Instagram influencers posting photos of their bounce back post partum bodies.

[Instagramselfie]

Fully expect to be told IABU.. But I will post anyway.
Is it unreasonable of me to think that Instagram influencers, celebs.. Are setting an unrealistic expectation of reality by posting photos of perfect post partum bodies within a matter of days or weeks of giving birth? I'm very much of the if you got it flaunt it brigade.. But I'll try and explain how it makes me feel personal.
A body that's given birth to a child is a body to be proud of.. There shouldn't be an aspiration to bounce straight back to size 8 skinny jeans and have a washboard stomach and you shouldn't feel bad about it either. Whilst that body is beautiful.. So is a body with a c section scar, with stretch marks, with cuts and bruises and with a deflated stomach that takes 6 months to fully go down..
Is it unreasonable to feel like this? Please don't mistake it for jealousy, it's not that at all.. It's just that looking at these photos of perfect women with perfect bodies who have just had babies.. It's not realistic.. Life isn't like that. If it was.. It would be wonderful and we'd all be sporting bikinis right now.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is that perfect body is no better than an imperfect body?..

@5128gap
My meaning was more so why should anyone be shamed after giving birth. As it happens I have been criticised for not taking weeks to lose the weight, after all pregnancies. And shamed for going for a walk the day after giving birth. The shaking goes both ways when there shouldn't be any judgement at all

I agree that the media should present a realistic view of mothers and their bodies after birth. With my 2nd every part of me seemed to swell in pregnancy and it took a good 3 months to get back to normal. I was exhausted for first few months due to having a 20mth gap between Dc1and DC2.

With DC1 and DC3 I barely put on any weight in pregnancy and could fit straight back into pre pregnancy clothes. I think some bodies just luckily react to giving birth quicker than others but women should be encouraged to love their body after giving birth because it has done an amazing job!

@Moomin12345

No one seems to go mind the new brand of influences who flaunt being very overweight and unhealthy because they're "brave enough" to post semipornographic selfies every day. The constant stream of nude selfies is just sad and desperate regardless of one's body shape tho . There's a whole genre of instagrammers giving themselves a wedgie with their tiny knickers to make their hips to waist ratio look slimmer and more feminine

👏🏼

Some people are just lucky though. If you were a size 8 before pregnancy and put on two you would still be slimmer than I have started off in my current pregnancy. I look at social media but I am wise enough to know that I didn't have Kate Ferdinand's figure before I fell pregnant with this baby so I will not have it after. It will be a hard slog for me to lose any weight I put on in pregnancy plus the extra 4 stone I need to lose to get back to my weight pre kids. I may never be 7 and a half stone again. Fair enough but I would like to be healthy and that is all down to me.

I am on a birth club with women due in the same month as me and many people are very early on and have posted pictures of their tummy bloat with otherwise slim bodies, many of those women will get back into their pre pregnancy jeans well before I will. I don't see the point of jealousy or envy as I am on my own path.

It is sad to put those women down, they have given birth so to say that their body isn't representative of a new mothers isn't correct, some women are slim, exercise and eat well. Just because their figures in no way shape or form resembles mine pre or post pregnancy doesn't invalidate their experience.

I gained the weight of the baby and fluid plus 6lb. Two weeks after giving birth everything had gone except the 6lb. But the bones of my hips and ribs had widened so my clothes will never fit again. And despite only gaining 6lb my stomach was stretched to the point where I’ll need plastic surgery to look normal again. I only gained 6lb, I don’t see what more I could have done.

I do think a lot depends on what your own body shape/weight is before you are pregnant. Obviously due to some things lots of weight can and is natural to put on, however some don't.

I was a size eight before I was pregnant with my oldest and was wearing size eight maternity throughout and left hospital still a size eight.

Then with my son I was very "chunky" as weight had piled on me before I was pregnant due to not being active etc etc so I was large all the way through and same afterwards.

I do feel that slim mums do get a bit of a hard time due to being naturally slim. Everyone's bodies are all wonderfully different and nothing to be ashamed about. The same as I feel some larger mums tend to get a hard time also.

I don't think any new mother should be shamed for what her body looks like. After just having a baby, which is an amazing thing, nobody deserves that at all.

I do find it sad that so many women feel so under pressure to get back to pre pregnancy shape especially so quick despite the fact that the body has been through so much. But that is society for you.

On a more positive note... when shopping for underwear lately, I've noticed stretch marks on the models. They all look gorgeous and I'd still love to be them, but they don't have the little imperfections brushed out. It does help me feel better about myself to know that the beautiful people are only human too!

Maybe start following a more balanced group of people? It doesn't bother me as it's something to aspire to but I also follow plenty of other people who haven't bounced back and keep it very real!

I think you need to work on your self esteem, why should you be shamed because someone is better than you at something whether by luck or hard work.
My friend has just posted a picture of an amazing cake she baked and iced. Now I can cook a nice cake but I’m crap at icing. But it doesn’t ‘shame me’. I can either just enjoy delicious cake and not ice it, practice for hours and hours like she did to improve or ask her to do it.

It is sad to put those women down, they have given birth so to say that their body isn't representative of a new mothers isn't correct, some women are slim, exercise and eat well. Just because their figures in no way shape or form resembles mine pre or post pregnancy doesn't invalidate their experience.

Agree. This is no different than saying “real women have curves” making it out as if you don’t have curves you’re not a real woman where in this case if your body bounces back quicker after pregnancy your body isn’t normal.

Also, it’s not always luck. Many work hard to stay healthy and continue that through pregnancy so they will usually bounce back quicker than some.

My first pregnancy I went up 1.5 sizes. My second I didn’t go up at all. I just used a hair tie on my jeans to keep them buttoned. Gained 25 pounds with my first and was back to my pre-pregnancy weight in a few weeks. Second time around gained 17 and was my pre-pregnancy weight after 36 hours. Difference between my first and second was I ate better, exercised more, and was more calm with my second than my first.

I still recall the disappointment that I didn’t get bigger from my mother. Overheard her complaining to my aunt that I was still slender after both pregnancies where she gained weight that she never was able to lose. She was hoping it was a genetics thing but was greatly mistaken, ignoring our completely different lifestyles and eating habits.