Instagram influencers posting photos of their bounce back post partum bodies.

[Instagramselfie]

Fully expect to be told IABU.. But I will post anyway.
Is it unreasonable of me to think that Instagram influencers, celebs.. Are setting an unrealistic expectation of reality by posting photos of perfect post partum bodies within a matter of days or weeks of giving birth? I'm very much of the if you got it flaunt it brigade.. But I'll try and explain how it makes me feel personal.
A body that's given birth to a child is a body to be proud of.. There shouldn't be an aspiration to bounce straight back to size 8 skinny jeans and have a washboard stomach and you shouldn't feel bad about it either. Whilst that body is beautiful.. So is a body with a c section scar, with stretch marks, with cuts and bruises and with a deflated stomach that takes 6 months to fully go down..
Is it unreasonable to feel like this? Please don't mistake it for jealousy, it's not that at all.. It's just that looking at these photos of perfect women with perfect bodies who have just had babies.. It's not realistic.. Life isn't like that. If it was.. It would be wonderful and we'd all be sporting bikinis right now.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is that perfect body is no better than an imperfect body?..

I understand- that is their job though - influencers, people in the spotlight etc, if they’re not seen, they don’t get business, money etc. I mean - It’s unrealistic for most people yes, but I’m pretty sure these celebrities or influencers have ALOT of help to get back into shape, I feel quite bad for them, instead of enjoying motherhood, their first port of call is to look slim and post it on insta. I actually just saw one this evening - she looks great but, like you said, unrealistic and makes others feel like they’re doing something wrong when they don’t look the same.

You’re going to get so many posts here with posters saying they walked out of hospital in their size 6 jeans...

I would say unfortunately it’s nothing new, 10 years ago the same story was in celeb weeklys with minor famous people grinning in bikinis showing off their ‘post baby body’. It’s just in a different medium now.

This is yet another way to shame mothers.
I was back in my skinny jeans 2 weeks pp with both of my children, through a quirk of biology / genes.
The amount on women who were bitchy or felt entitled to comment / touch my stomach / acuse me of neglecting my tiny dc in order to work out or suchlike was astounding. Never in a million years would I dream of rubbing someones pp stomach and commenting on how big it was, yet society thinks it's acceptable to go the other way

Yeah have to agree with previous poster - either way can be seen as shaming

I’m currently 38 weeks pregnant - I’ve had friends say omg your still so tiny and slim, it’s not fair bla bla bla -skinny bitch, lucky etc - I’m just naturally small and skinny; all I have is my bump, rest of my body stayed the same ! It’s just how my body is - I haven’t done anything special
Every time someone mentions my weight or how small I am it makes me feel uncomfortable and I don’t like it.

Suppose after birth is the same some people bounce back quickly - some take longer! Both are fine and both should be able to be shared surely?

I was straight back into my normal jeans after I had DD1 - I wore them home from the Maternity Unit, just 12 hours after she was born - however, I was very overweight back then and my jeans were a size 22!

The only people I follow on Instagram are my friends and family. I have precisely zero interest in "influencers'" and celebrities' bodies, directly after childbirth or at any other time. I wouldn't wave photos of 'super slim, just birthed an 8lb baby, but already in my size 6 skinnies' women under the noses of any of my friends who had just had a baby, as it is quite likely to lead them to make unfavourable comparisons with their own bodies, which would be not only unhealthy, but possibly distressing for them. Therefore, why would I, if I had just had a baby, seek out such images to look at myself? It seems like a form of self harm, very damaging to one's mental health.

Social media is not compulsory

It's not just post partum.

It's everything. Filtered and changed and what not.

I'm more concerned about the effects of this on girls.

Why are you looking? Are you searching this topic and looking at pics?

Why?

My Instagram had flowers, amazing photos and tortoises that I was following.

I never got hot post partum bodies. Why are you?

Like I say I'm more worried about young girls having the idea that sex/ looks are all that matters. It's a real problem.

What gets me is that they’re always the lucky ones whose bodies go back. Mine is permanently damaged - it’ll never go back. I need a tummy tuck if I ever want to look anywhere near normal again.

Why is anyone looking?

And photos can and are changed a lot...

@Flickoffboris

This is yet another way to shame mothers. I was back in my skinny jeans 2 weeks pp with both of my children, through a quirk of biology / genes. The amount on women who were bitchy or felt entitled to comment / touch my stomach / acuse me of neglecting my tiny dc in order to work out or suchlike was astounding. Never in a million years would I dream of rubbing someones pp stomach and commenting on how big it was, yet society thinks it's acceptable to go the other way

100% agree. I was lucky enough to carry small, not get any stretch marks and be back to my usual shape within a week or so of giving birth. No effort, no exercise, no dieting. Sounds great in theory? But I actually felt like it was something to hide and was almost ashamed about it due to the way other women made me feel.

During pregnancy:
"you look too small" (baby was fine, but these comments didn't help when I was worried having been sent for multiple growth scans)

After pregnancy:
"I can't believe that's your baby, you can't have given birth only a couple of months ago" (definitely my baby, thanks, I'm pretty sure shape doesn't determine whether you can be a mother)
"just you wait, you look good now but I guarantee your figure will be ruined with number two" (spiteful comment, several jaws in the room dropped)
"you can't be eating enough, your breast milk won't be enough for baby" (eating fine, breastfeeding fine)

All of the above comments were from women at a time when you'd hope people would be at their most supportive to a new mother.

Why can't women just "be"? There's a range of post partum shapes and all should be celebrated. Some women spring back, some don't, some have injuries... all are valid situations. Nobody should feel ashamed of how their body turns out to be - you simply can't control what happens during pregnancy - it's mother nature!

Women are always wrong.

So stop comparing and enjoy what you have.

Sounds trite but it's true

Don’t follow them then if you don’t agree.

We should be encouraging people to be healthy and fit as it’s good for health. Being overweight isn’t healthy and many have lost sight of what a healthy weight is.

YABU they deserve zero publicity but obviously people are interested. They are irrelevant to me I don't read the tabloids and my Instagram is for travel, cats and watching Trevor Noah....so have no idea who they are.

I see what you're saying but it's just not the society we live in is it? I was so thrilled when I "got my body back" after 9 months of pregnancy reading about how it would never be the same, take months, etc etc. When I got those jeans on it was a huge sigh of relief and the first in a very long line of disproving the continual "just you wait" remarks which I got every day from the day I announced pregnancy through to the current day on mumsnet. No mum's experience is the same, nothing is inevitable. I think it's quite normal for a woman to be excited and happy when she has recovered be that the next day or year, I agree no pressure should be put on women to "bounce back" but considering the continual pressure and expectations in how we look, I don't think it's going to change any time soon, this is just one thing in a sea of expectations of women.

I’m not really interested in seeing anyone’s body at any point really. And no one is going to see mine! I get what you’re saying, it’s a bit desperate isn’t it. I stopped following Lily Allen recently as she kept filming herself in the lift mirror.

YANBU. Anyone who is (deliberately?) misunderstanding the fact that this is about the pressure women are under to achieve this even if it’s not what happens to them naturally is missing the point.
No one should be commenting on anyone’s postpartum body, but I’d hazard a guess that these influencers aren’t exactly feeling like they have a green card to nurture their bodies and just let them do their own thing.

@year5teacher it's a much wider problem than pregnancy though. Female bodies are owned by society, we are commented on from the moment our breasts start to form, heaven forbid they're too small or too big, through to how "well we age". The post partum body is just one stage in a long line that women will be critiqued on in their lifetime, my point? It's all shit and influencers will exasperate the problem as much as the celebrity boom of the noughties did but it's not going away any time soon. Sadly.

Although I havent seen any influencers showing post partum bodies, the follow button is voluntary.

It depends who you follow. I've never seen any of the photos you speak of, instead my feed (and the photos the algorithm suggests) is full of 'real' images showing the images your OP complains is lacking, as it's currently a trendy movement to show the whole world in the name of body positivity.
Also it's not unrealistic that a lot of women will snap back, it's hardly their fault if they do.

I always see them on my explore feed, you don't need to follow these women to end up seeing their content. You can hide them though!

I feel a bit sorry for them - under pressure to get back exercising a couple of weeks after a section, drinking shakes instead of eating biscuits, having to do an OK shoot in their gym kit 2 months PP. They only ever stand in certain positions so it's camera trickery too.

I was also back in my size 6 jeans after 4-5 weeks, thanks to sepsis. What an achievement.

Why anyone looks at ‘influencer’ shite of any kind I will never understand. Or ‘celebrity’ magazines. If people choose to waste their time on it they can hardly complain it makes them feel bad.

I fully believed I’d be one of those bounce back types. What a shock I had 13 years ago when it took months for my bump to go.

I was back in my normal jeans 11 days after birth. Just because it's not realistic for some people doesn't mean it's not realistic for others.

YABU. Stop being so bothered about what other people are doing. Be comfortable enough in yourself not to compare to others.

I think there's far less pressure nowadays in spite of instagram. When I had my first baby 30 odd years ago, getting your 'figure back' after having a baby was a very real thing and something that other women always commented on. Losing the excess baby weight as quickly as possible was seen as a very good thing.