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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Too tired for bf

99 replies

WonderingIf38 · 13/02/2021 10:33

I've been with bf for a few months now. Going really well and I enjoy being with him. He's a bit of a chatterbox sometimes and can be hyper occasionally, but all good.

I've just started back full time at work and I'm absolutely shattered come weekend to want to do anything but lay on the sofa...alone. He's really keen to spend every Saturday with me and is now pressing to spend every Sunday with me too which I'm reluctant to do as I'm so tired! I also enjoy my own company. Aibu?

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 13/02/2021 17:14

Each to their own, but it would drive me nuts to have a clingy partner who wanted me to spend every spare minute with him.Fortunately, my DH (who I have been with for YEARS,) was never like this

So how have you managed lockdown?

Sparklingbrook · 13/02/2021 17:15

@littlepattilou you keep saying 'clingy' Wanting to see someone all weekend does not equate to 'clingy' if you both feel the same it's just normal, new relationship behaviour.

Like @Bluntness100 I also spend all weekend with my husband (if not working) because that's sort of what you do. I must tell him he's being clingy and one of us should move out.

Bluntness100 · 13/02/2021 17:16

[quote Sparklingbrook]@littlepattilou you keep saying 'clingy' Wanting to see someone all weekend does not equate to 'clingy' if you both feel the same it's just normal, new relationship behaviour.

Like @Bluntness100 I also spend all weekend with my husband (if not working) because that's sort of what you do. I must tell him he's being clingy and one of us should move out.[/quote]
Me too, I’m about to tell him to sod off and watch the rugby elsewhere, 😂

ginandwineandbaileys · 13/02/2021 17:17

YANBU, it would make me absolutely batshit to not get any time to myself. At the moment I'm constantly looking for,ways to be away from my own children, never mind anyone else

Sparklingbrook · 13/02/2021 17:18

Actually thinking about it I spend all weekend and every evening with DH if I'm not working.

BibbityBobbety · 13/02/2021 17:18

It's pretty depressing if you're in a new-ish relationship, and feel too shattered to spend a weekend with your bf. If spending time with him already exhausts you, how will it be when you live together or it's been a few years? Relationships should relax you, and give you something to look forward to after a tough week. If you're feeling meh about it and he tired you out (and I assume you only see other 1-2 times a week), he isn't the one.

Sparklingbrook · 13/02/2021 17:20

YANBU, it would make me absolutely batshit to not get any time to myself

I would assume OP has free time in the week? It's only the weekends that seem to be an issue.

Bluntness100 · 13/02/2021 17:22

@ginandwineandbaileys

YANBU, it would make me absolutely batshit to not get any time to myself. At the moment I'm constantly looking for,ways to be away from my own children, never mind anyone else

I’d guess she has every weekday evening? Inc Friday night?

hammeringinmyhead · 13/02/2021 17:22

Honestly? He shouldn't be a chore you decude whether you want on your list this weekend or not. I'm the biggest introvert going, but DH doesn't count as another person in terms of being draining. He didn't when we were 19, working and going to uni.

littlepattilou · 13/02/2021 17:23

@Bluntness100

I can't imagine why anyone would want to spend ALL weekend with someone

Really? I spend all weekend with my husband. It’s fairly normal relationship behaviour.

sigh In the first few months of a relationship, ya know, like in the OP....

1Morewineplease · 13/02/2021 17:25

[quote Marinaloves]@littlepattilou
That’s such a ridiculous comparison

Spending the weekend with someone you’re falling in love with - or love already is not the same[/quote]
I agree.

littlepattilou · 13/02/2021 17:25

Like @Bluntness100 I also spend all weekend with my husband (if not working) because that's sort of what you do. I must tell him he's being clingy and one of us should move out.[/quote]
We will have to agree to differ. A newish boyfriend wanting to spend every waking minute with me is clingy needy behaviour IMO.

And as I said, I am not on about a husband/LTR situation. I am on about the situation which the OP was on about!!!

1Morewineplease · 13/02/2021 17:26

@littlepattilou

And don't even get me STARTED on the bloody ridiculous post saying if we LIKED a man, we would be prepared to give him sex, even if we are knackered and stressed and just want to rest and sleep.

Fucking hell, this place sometimes.

Have a glass of gin dear.

Sparklingbrook · 13/02/2021 17:26

Lol at 'sigh' ya know.

These new relationship rules are an education, I must ask DS1 (21) what the exact rules are now.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/02/2021 17:27

Surprised at some of these answers ! Seems quite normal to me to want weekend time alone, even if you are very into him.

Guess you just got the extroverts / those who like company at the top of the thread!

1Morewineplease · 13/02/2021 17:28

@Bluntness100

I also think you’re not that into him but want to be, the majority of adults work full time and are still able to see their partners or family on the weekend.

Listen to Blunty... she speaks sense.

littlepattilou · 13/02/2021 17:28

@ginandwineandbaileys

YANBU, it would make me absolutely batshit to not get any time to myself.

This. ^

Sparklingbrook · 13/02/2021 17:28

Oh blimey it's now not only clingy but 'needy' to want to see each other all the time when you start a relationship.

EmmanuelleMakro · 13/02/2021 17:28

I also thought this was a breastfeeding one as often fell asleep bf’ing and woke in a panic 😀

littlepattilou · 13/02/2021 17:28

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

Surprised at some of these answers ! Seems quite normal to me to want weekend time alone, even if you are very into him.

Guess you just got the extroverts / those who like company at the top of the thread!

Agree with this too. ^

Sparklingbrook · 13/02/2021 17:30

This thread is actually bonkers.

littlepattilou · 13/02/2021 17:30

@Sparklingbrook

Oh blimey it's now not only clingy but 'needy' to want to see each other all the time when you start a relationship.

Newsflash: Not everyone is going to agree on here.

Ponoka7 · 13/02/2021 17:30

Are you run down? How has your sex drive been in the past?

You need to work out if it's him that's too much, or you have to much on for a relationship. It sounds as though many posters on MN have edwardian courships, lots of letter writing, but hardly any action, until they are married, then everyone else is excluded.

littlepattilou · 13/02/2021 17:30

@Sparklingbrook

This thread is actually bonkers.

Translated.... 'some people are disagreeing me... I can't cope!'

hammeringinmyhead · 13/02/2021 17:32

So, 2 questions.

I enjoy being with him. When and how often?

And when he texts you, is your first reaction positive or "Oh, god, what now?" because if it's the latter this is deeead in the water.

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