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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave my TV on overnight so neighbour can hear?

70 replies

goodmorningcuppa · 14/02/2021 23:11

Looking for some perspective!

NDN have been loud since the minute they moved in a few years ago: banging cupboards/doors, shouting late at night, etc etc. We are on good terms with them from our side - saying hello, taking in parcels, sending xmas cards, etc. - but they are not really bothered.

They are loud with no consideration to anyone else. Bang cupboards, shout late at night, kids always loud into the early hours. Their younger children are awake at all hours - later than 1am -screaming and shouting. Their teenage (14/15) son's bedroom is next to our master bedroom, which we have had to move out of because we are fed up of constant noise from him - shouting/singing/stomping at gone midnight. If you ever bang on the wall he bangs back.

We have knocked a couple of times and very politely asked them to keep the noise down at night because it wakes us. Nothing ever changes. We can still hear their noise at night from our bedroom further away and now use a white noise machine which I hate having to do.

They are not an awful family and my god am I glad they are not playing drum&bass into the early hours or dealing drugs etc -I know it could be so much worse - but It pisses me off that they get to live next door to a quiet and considerate family, and especially that their teenage son gets to sleep next to an empty and silent room!!

WIBU to leave a TV on overnight/late at night in that room occasionally or an early morning alarm just so that he hears something and realises that the walls are actually thin and I can hear him 24/7?

OP posts:
gabsdot45 · 15/02/2021 08:52

You could consider soundproofing your walls. It's an expense of course but I think in this case would be worth it.

gamerchick · 15/02/2021 08:52

@BluebellsGreenbells

Teens can hear quite high pitched noises - that us adults can’t

Google it

Just saying

Like those mosquito alarm things? I can hear them, they go right through me.

An idea if you can't hear it though.

Or a personal alarm, pull the pin and shove it through the letter box sans pin.

*Don't do these, go through the proper channels the long way around.

Perpetualheadache · 15/02/2021 08:58

It doesn't sound like you've done anything sensible about this problem. It sounds like you're making yourself a martyr.

FluffyLamkins · 15/02/2021 08:59

An alarm at 5:30am or early hoovering and bashing around?
I think the trouble is with thin walls that you can hear people, and children and some people are just noisy so probably don’t notice they’re doing it. If you are quiet they probably don’t realise it either. Look into soundproofing the walls perhaps? If it’s not loud parties or anything I doubt the council will do anything.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 15/02/2021 09:01

YABU

Making more noise at night will only escalate the situation.

Cleaning at 6am and being scrupulous with the vacuum cleaner against the skirting boards, on the other hand, is entirely appropriate.

Clicketyclick21 · 15/02/2021 09:01

@BluebellsGreenbells

Teens can hear quite high pitched noises - that us adults can’t

Google it

Just saying

To elaborate, get one of those cat detector machines that emit a high pitched frequency that only small animals, children and teenagers can hear. Place it near the bedroom or sitting room wall, during the day, & 🤞the noise reduces. It doesn't harm them but makes it uncomfortable for them so they move away.

If you have groups of teenagers sitting on your wall, outside your house/shop then get one of these. Very cheap and effective and you don't have to engage with them which might cause more trouble.
Can you place a wardrobe or large furniture along the shared wall to absorb the noise?

Jeremyironseverything · 15/02/2021 09:02

The alarm sounds a good idea - but not next to pthe sons room. He won't hear it. Can you do it somewhere near the parents?
And yes, the TV could go on for a few nights because you are ill and can't sleep.

If you do it, they need to think it's plausible, not tit for tat.

Porridgeoat · 15/02/2021 09:03

Tv on 7am daily. Get him into better sleeping habits

Jeremyironseverything · 15/02/2021 09:03

Or the high pitched thing, you can deny all knowledge of - but then that won't make them stop their own nose.

Iggly · 15/02/2021 09:06

I would ask them for one thing - to keep the noise down after a certain time and let the rest go.

And consider sound proofing if you can afford it. We spent about £1k soundproofing our bedroom wall which adjoined our neighbours and I’m so glad we did. The noise was horrendous until we sorted it.

Clicketyclick21 · 15/02/2021 09:06

The high pitch thing stop the noise but it will make the kids too uncomfortable to do anything in the first place.

AnxiousWeirdo · 15/02/2021 09:12

I feel you. My neighbours are the same (8 years) just with the added terrible very loud music at all hours. We can hear them on the phone and their conversations. We've asked, dp has shouted, next door don't give a flying fuck, going as far as shouting to her mates "THEY CANT HEAR F*G NOWT" plus other totally incorrect accusation about us. (Heard through the walls over the top of the film I was watching). I sat in my own room the other night crying because I couldn't even watch a film on my own TV because they wouldn't stop shouting at eachother (in conversation not argument) and then put their music on again until 8 am the next morning. Our whole house runs up the side of theirs (back to back, one room downstairs) they keep DD up A LOT or wake her up if she ever does get to sleep.

Environmental health don't care, the police don't care ..even with multiple lockdown breaches with a couple of parties, they've put their house up for sale now, if they're not gone soon I might have a breakdown.

Sorry for the rant.

In short, leaving your TV on won't make a bit of difference to an inconsiderate a**hole. Good luck .

Mrbob · 15/02/2021 09:13

@Perpetualheadache

It doesn't sound like you've done anything sensible about this problem. It sounds like you're making yourself a martyr.
Um what sensible things would you like them to do? They have politely asked them multiple times to stop making so much noise
MsMiaWallace · 15/02/2021 09:17

I remember when DH & I first moved into a house together. We had a little get together with family. Played a bit of music etc wasn't that late but next door came around asking us to keep noise it down due to her daughter going to bed. Fair enough, didn't realise it was that loud. We apologised & turned it straight off.
Following this every bloody night, noise from next door shouting, arguing, banging about etc. We didn't know that they were like this due to newly moving in.
She was taking the piss!

We put up with it for a while & then after another really, really bad night from next door that went on until early hours. They ignored polite requests to keep it down. DH was up decided to do some housework in the morning . He likes to play music whilst doing this. Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody & other Queen hits blasted out. Can't beat it.
Worked a treat. It wasn't unsociable hours either....just saying.

Mrgrinch · 15/02/2021 09:31

I'd do far worse. Maybe I'm petty.

warmandtoasty2day · 15/02/2021 09:42

it makes me wonder if 'just move' posters on mn have so much spare money they can move on a whim, or do they think it's easy to move ? it isn't necessarily so.

Derekhello · 15/02/2021 09:43

I did this I had an awful neighbour above, extremely inconsiderate and noisy, all day and into the early hours, she didn’t work so she slept in, I know this because you could hear EVERYTHING, getting out of bed toilets flushing etc, my alarm would go off at half five for work id get up and leave it going, on vibrate on the bedside, on the loudest setting. she definitely would’ve heard it. It didn’t make things worse and let’s face it people like this wont change their ways IME anyway. Made me feel better in my sleep deprived state 😬 used to really annoy me because like you I was considerate of our noise disturbing her, until I realised what an arsehole she was

Popc0rn · 15/02/2021 09:44

I did this with our noisy neighbour; left my phone playing heavy metal music full blast right by the wall to their bedroom at 5am, left it there and went off to work. Solved the problem of them being noisy fuckers much better than we politely mentioned it to them a few times. Though they've now moved (thank God!).

Boardeduplife · 15/02/2021 09:45

Definitely don’t do this. They will just be louder. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
We also have bell end neighbours, although ours aren’t noisy. You don’t want to get into noise wars with them as if you ever move, you have to declare any neighbour issues (although I’m not sure if this is only if you report any issues to the Police).
I certainly would t be taking parcels in for them. Moving house is risky. You could end up with worse. We live in a small detached house in a well established street of pensioners. The man on one side of us and what we thought were a lovely old couple moved in. Well what a pair of right old twats they turned out to be. Everyone on the street hates them. So it’s definitely not as simple as moving.

VettiyaIruken · 15/02/2021 09:49

What would be the point? You've knocked on the door more than once.
They know.
They just don't give a fuck

Needsmustnow · 15/02/2021 09:51

This does sound like normal living noise rather than anti-social music in the garden or late at night.

I think being on cordial terms with neighbours is priceless, so I'd invest in ear plugs for night time, and I'd make an effort to go around every time there's anything like a continuous problem after 10pm. No need to be aggressive, "I'm sorry to disturb you so late, it's just that I need to be up early and I'm finding it difficult to sleep with the TV on so loud in the bedroom".

FeelinSpendy · 15/02/2021 09:54

If the teenager is up until the wee hours then he’s probably not waking up early. I’d recommend setting my morning alarm on a loud setting and place it on the wall next to his room. He needs to learn the consideration works both ways.
My previous neighbour used to set his radio to come on at excruciating volume every morning. Never used to remember to turn it off when he went on holiday so it would blast on for an hour every morning. Wasn’t on purpose but drove me mad!

BlackCatShadow · 15/02/2021 10:13

@peak2021

As you have approached them and asked politely, perfectly reasonable to report to the Council.
I can't see that the council would be interested. It's just normal living noise. I think the OP needs to just get used to it.
GreenSlide · 15/02/2021 10:30

Sympathies OP. We moved in recently and I thought we would have to move out of the master bedroom because it turns out the man who lives next door sits up all night gaming and watching telly (which seemed to be attached to the adjoining wall, so very noisy!)
I didn't want to complain because it's not up to me to tell him how to live his life but I did shout 'please turn the tv off' at 4.30 one morning and he seems to have moved bedrooms himself now because there is much less noise.
Either that or he didn't enjoy the noise from my 3 year old in the mornings! I wouldn't leave the telly on all night but I would make loads of noise in the morning, particularly in the room beside where the teenager sleeps.

GirlInterruptedAgain · 15/02/2021 10:51

For a minute there I thought I was the noisy neighbour - until you mentioned asking them to quiet down. I’m the opposite- I WISH my
Kids would knock it off despite pleading begging and removing goods from them. I sometimes wish my neighbours WOULD knock then I could get my kids to see I’m not lying when I say they are really anti social
And selfish. Blush