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Original poster

Open relationship, period is late (help!)

107 replies

stressbabe · 16/02/2021 18:02

Name changed.

TL;DR, I had an open relationship with my husband for about a month, I slept with one person (unprotected, awful I know). He realised he didn't want an open relationship and we were contemplating divorce, but recently decided to try couples' counselling instead and are working on buying a house soon. So far, so good.

However, my period was meant to arrive on the on the 30th Jan - 3rd Feb (usually around that time) and it hasn't arrived. I slept with the other guy about a week and a half ago. How likely is this to just be stress, rather than an unexpected pregnancy? I'm worried that the stress delayed my fertile period. The other man did pull out but he said he "hoped I was on the pill". I took a test a little while back which was negative, but haven't taken one since I slept with the OM. I'm quite scared and I'm putting off taking a test as I'm worried about the results, I'm really hoping my period will come soon and it will just have been because of stress.

Sorry, I don't know if that makes any sense and please try not to slate me too hard. I'm aware I've made some real errors in judgement here.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 16/02/2021 21:47

@CherryDocsInYrBalls

My mistake, I didn't realise you were all there to witness her full consent for penetrative unprotected sex. I read it as something "awful" and OP needs counselling to get help with her "boundaries". I for one have alarm bells ringing with what you're saying about being drunk and what he said to you afterwards, which I find disgusting, not light hearted. How dare he? Consent is crucial so counselling for your boundaries sounds good and if indeed you did give him your full consent, looking at why you are engaging in such risky behaviour (added risk of contracting covid and passing it on to your husband) and seeking out an om who is clearly also a massive risk taker
You specifically said that if she asked him to wear a condom and he didn't, it was sexual assault. That isn't what happened. You then specifically said that if no discussion about contraception was had, OP would need to consider pregnancy and STIs as a potential risk of not using contraception. That is what happened, according to her. Nobody is saying they were there to witness, we can only go by OPs first hand account.
BeatricePrior · 16/02/2021 21:47

You could of done about ten tests in the time this thread has been going on.

Have you took a test.

Go from there that's all you can do at this point 🤷🏻‍♀️

MissMarpleDarling · 16/02/2021 21:47

I didn't have a period for 4 months recently due to stress and did 6 pregnancy tests. Maybe you are stressed. If not, congrats!

Bookwords · 16/02/2021 21:48

@MissMarpleDarling have you read any of this thread 🤔

Five67Eight · 16/02/2021 21:52

If not, congrats!

It’s really not clever to appear completely socially clueless....

Peach1204 · 16/02/2021 21:56

OP you've said you don't want to get pregnant right now and that your husband pulled out too...this isn't going to stop you getting pregnant. Please look into contraception along with the counselling just so you aren't in a situation again you don't want.

Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady · 16/02/2021 22:00

Just piss on a stick!

Perfect28 · 16/02/2021 22:08

Can you not drive or walk to a supermarket now, get a couple of tests and take one immediately? I'm confused. Busy or not, our tesco is 24/7, and we are on lockdown. Are you busy right this second?

HalfGirlHalfCake · 16/02/2021 22:12

Who would have thought that unprotected sex may result in pregnancy

Original poster
stressbabe · 16/02/2021 22:13

You win the sarky award, HalfGirl cheers for that.

I need to get better hydrated and then I'll take a test tonight. Wish me luck.

OP posts:
PCar20 · 16/02/2021 22:15

You’ve made your bed Hmm

Bookwords · 16/02/2021 22:16

@stressbabe do you have children already?

Starlive23 · 16/02/2021 22:17

Right, take the test OP and put yourself out of your misery. Yes, stress can delay it imo but its been a while and you really do need to know. Go get the test right now, then once you know, you can at least get the facts straight and see where to go from here.
Honestly, no judgement from me but go and get the test...like right now!

littlegold · 16/02/2021 22:22

You are best taking the test now rather than when you are hydrated otherwise it will be a very dilute sample and the test won't pick up the hormones.
Fingers crossed for you!

Haveyoubrushedyourteeth · 16/02/2021 22:27

No judgement from me. Hopefully you've got away with it this time and you've been worrying about nothing, I'm sure the way you're feeling now will mean you'll never put yourself in this situation again.

I'm a bit confused with your time line, but I'm inclined to think that if your period was already late when you were with the other bloke, then if there's a baby it's highly likely to be your husbands.

Don't hydrate yourself too much before taking the test or you'll potentially dilute it too much and not get an accurate result. Good luck OP.

rooarsome · 16/02/2021 22:35

Hi OP, no judgment here. Are you OK? Stress can definitely delay a period and it sounds like you've had a lot to deal with. The last time this happened to me I was 3weeks late and I'm ordinarily as regular as clockwork.
Take a test and be kind to yourself.

MizMoonshine · 16/02/2021 23:50

Jesus the way people are having at you, you'd swear you had scaled every cock within a ten mile radius in nary a day!

Good luck with the test x

evenBetter · 17/02/2021 00:01

Your husband and you immediately need to be using contraception, having no contraception plus bare penises inside you is trying to conceive , actively, very deliberately, you said you’re not looking to bring a kid into this shitshow, yet...active conception attempts are occurring.

Yes, stress can effect periods.
Yes, unprotected shagging can do so, too.

DumplingsAndStew · 17/02/2021 01:07

Sorry, I can't make out if it's clear or not - does your husband know that you are worried you might be pregnant?

MrsBrunch · 17/02/2021 07:07

@CherryDocsInYrBalls

My mistake, I didn't realise you were all there to witness her full consent for penetrative unprotected sex. I read it as something "awful" and OP needs counselling to get help with her "boundaries". I for one have alarm bells ringing with what you're saying about being drunk and what he said to you afterwards, which I find disgusting, not light hearted. How dare he? Consent is crucial so counselling for your boundaries sounds good and if indeed you did give him your full consent, looking at why you are engaging in such risky behaviour (added risk of contracting covid and passing it on to your husband) and seeking out an om who is clearly also a massive risk taker
OP is aware of all of this. Just read her posts, she is literally already addressing the risky behaviour issues. That's what the whole thread is about.
ThreeTwoOneBlastOff · 17/02/2021 08:44

What a car crash, your poor DH.

ChancesWhatChances · 17/02/2021 08:57

“It was an error” ConfusedHmmBiscuit

Perfect28 · 17/02/2021 09:13

Good luck @stressbabe, this place can be brutal!

Ntwa · 17/02/2021 09:14

I hope you're OK op, let us know how you get on

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 17/02/2021 11:56

Take a test and def get a sti check as well , just incase.
Once you know if you are pregnant or not then you can plan accordingly, no point worrying about something that might not be.
Hope things work out for you , we all make mistakes.