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Original poster

Open relationship, period is late (help!)

107 replies

stressbabe · 16/02/2021 18:02

Name changed.

TL;DR, I had an open relationship with my husband for about a month, I slept with one person (unprotected, awful I know). He realised he didn't want an open relationship and we were contemplating divorce, but recently decided to try couples' counselling instead and are working on buying a house soon. So far, so good.

However, my period was meant to arrive on the on the 30th Jan - 3rd Feb (usually around that time) and it hasn't arrived. I slept with the other guy about a week and a half ago. How likely is this to just be stress, rather than an unexpected pregnancy? I'm worried that the stress delayed my fertile period. The other man did pull out but he said he "hoped I was on the pill". I took a test a little while back which was negative, but haven't taken one since I slept with the OM. I'm quite scared and I'm putting off taking a test as I'm worried about the results, I'm really hoping my period will come soon and it will just have been because of stress.

Sorry, I don't know if that makes any sense and please try not to slate me too hard. I'm aware I've made some real errors in judgement here.

OP posts:
MixedUpFiles · 16/02/2021 18:57

You already know the answers to all of your questions
Take a pregnancy test
Both of you need Sti testing
You need to hold off on buying a house until you are well past the stage of contemplating divorce. Best to also try to avoid signing any long term leases or if you must, make sure it’s a place one of you can afford solo.

GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom · 16/02/2021 18:58

Jeez, OP. None of us can tell you. Only a test can tell you. I hope it's negative, since that's what you want, but if it's not, you're best off knowing as soon as possible so you can look at your options. You're two weeks late so a test should be reliable now. Good luck.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 16/02/2021 18:59

@MixedUpFiles

You already know the answers to all of your questions Take a pregnancy test Both of you need Sti testing You need to hold off on buying a house until you are well past the stage of contemplating divorce. Best to also try to avoid signing any long term leases or if you must, make sure it’s a place one of you can afford solo.
All of this. And stop having unprotected sex with anyone, your husband included at the moment, until all of this has calmed down.
Keepthechangeyafilthyanimal1 · 16/02/2021 19:00

I have only ever missed one period as a result of what I can only assume was stress. I also had a risk of pregnancy that month so took a test which was negative. Period was a good three weeks later from what I can remember.

So yes it can happen, but you need to be brave and take the test, the issue won’t resolve itself.

fruitbrewhaha · 16/02/2021 19:01

No wonder you are stressed.

TinyCake · 16/02/2021 19:03

I'd buy a couple of tests and do one now and one in a couple of weeks if the first one is negative. You need to know so you can decide what to do.

Stress can do it, you've had a lot on with relationship stress by the sound of it.

donkir · 16/02/2021 19:04

You slept with a guy a week and a half ago and now you're already in couples counselling? This time line is messed up completely. As for the fact we're in the middle of a pandemic!

Whythesadface · 16/02/2021 19:04

Be kind to yourself , lockdown has caused many people to act differently.
Go take a test, do it where you can thrown everything away, before you get home .
Wishing you a better 2021.

TinyCake · 16/02/2021 19:06

I also suggest you just continue saving to buy a house for a bit. You don't want to rush into it if you've been having relationship difficulties.

Original poster
stressbabe · 16/02/2021 19:07

You slept with a guy a week and a half ago and now you're already in couples counselling? This time line is messed up completely. As for the fact we're in the middle of a pandemic!

He gets couples counselling through his work, we're on a waiting list and our first appt should be sometime this week (fingers crossed).

Thank you, whythesadface, I genuinely appreciate your kindness.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 16/02/2021 19:13

my period was meant to arrive on the on the 30th Jan - 3rd Feb
I slept with the other guy about a week and a half ago (so about the 6th)
Dh realised he didn't want an open relationship and we were contemplating divorce, but recently decided to try couples' counselling instead so within the last 10 days you've disclosed the sex, he's decided it's not for him, you nearly split up over it and got yourself down for counselling and have decided to tie yourselves together financially

If you were already late when you had sex with OM of assume pregnancy would be DHs. Order a test from Amazon and pee on it. Hopefully it'll be negative.

Do not buy a home or get pregnant.
Go to counselling and try to make your relationship strong before you throw all that hard work at it

LittleLadyCece · 16/02/2021 19:13

Stress can definitely delay your period. I missed a whole month due to it. Please reconsider the buying a house together for now. It sounds as though you both have issues to work through before making one of the biggest investments in life you can made.

Take a pregnancy test, go for counselling and sort yourselves out before going down the house route. Good luck Flowers

Bookwords · 16/02/2021 19:45

Do another test, then pose the question

Greenmarmalade · 16/02/2021 19:48

Stress can definitely do it

Sparklingbrook · 16/02/2021 19:50

It's all very complicated. If you had sex then you could be pregnant.

How are we working the vote here?

Beforethetakingoftoastandtea · 16/02/2021 19:54

Who wanted the open relationship? And did your dh have sex with anyone that you know of?

Neron · 16/02/2021 19:57

Stress regularly makes my periods stop.

MNerGoneRogueAgain · 16/02/2021 19:59

@Greenmarmalade

Stress can definitely do it
So can sex
Scbchl · 16/02/2021 20:03

I missed three periods in a row a couple of years ago. Weirdly on the third month when I went to the doctors it came the next day.

However, my husband had had a vasectomy and I wasnt sleeping with other people unprotected. I think you should take a test, hold off on the hosue buying and get yourself an std test.

kalidasa · 16/02/2021 20:17

If you do a test now and it's a clear positive then it's almost certainly your husband's -- bit soon for a positive from the other guy. But if it's negative you could still be pregnant from the other one. You should test again in a week if your period hasn't arrived to be sure you haven't conceived from the sex with the other man. But stress can definitely delay ovulation (and therefore your period) or mean you don't ovulate at all one month and you have obviously been having a stressful time. Hope you get it all sorted out!

Bookwords · 16/02/2021 20:19

Greenmarmalade
Stress can definitely do it
So can sex

This!

CherryDocsInYrBalls · 16/02/2021 20:24

The om hoped you were on the pill? This comes under sexual assault, never mind open marriage

Bookwords · 16/02/2021 20:33

The om hoped you were on the pill? This comes under sexual assault, never mind open marriage

Who is sexually assaulting who? @CherryDocsInYrBalls

MrsKingfisher · 16/02/2021 20:38

I never understand these sorts of threads, no one can tell you only a test can do that. Why do people fanny about talking about maybe being pregnant before even buying a test 🙄

Original poster
stressbabe · 16/02/2021 20:41

Who wanted the open relationship? And did your dh have sex with anyone that you know of?

I wanted it, DH agreed to give it a go and then after a bit I slept with someone else - he realised it wasn't for him, we discussed divorce but we're trying couples counselling and working on it first. He didn't sleep with anyone else.

The om hoped you were on the pill? This comes under sexual assault, never mind open marriage

If you're insinuating I sexually assaulted him, you're off the mark. We had unprotected sex and his comment about hoping I was on the pill came after we had sex a in quite a light-hearted way a few hours later. It didn't feel like he came in me and I had no "after effects", but I was a bit drunk.

OP posts: