to put my 18 month old to bed at 7pm?

[SomewhereOverTheRainybow]

I don’t think I’m BU, but friends and in laws all seem to think I’m putting my 18 month old to bed way too early The constant little comments are just getting irritating now.

Is this too early for an 18 month old or just about right?

My kid is down at 1900; we have a rock-solid daily routine. I want my evenings to myself, thanks - not to have my child up a moment longer than that, because he’s completely full on and I’m bloody exhausted.

Plus, he’s like a Duracell bunny and needs the sleep.

But those putting their kids down at 2000 or 2100 do what suits them - I personally would find that difficult.

7pm bedtime in this house for my DDs who are 23 months and nearly 7. Both of whom sleep 7-7 most nights.

8 o'clock is a very late night in this house and is a special treat!

6pm bedtime for the DCs here, reading allowed in bed and they are asleep before 6.30pm.

How does anyone working full time manage to get their kids to bed by 7pm? It’s sorcery!
By the time I’ve collected DS (19 months), got home, we’ve sorted dinner, chatted for a bit, read books etc, it’s easily 8pm.

It’s always been 8pm though, and he goes down no bother, sleeps through til 7ish, 3 hour nap middle of the day.
All kids and families need to find their own rhythm.

@Youseethethingis

How does anyone working full time manage to get their kids to bed by 7pm? It’s sorcery! By the time I’ve collected DS (19 months), got home, we’ve sorted dinner, chatted for a bit, read books etc, it’s easily 8pm. It’s always been 8pm though, and he goes down no bother, sleeps through til 7ish, 3 hour nap middle of the day. All kids and families need to find their own rhythm.

@Youseethethingis

I work full time and our night routine goes like this.

5pm collection,
5.15 small dinner (that I’ve made before)
5.45 bath
6pm bed for 1 year old
6-7pm play/read books with 3 year old.
7pm bed for 3 year old

@Youseethethingis one child undoubtedly makes things easier but:

1. 1730 Nanny finishes
2. 1800 bath
3. 1825 Moon & Me
4. 1845 teeth
5. 1850 stories
6. 1900 lights out

My 2 and 4 year olds go down at 7. We used to be 7 bath, half 7 bed but they're generally dropping by 7. They're up at 7 on nursery days and half seven-ish on weekends.

To the people who’ve said “I don’t understand the British obsession with bedtime” - I don’t understand the European obsession with keeping them up later. I also don’t particularly like it when I go round to friends for dinner (back in the days when we could) and their young children are still up for ages. I want that to be adult time where I can have a proper conversation - not diverted to attending to children.

Just wait until they are teenagers

There you go- different lives.
I officially finish at five, in reality I still need to finish whatever I’m doing,get logged off, earliest I’m leaving is at 5.15 to get DS and if I’m home by 6pm it’s a good night and I’m behind these schedules before I’ve even really started.
It would be different if he was wilting by 6pm and we could cut it all down if need be, but then we wouldn’t actually get to see DS during the week which would be rubbish. We like to potter about together, take our time having dinner together etc. Thankfully DS is a bit of a night owl or we’d be racing to get him down before he started to get cranky!

I couldn’t keep DS (2) awake past 5.30 this evening! When he was napping bedtime was between 7 and 8 but it’s earlier now. Sometimes we manage 6.30 but it’s usually 6ish. He gets up anywhere between 6.30 and 8.30.

As long as it’s working for you, stick with it!

My 16 month goes to bed 8pm/8.15 and sleeps through solid til 7ish on a nursery day, somes 7.30am at weekend. Has 2+hour nap in day around 1pm. Though at nursery it's sometimes 1.5 hours but she snoozes in car on way out if tired. We arent in til 6 so 7pm would no happen. Also dont fancy a 6am wake up at weekends

None of mine would sleep that early and tbh I’m not really a morning person so don’t fancy getting up at 6am

@Youseethethingis

How does anyone working full time manage to get their kids to bed by 7pm? It’s sorcery! By the time I’ve collected DS (19 months), got home, we’ve sorted dinner, chatted for a bit, read books etc, it’s easily 8pm. It’s always been 8pm though, and he goes down no bother, sleeps through til 7ish, 3 hour nap middle of the day. All kids and families need to find their own rhythm.

We do it with two kids:

5pm collect from nursery
5:15 - snack and a bit of playing (they have dinner at nursery)
5:45 - bath
6:15-7 - books and milk

Yes 7, or 6.30 even, for both of mine.
The 4 yo still goes at 7pm.

We would love to pick the kids up later but my older one just really needs the early bedtime so we have had to adjust and catch up on work in the evening if needed.

Ha! They'd hate me. My four and two year old both go to sleep between 6:30 and 7pm every night meaning they're in pyjamas and having their teeth brushed etc shortly after 6. And they sleep for 12 hours. They're tired then, they need a good night sleep especially the four year old since starting reception. Two year old still naps in the day too.

Plus, we get an evening! Bonus.

I'm sure bedtime will migrate a bit later as they age but for now I'm happy as are they. I couldn't give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks. They're probably jealous OP.

They're probably jealous OP
Not everyone who does things differently to you is jealous 🙄
Personally I’d be gutted if I had to put DS to bed at 6.30. Spending time with him after work is the best part of my day.
Absolutely right that it’s nobody else’s business, as long as everyone’s looked after and happy that’s all there is to it.
Can’t understand why anyone would see fit to stick their oar into someone else’s family life and pass judgment like the OP has experienced, it’s just odd.

Personally I’d be gutted if I had to put DS to bed at 6.30. Spending time with him after work is the best part of my day.

I expected to feel that way but my older kid is such a grouch if he's awake past 7pm that it's not quality time. Quality time at 6am is not my preference but it's what I get!

Haha that’s it isn’t it, you need to work with the kid you’ve got as best possible! If I tried to get my quality time at 6am DS would tell me to bolt (or the toddler equivalent)

Personally I’d be gutted if I had to put DS to bed at 6.30. Spending time with him after work is the best part of my day.

I get this, @Youseethethingis . I'm a sahm, so by the time 6:30 rolls around I'm more than ready to put mine to bed! My eldest has recently started school and I do miss her, we're really valuing our weekend time with her these days so I get where you're coming from .

In my friendship group, people commenting negatively would be them being jealous. I know this because 1) they have commented and I've said 'oh bugger off, you're only jealous' and they've laughed and agreed and 2) they're all stay at home parents or very part time.

As an aside I do sometimes wonder how it works if you're out all day but your child really needs an earlier bedtime especially once they're around school age. My old neighbours both worked and didn't get home until well past 7pm each night. They had two young children, nursery and young primary age and those children didn't go to bed before 9pm and it was usually later - i'd then hear them daily crying and screaming in the morning when they were woken at 6am and having to be carried out of the house in mornings usually going wild. Then if ours/us made any noise before 11am on a weekend day at all they'd moan because they used to say their children needed to sleep in. No shit; they need to go to bed at a reasonable hour!

@brunetteonthebus I had a similar upbringing. My parents worked full time 9-5 hours. By the time my Mum Collected me it was 5.45pm then a 10mi. walk to the bus stop, possible 15 min wait, 20 min bus journey, 10 mins from bus stop to home. So often home between 6.30-7pm. Then mum would start dinner and we’d eat at 7.30-8pm. I never got to bed before 9pm and I was knackered. I used to fake feeling ill at school to nap in the nurses office. It’s so tough if you’ve got a child who wants to sleep earlier.

We have the opposite as ours won’t sleep before 10pm and never have and are late sleepers in the morning regardless of what we do.

Not too early. Our 2 DDs at that age were in bed by 6pm. They were too tired and would risk getting overtired! I

Definitely not too early. Ours are anything between 7 and 8 (closer to 7 preferred!). If it's working for you don't be put off - evening adult time is precious, now more than ever!