To ask if your child likes school?

[Happycat1212]

I’ve seen people say on here that their children love school, but does anyone else have a child that really hates it? It seems when you say that people think it’s weird or strange? None of my children seem to like school much but more so my 6 year old. He would be thrilled if he never had to go to school ever again. Does anyone else have a child that doesn’t love school ?

Mine say they like school and have never said they don't want to go but both are happy being home schooled too.

School is not for everyone, and unrealistic to think so.
For some it's just the whole environment, zero privacy, suffocating and claustrophobic, too controlled. They feel trapped.
Some adults struggle in certain working environments, yet kids are judged negatively if they dislike school.

As a teacher l notice a lot of children say they hate school but are very happy when they're there. When we opened back up after lockdown there was a change. They were so excited about seeing their friends and so happy to be doing something different there was a lovely atmosphere of them being very contented. They didn't even get excited at midterm in October.
Since children are forced to be in school at least 5 hours a day l hate to hear they are not happy there. I work as a support teacher to children with dyslexia etc and often find it's their time out of the classroom that they enjoy working in a smaller group and being heard. My own ds has dyslexia and he hated school as he felt under pressure every minute of the day. To compensate for feeling stupid ( his words) he acted the clown so got into trouble increasing his hatred.
School suits a certain type of child...l loved school myself as it was my area of achievement...but a lot of children shine in other environments. A good teacher tries to create variety so all are included but sometimes now the constant pressure teachers are under to increase academic performance hinders this.
When l was in school l hated sewing/ knitting class as l was awkward but my sister completely shone there and was in her element. Her best memories of school are around that.
There is not enough freedom for teachers to be flexible taking into account the children in front of them.

Loves it but says would be perfect if there was no work

I don’t think he is just saying it, I liked primary but hated secondary! I was hardly ever there.

No. What's to like when you have struggled terribly with reading and writing since reception? the social side is stressful too

DD1 who’s 7 absolutely loves school. She loves to read, write, loves maths, history, art... There isn’t a single subject or aspect of school that she complains about. I do find her really lucky that her class are all very close and look out for one another. She has also liked all her teachers so far.
DD2 started reception back in September and I was really worried how she’ll settle in as she detested nursery (November born so was there for year and a half). However, she seems to be really enjoying it. Not so much academically as my first, but being with her friends.
They are both doing extremely well with home learning but praying to go back to school as soon as possible.
Having said that, come half term, they are delighted to have that week or two with us at home.

My daughter hates it with a passion. It has knocked her confidence so much she is not the child she was before starting. Finally starting to get my beautiful confident wee girl back during lockdown.

My kids love school except for one who hates it. He has always hated it from the beginning. At best, when everything's going well, he tolerates it. School also brings out the worst in him. It's like a light goes out in his eyes when he has to go there, his school work is profoundly uninspired (unlike his projects at home). As he's gotten older, his idea about time has improved and he can count down the hours until hometime, which helps.

My 8 year old DD loves school, always has. 5 year old DS is lukewarm at best. Doesn't hate it or fuss but would rather be at home. He's summer born as well as quiet in nature and I think he finds it all a bit overwhelming.

Mine love it now at 10 and 8 (and 3, but he's not there yet)

Eldest hated it completely and utterly to the point that we withdrew her in year 1 and home educated for a few years. She then went back in year 4 (her choice) and second child started soon after in year 2.

Third child is a different kettle of fish, he goes to preschool full time and adores it. Both the big kids would have hated it.

Like I say, they love it now and are thriving.

My two aren't overly keen on school and aren't desperate to return. Both find the social side of school tricky for different reasons. They love being around other children and make friends easily, but not in a school environment.

I think you've only got to look at the number of adults on this board who were miserable at school to get an indication of how it's likely to be for many children today.

Mg Dc love school but they also love being at home. What they hate is the combination of hame and schooling. If it were one long holiday where they could still see their friends that would be ok but home schooling isn't for us one bit.

I'm surprised any child actively likes school. The bullying and harassment from other children, the being forced to do activities you dislike (surely nobody likes all subjects plus being forced to play sports in a field in the rain), the collective punishments because the teacher doesn't know who the guilty party was, the general shambles that every school is with its petty rules and obvious unfairness.

I think if a child genuinely likes going to school it is a poor reflection on their home life. There must be something wrong at home - witnessing domestic violence or abuse from a sibling for instance - for them to feel safer and happier in school.

I absolutely hated every second of school.

@TakeTheCuntOutOfScunthorpe you are not describing any decent school there! I’m sorry you have had bad experiences. Good schools do not do any of the things you describe .

@TakeTheCuntOutOfScunthorpe

I'm surprised any child actively likes school. The bullying and harassment from other children, the being forced to do activities you dislike (surely nobody likes all subjects plus being forced to play sports in a field in the rain), the collective punishments because the teacher doesn't know who the guilty party was, the general shambles that every school is with its petty rules and obvious unfairness.

I think if a child genuinely likes going to school it is a poor reflection on their home life. There must be something wrong at home - witnessing domestic violence or abuse from a sibling for instance - for them to feel safer and happier in school.

Wow.

I'm assuming you had a bad experience at school, I get it, I did too. I remember dreading it because of bullying.

But my kids genuinely love it, and are missing it at the moment. They get to see all their friends, they like their teachers, the school has all sorts of fun stuff that we don't have at home (they've invested a lot in play equipment), and they get to do fun activities that they don't get at home (team sports, performing plays, interesting visitors etc).

Home life is fine, but not as varied as school.

It's not that they dislike being home, they like both - in moderation. Too much time at home makes them grouchy, too much time at school makes them grouchy (last few days before holidays are always tough).

I have one who loves it and one who hates it. Unfortunately, the eldest one hated it right from the start so DC2 was very apprehensive about starting. Loved it from day 1.

Have you tried getting a diary with the hours included for each day. Sit down with him and highlight in one colour when he's at home and in another break times. It will show him he spends more time out of school than he does in school.

Your other two sound more typical in their approach - wouldn't choose to go if they had the choice, but don't hate it or seem inordinately stressed out by it.

Being constantly stressed and hating school isn't typical "Ugh school" though. I would be approaching the school to see if anything can be done in terms of social inclusion - some children really struggle to make friends, because they aren't quite able to navigate social rules yet that other children take for granted, but the school can help with this by creating friendship circles or having lunchtime clubs where the quieter children who struggle with a busy playground can do more introvert type things like reading, board games, possibly computer type activities.

If all three dislike it so much I would be wondering if it wasn’t the right school for them or there was some sort of other deeper reason for the issues.

We have had major school refusal issues in the past but worked very closely with school to get the right set up in place

School doesn't suit every child. This is particularly the case where the child has sen whether diagnosed or not.

My two children were fine in the first few years but struggled from year 5 onwards. Both have sen and both refused.

In the end it was obvious that it was not in their benefit to continue in the school system and they are now home educated.

If your child is really objecting then i'd suggest speaking to the school senco about it in the first instance to see whether you can get some support.

I'm with you OP, none of my children actually disliked school but certainly none of them loved it. Likewise that was roughly my approach to boarding school, ditto most of my school mates with the exception of one nutter who actually persuaded her parents to pay for an extra two terms purely so that she could carry on playing lacrosse. I'm really sceptical about people who claim that their children "absolutely love" school.

My 10 year old DD doesn't like it much. She did really love it when she was smaller. Her best friend moved country when she was seven, which dented her confidence a bit, and then her new best friend was removed from school - though that happened just before Covid so not quite sure of the impact of that one.
She's bright and reasonably sociable. She's never liked a lot of noise, which I think is one factor. She has spoken about struggling to learn when there's disruptive behaviour going on - which I don't think is a HUGE problem in her class but there are a couple of boys who struggle a bit with learning and can be a bit noisy and silly sometimes - one has a 1-1 TA who often takes him outside and they do seem to deal with it all pretty well. But obviously there are 30 kids in the class and not everyone will thrive in that atmosphere.
In the first lockdown DD was so so much happier at home - but for various reasons we had more time to spend with her. This time it's been pretty horrible but she still doesn't want to go back to school, which gives me pause. I wish there was some clever answer that doesn't involve home schooling (I actually really like the idea - of 'normal' homeschooling, not emergency pandemic homeschooling but I also don't want to give up my job.)

My 9 year old actually dearests school with a passion. Says the same. Doesn’t like any of it, it’s pointless, it’s too long, he doesn’t learn anything etc. There is nothing about it he is positive about and he’s loving lockdown.

He is being assessed for asd and very much tolerates school when there. I do feel sad for him and wish he could try and enjoy it as it’s a nice school and he’s a bright child. Teachers say he seems fine whilst there etc
My older son is 11 and loves it, he enjoys going, likes his friends and really doesn’t complain at all.

I must say that our school is lovely. It would be hard to have a negative experience there. Single form entry, very supportive, a real family feel. I work there too and can hand in heart say that my kids do love it there.

I am worried about secondary though, whilst I wasn't bullied, didn't hate it or whatever I just remember feeling totally insecure and fundamentally alone for however many years. I don't want that for mine.