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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave my TV on overnight so neighbour can hear?

70 replies

goodmorningcuppa · 14/02/2021 23:11

Looking for some perspective!

NDN have been loud since the minute they moved in a few years ago: banging cupboards/doors, shouting late at night, etc etc. We are on good terms with them from our side - saying hello, taking in parcels, sending xmas cards, etc. - but they are not really bothered.

They are loud with no consideration to anyone else. Bang cupboards, shout late at night, kids always loud into the early hours. Their younger children are awake at all hours - later than 1am -screaming and shouting. Their teenage (14/15) son's bedroom is next to our master bedroom, which we have had to move out of because we are fed up of constant noise from him - shouting/singing/stomping at gone midnight. If you ever bang on the wall he bangs back.

We have knocked a couple of times and very politely asked them to keep the noise down at night because it wakes us. Nothing ever changes. We can still hear their noise at night from our bedroom further away and now use a white noise machine which I hate having to do.

They are not an awful family and my god am I glad they are not playing drum&bass into the early hours or dealing drugs etc -I know it could be so much worse - but It pisses me off that they get to live next door to a quiet and considerate family, and especially that their teenage son gets to sleep next to an empty and silent room!!

WIBU to leave a TV on overnight/late at night in that room occasionally or an early morning alarm just so that he hears something and realises that the walls are actually thin and I can hear him 24/7?

OP posts:
Lucyccfc68 · 14/02/2021 23:16

I totally get your frustration, but this won’t air then any quieter.

Complain to your local council, keep a diary and get them to install sound monitoring. If you retaliate, you will get no where and have to put up with this forever.

It took me 18 months to get a resolution with my noisy neighbour - she was evicted eventually.

Lucyccfc68 · 14/02/2021 23:18

Make not air!

KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 15/02/2021 07:36

Don’t do it!

Are they owners or tenants? You don’t mention this so I assume they’re owners. Obviously if they’re tenants you can go to their landlord.

Have you told them you’ve had to move rooms? I’d tell them this and be honest that you can’t sleep. Read up on the noise regulations, speak to your council and keep a record. Playing a loud TV all night could get you into trouble which would add insult to injury for you!

gingercatsarebest · 15/02/2021 07:40

Can you move?

KatherineJaneway · 15/02/2021 07:41

I wouldn't do that. If they won't be quiet after you've asked, they clearly don't give a shit. If you escalate they might make more noise to spite you. I'd start with a call to the environmental health department at your local Council who usually deal with noise issues.

Odile13 · 15/02/2021 07:48

I’m sorry your neighbours are so inconsiderate. It must be awful having to put up with so much noise. I don’t think you should put the TV on overnight though. It might aggravate them and make them worse or start to become aggressive. They obviously aren’t considerate people or your polite requests would have been listened to. I don’t know what is the best thing to do, but I’d tread carefully.

Ileflottante · 15/02/2021 07:51

Can you report them?

Mamabear12 · 15/02/2021 07:58

I would ring their doorbell at 4/6am 😀 I would do it several times until you hear someone coming to open it and leave their parcels at the door. When they complain to you, explain, oh you didn’t realise they were bothered by noise since they make so much damn noise at night when people should be sleeping.

Stickytreacle · 15/02/2021 07:59

Leaving a loud tv on will just escalate the situation. Go through the proper channels, but if the noise is just general living rather than loud music etc I don't know if there's much they'll be able to do. I think improving the soundproofing if you own the property would be worthwhile. Its a horrible situation to have to live with though.

DinosaurDiana · 15/02/2021 08:02

Do they own or rent ?
If they own you need to move, or wait until they do.

BobsDouble · 15/02/2021 08:06

I wouldn’t. It won’t make them be quieter but it might escalate things and they’ll go out of their way to upset you more.

AntiHop · 15/02/2021 08:06

Could you write them an email or letter explaining the impact on you clearly? I had noisy neighbours keeping me awake. I had spoken to them but when I emailed them explaining things really clearly, they stopped being noisy.

BluebellsGreenbells · 15/02/2021 08:28

Teens can hear quite high pitched noises - that us adults can’t

Google it

Just saying

Frenchdressing · 15/02/2021 08:32

Before jumping into council action etc, I would try one more time to speak to them. Assertively. ‘ we have asked before but there has been no change, your noise is impacting on our life etc.’ try and agree a cut off point for noise.

If it continues then you know they really don’t give a shit and can look at other measures but tit for tat noise seldom helps, nor does banging on walls. Try and communicate first.

This is so common in modern life, our neighbours are similar to yours. We ended up getting sound proofing between most of the walls. It has helped.

Livelovebehappy · 15/02/2021 08:35

I would confront them on it. Daily if you need to. They’ll soon get fed up if you’re knocking at their door. People who act like this are generally arses though, so might just shrug and continue. Keep a diary, record noise if possible. If they are renters, report to the landlord or council. If owners, report to environmental team. No-one should have to live in this kind of situation - unfortunately the actions of idiots like this are magnified during lockdown when we’re in the home more.

LyndaSnellsSniff · 15/02/2021 08:37

Yes I would try it.

If they complain, don’t apologise, just say something like “oh yes the walls are very thin aren’t they? We can hear everything you do too! What shall we do about it?”

Rupertbeartrousers · 15/02/2021 08:40

Don’t escalate would be my advice

NailsNeedDoing · 15/02/2021 08:44

Thing is, it probably won’t bother them the way you want it to if you make noise back at them. My teenage son wouldn’t give a shit if you set an alarm off right next to him, if he knows he doesn’t have to get up, he’ll happily ignore it.

thepeopleversuswork · 15/02/2021 08:46

Can I just come in with an alternative point of view: not trying to be goady but to try to make you understand the other perspective?

I have been living for three years in the flat underneath someone who objects to someone making more or less any noise at all: she has asked me not to use my hairdryer at certain times of night, she objects to the way I close my front door etc. She claims the noise from my flat causes her "distress": I have a 10 year old daughter and its just really child noise: no late night parties or music etc, just run of the mill family noise. There's really nothing I can do about most of it.

She is constantly complaining to the management company and freeholder about this really low-level noise and has once unsuccessfully complained to environmental health.

To be honest her complaining has made me incredibly resentful and angry actually less inclined to respect her wishes: to the point that I'm now raising a harassment issue with police.

I'm not saying you're anywhere near as bad as this: it does sound as if their teenagers are quite noisy. But by the same token I think you need to consider that when you have a family its quite hard to avoid this noise and having someone constantly on your case about every cough and closing door that emerges from your home eventually makes you lose respect and consideration for that person: its like the boy who cried wolf.

I would just say pick your battles and don't become that nagging neighbour because that drain good will really quickly and undermine your ability to get them to listen to you.

TinyTear · 15/02/2021 08:47

Maybe not the TV but they won;'t know you moved.
i think one day you need to wake up at 5am, but you are sleeping so deeply your alarm needs to go off every 10 minutes...

the next day 7am, the following 6am... never regular...

teateaandcoffee · 15/02/2021 08:48

I would try to resolve in person, try to be light hearted. If you can hear specific things, i.e. what TV programme they are watching ask questions like 'We watched xyz as well, what did you think of this bit?'. Just keep doing it so they know that you can hear absolutely everything.
I would personally avoid council route, when you come to sell the house there will be an official record of a noise complaint, it might make it hard to sell the house.
Good luck.

peak2021 · 15/02/2021 08:48

As you have approached them and asked politely, perfectly reasonable to report to the Council.

AlternativePerspective · 15/02/2021 08:49

I love the suggestion on these threads that if you have noisy neighbours you should just move.

As if moving guarantees that you won’t have the same, or worse, where you move to, not to mention the fact that, if the house is owned, it’s really not as simple as just uprooting and moving somewhere else.

teateaandcoffee · 15/02/2021 08:50

and agree with tinytear, overhearing someone elses alarm early in the morning is more irritating than a tv, and it is plausible. Great idea!

dapsnotplimsolls · 15/02/2021 08:52

Do a spot of hoovering at 7am ...