To get an inflatable sex pond?

[ThatchersCold]

Yay or nay? I’m revamping my very small back garden and the kids really want one (they’re asking for a hot tub, not a sex pond, but I know that’s what they’re commonly referred to on here ). It would have to be an inflatable rather than proper one as there’s no access to the back other than through the house, and also I’m not rich. I have a much larger front garden so it wouldn’t be leaving us without outdoor space.

The idea kind of appeals to me too but I thought I’d put this idea over to the room of very honest mumsnetters who will tell me if it’s a bad idea.

Do you have one? Do you actually use it?

Are running costs crazy?

Are they noisy and likely to piss my neighbour’s off?

Yes they're noisy, yes they're expensive. You have to check the PH levels every day and add chemicals to maintain it at the right level. We bought a good one last year with jets as well as bubbles. The bubbles are far too noisy (you can't have a conversation without shouting) so we only use the jets, which are fine.

Ignore anybody on here who says they're common. I really like ours, but DH does the maintenance so I don't have to bother with that.

My in-laws had one with water chemicals that didn’t irritate my skin. We bought a similar model but unbeknownst to us used a different kind of chemical that did and to use any other chemical voided the warranty! And to be honest it was a pita to use in the winter...couldn’t get motivated to get into a swimsuit with snow coming down!

Ive been looking for one and all sold out! Everyone has the same idea in lockdown

If you aren't going to be anal about cleaning it, it will be gross. For me it would be a no just because of that.

Your neighbours might be annoyed due to the noise of the pump and also your squeals of delight, plus the splashing noise.

We have one and just use it as a glorified splash pool. We don't turn on the bubbles much as they are noisy and the very opposite of calming IMO. But having a 'heated pool' to relax in when it's hot is blissful and worth every penny. It's just the right size to sit in with my kindle and last summer I genuinely felt like I was on holiday.

Love ours, use it most nights, even in the winter. You don’t have to have the jets on all the time; it’s just lovely to stretch out in 40 degree water. We have a lay z spa and change and wash the filter regularly, and water is crystal clear. 90% of MN of users get terribly snooty about them, so you likely to get a skewed view point. You’re better off reading reviews on stockists websites if you want a fair evaluation. Argos have some right now. Ours costs about £5-6 a week to keep it constantly at 40 deg.

Unless ur garden is secluded and a distance from your neighbours I wouldn’t bother. My extremely noisy and irritating neighbours one. It is very noisy when it’s on. I’ve rarely seen them clean it and we live in terraced houses so the full street can see them lolling around in there from their windows. Very odd !

Frogs - that's what you need.

inflatable sex pond

I have never heard this before. Excellent.

I’ve never heard them called “Sex Ponds”. How strange.

If you do it properly they are expensive to run and hard work to keep cleaning. If your garden isnt big enough they are noisy and annoy neighbours.

If you do it like my friends ex neighbours then you buy it second hand, the lights are buggered within a week, you clean it once in 7 months so your neighbours can smell it (and hear you say how green the water is and there is dog poo in it), only buy chemicals once so they run out, let all and sundry use in during lockdown and shout over the noise and the music which annoys the whole street. But cheap to run ...

Urgh - you have to add chemicals to keep the water 'clean'... isn't that the worst of both worlds? Diluted body fluids + dilute domestos? My next door neighbour has one and my garden stinks of the stuff.

I'm bemused by the hate for the chemicals tbh. It's just chemistry. We still have the same water in from the summer and it's not green or murky. Not does it have anything floating in it. It's crystal clear.

We have dip sticks which tell us if the water is at the correct pH and if we need to add any chemicals. And there are chlorine tablets in the filter. I don't remember it being onerous or difficult or needing to clean anything.

@Penistoe

inflatable sex pond

I have never heard this before. Excellent.

We call our neighbours the sex swamp

I’d love one but DH is not keen. The thought of being in a nice warm pool under the stars in a quiet environment would be absolute bliss, particularly with a glass of chilled white wine......I can dream though.....

@Silvercatowner

Urgh - you have to add chemicals to keep the water 'clean'... isn't that the worst of both worlds? Diluted body fluids + dilute domestos? My next door neighbour has one and my garden stinks of the stuff.

I take it you never use public swimming pools, or hotel pools then? With them, you have the added bonus of hundred of kids pissing in the pool, and toddler/baby swim nappies leaking shit for you to bask in.

Following.

We’ve got one. It’s quite fun and the kids love it.
The bubbles are very loud though so we don’t have them on for long.
It doesn’t take much more water than a couple of big baths so if we just want it on for one night and can’t be bothered to faff with the chemicals we just empty it the next day and forgo a couple of baths to mitigate the water waste.
If you can spare a few hundred quid it’s worth a go

Inflatables are no good with pets :( can get other makes that are also removable/portable though eg Canadian spa- 8 foam sections and liners. Used ours, no bubbles even with snow on the ground.

I wouldn’t if I could be seen or heard by my neighbours, but I’d love one. We had one in a cottage we rented last year and it was glorious. The sex was amazing too. Only trouble was it completely stripped my legs of fake tan.

Yanbu.
We're looking at hiring one if our easter break gets cancelled.

We had one - kids loved it - I hated it - the cleaning (teenage girls covered on body lotion + hair) ewww - plus you are not meant to have them up at low temps so Oct-April they are down and in the shed - anyway our cat punctured the fucker

I got a new one the next year - half inflated it - remembered the ball ache involved and slammed it on Ebay

Kids quiet happy with a cheap paddling pool - I wouldn;t have another one

We got one last summer and love it.
I was worried about it being noisy but it's quiet, the jets are louder but not too bad. You do need to keep a regular eye on the chemical levels but it's no hassle really.
I love in the summer evenings chilling with a glass of wine and our teenage kids loved it too. Running costs were about £20 a month but with spending so much time at home it's worth it. Can't wait to get ours out again! Go for it

I have a real chavvy proper one it’s got a tv built in 😂 which is wired up to the tv in the house and a ice maker bar . We have had it a few years now
It’s a pain in the ass to maintain so I leave that to my husband
We had to crane ours in as limited access
We use it more in the winter than the summer
It’s lovely when it’s freezing cold and the water is nice and hot
Neighbours haven’t ever complained and I’m sure they would mention it if it annoyed them as we get on fine with them