice with him.

My dd is happier without school. She doesn't much like people tbh, so spending all day every day in the company of 25 other kids that she wouldn't necessarily have chosen to spend time with is quite stressful for her. She quite likes learning at home, but would like some social interaction with her friends outside of school times.

She's year 6, and has never really loved school, but has always tolerated it because that was just the way things are. She now knows that she prefers working from home on her own (just like many adults do), but when schools open again she'll have to go back. Home schooling isn't an option for us long term, because I'm a teacher, so will be in school ft when they return, and dh also works ft so can't take responsibility for long term home school. It's only possible now because I'm at home most of the time, and can help her in between live lessons for my pupils.

Mine are teenagers now, but one always absolutely loved school - right from playgroup/nursery through to college. The other absolutely hated it right from nursery, all through Primary, through Secobdary and even at college.

@Flyingf1edgelings don't worry too much. I work in p1 and tbh they are all in the same boat this year. Ours are still going over letters and just introducing common words such as 'the' and 'is' but many aren't there yet. It's not a normal year and the support for learning team are currently working hard with p2 to get them caught up, and will be next year too.

My eldest hated school from Year 3 onwards. We had days where he wouldn't go. Worked with the SEN who tried really hard. Year 6 was last year and it was hard including escaping school and running home. Started Year 7 but lasted 6 weeks. I couldn't let it continue. Forcing him in everyday. Missing half the lessons sitting with the SENCO. I had him privately diagnosed with mild dyxlexia and slow processing before Xmas. He now does online school that I pay for. Honestly, he is thriving. Loves it!

My son used to say he was bored a lot but a teacher said to me this is often a word kids use when they can't articulate the problem.

DS3 (aged 6) loves it, although it's more the social side that he likes! He really, really misses school at the moment- his friends, his teachers, the activities, the routine, everything.

DS2 (aged 11) really loves school, he's academically a high achiever and has genuinely always enjoyed that side of it, and he really thrives in a school environment. He really likes the "these are the expectations, these are the boundaries" environment of school and has no difficulty in following rules, seeing the difference between class time and play time, etc.

DS1 (14) really hates school. All school. He has ADHD, query Conduct Disorder, GAD and various behavioural issues. He was let down by primary school who took an "oh he's not the worst he doesn't need formal help" approach until towards the end of year 5 when with adolescence approaching his issues magnified and went into overdrive and then they took a "exclude him from the classroom and continue to lie about acting on getting proper help" approach, which was delightful and really made everyone's lives better. Then he was further screwed up by the secondary school he transitioned to, who also failed to secure any support and to ignore my repeated requests to get some before things escalated as they always to, treated me as a ridiculous, ill informed, over anxious twat of a mother until he had melt down and then took a punitive approach which made things steadily worse. And now he is on his fourth attempt at alternative education and unlikely to sustain that placement either, because it's rather too fucking late by now. I did give that school another chance- I sent ds2 there for year 7 and even he, who has as I said above always loved and thrived in school utterly hated it, so just after the first half term he transferred to one which seems actually to be run for the students and not the SLT's ego.

TLDR: two like it, one doesn't, experiences with schools have been mixed but I am now very sure the schools that let ds1 down did so because of something wrong them them and not him

My DS2 (10) hates it. He has additional needs so struggles with the work. He has lots of friends so I thought this would help him to like school but it doesn't... He went through a stage of faking illness and getting sent home before lockdown so I hope that doesn't continue afterwards. DS1 (14) has always liked school.

@TakeTheCuntOutOfScunthorpe

I'm surprised any child actively likes school. The bullying and harassment from other children, the being forced to do activities you dislike (surely nobody likes all subjects plus being forced to play sports in a field in the rain), the collective punishments because the teacher doesn't know who the guilty party was, the general shambles that every school is with its petty rules and obvious unfairness.

I think if a child genuinely likes going to school it is a poor reflection on their home life. There must be something wrong at home - witnessing domestic violence or abuse from a sibling for instance - for them to feel safer and happier in school.

Re second paragraph: seriously!? Both mine love school, but love to spend time with DH and I much more. Do not see how you have managed to make such parallel, that if a child loves school there MUST be something amiss in their home. Haven’t read such a ridiculous conclusion in a while.

Simply, every child is different. Personally I loved primary school, hated secondary (due to bullying) then loved college and uni.

In my experience, if child doesn’t like school, there is most of the time something they are having trouble with IN school. Be that learning, social aspect, bullying, teachers...

I have a grandson with autism, primary school was a nightmare. Daily tantrums, so bad he'd vomit. He left that school unable to carry out a single academic task. He is now in a special school and the change was remarkable and occurred quickly. He is now performing beyond his age range. He's thirteen and loves his school.

Mine are primary aged. They don’t hate school but they prefer being at home.

They say they would be quite happy learning at home. I would be less happy

From my own experience, school was never bad and i had some fun moments but i still hated it. I think a lot of children would choose not to go if actually given the choice. It's normal and healthy to love being home with family. I'd wonder at a school that really loves school and always wants to go back, whether anything was amiss at home. Sounds judgemental i kbow, just where my mind goes on the subject.

I'd wonder at a child, not school*

I think if a child genuinely likes going to school it is a poor reflection on their home life. There must be something wrong at home - witnessing domestic violence or abuse from a sibling for instance - for them to feel safer and happier in school

Oh, top marks for goadiness there .

I like going to work. I like being at work far more than I liked being a SAHP. Does that suggest there is something terribly wrong with my home life? Odd that you assume a child who loves school must do so because their home life is shit and they feel safer at school than at home!

@TakeTheCuntOutOfScunthorpe I think your comment may be the most ridiculous thing I have ever read on here.

Mine loves it. Started begging to flexi-board from Y4 so he could be there more, despite us living a literal 5 minute stroll from the gates.

However, I'm a specialist teacher for autistic children and many of them found school intensely difficult when they were in mainstream, despite being very academically able. Some still struggle with it even in specialist. Group settings are just not easy for every child.

My two love school, especially the older one (8 yr old, loves any kind of learning). The 6 yr old isn’t so keen on the formal learning but gets on with it, and loves seeing her friends and the more fun lessons.

TBH if my primary age child hated school I would be considering whether there might be SEN and need for extra support, and/or looking at changing schools.

Senior school, yeah I can see many teens would find it a drag but hopefully by that age they understand why it’s necessary.

My 15 year old suffers from extreme panic at school. She has loved lockdown but her agoraphobia has ballooned. I don't think she hates school as such it's more the feeling she can't escape the panic she feels there.

Im going to have to hide this thread. It’s honestly upsetting me so much when people are describing how much their kids love school.
I could just cry forever

@Veuvestar I'm sorry things are tough for you and for DC. To help put it into perspective, of the posters answering, there will be some DC who genuinely love school and have great, healthy friendships and learn well, some DC who love school and are bullies / otherwise the cause of misery for another DC somewhere, some DC who love school because they are academically able but less so socially, some DC who loved school some of the time but not all of the time, and many many more DC who would just rather be at home but make the best of it. Then there's what they tell their parents.

It's like when you ask on your local FB about a particular primary school. More often than not you'll get lots of people writing in to say how wonderful it is and how fantastic their DC is doing there. You won't hear as much about the DC that are unhappy there and those who were failed by the school. There will always be a fair few of those, but unhappiness in a school environment is - as a general rule - far less visible.

As I said above, I think you only have to look at the high numbers of children being educated at home (before lockdown) to know that there are really very many children who at best tolerate school and at worst dread every day. As an adult I can list more friends who say they didn't enjoy school than those who did.

Skysblue
I can't help thinking that the negativity you express about school must have an impact on your dc. You use very emotive and negative language for normal everyday stuff.

@veuvestar when I say my kids "love" school (the ones that do) I mean it relatively. Obviously (?) they prefer weekends and holidays. I just mean they go off cheerfully enough and will some days find aspects to enjoy, other days not. As opposed to my child who really does hate school and just puts his head down and waits for it to be over. But yes, "love" is an exaggeration for sure.

Mine hated it so much that we decided to home ed. The change in them was phenomenal. Incredibly positive.