To get an inflatable sex pond?

[ThatchersCold]

Yay or nay? I’m revamping my very small back garden and the kids really want one (they’re asking for a hot tub, not a sex pond, but I know that’s what they’re commonly referred to on here ). It would have to be an inflatable rather than proper one as there’s no access to the back other than through the house, and also I’m not rich. I have a much larger front garden so it wouldn’t be leaving us without outdoor space.

The idea kind of appeals to me too but I thought I’d put this idea over to the room of very honest mumsnetters who will tell me if it’s a bad idea.

Do you have one? Do you actually use it?

Are running costs crazy?

Are they noisy and likely to piss my neighbour’s off?

We've had one for years and use it so much thy DH and I have now opted to buy a proper one!

I love the noise, I find it relaxing. Drowns out arguing kids perfectly.

We have one (has not been used as a sex pond!) it is expensive to beat. However I found chemical maintenance very easy and it was lovely to use on weekends. We haven't used it through winter as it would cost a fortune. If you get a hot water tap it would be much more affordable.

I take it you never use public swimming pools, or hotel pools then? With them, you have the added bonus of hundred of kids pissing in the pool, and toddler/baby swim nappies leaking shit for you to bask in.

Yep. Equally horrible when you think about it. Another reason never to go swimming!

Ours we dose it regularly when it's up. It has a floating holder to keep chlorinated, we check that almost daily. Keeping it clean isn't too hard when we are strict with the kids about rinsing off first, not walking across cut grass to get in etc. It's quieter than my neighbours chain saw and circular saw (weekly, no idea why). I love it in chilly weather it also keeps my dodgy knee just about functional to get in it super hot when it flares up. It has also been great in lockdown to let the smaller child swim and run round and round until tired as he misses pools.

Do it! I got an inflatable one last year, I turn it off on the week and put it on Friday morning ready for the weekend. I don't have the bubbles on very much, I just lie in it and look at the day or night sky. Mine is a 3 person Laz-e-spa small one. Wish I'd got one ages ago and can't wait until Easter when I'm getting it out again! Great after a long bike ride (or any exercise) too!

Thanks all! Mostly rave reviews it would seem, maybe I will indulge the kids after all

Go for it. They're not that noisy! You won't have the bubbles on constantly.

You need an outdoor plug and maintain it daily. It's easy to do, you can box it off while the kettle boils in the morning

If you get a lay z spa, make sure you register it with them to get guarantee. We have had hot tubs from them for over 18 years (on our fourth!) Any problems they are very quick to resolve. You just need to test water regularly (takes 10 seconds, dipping a stick in the water) get a chemical starter pack from Argos, £30. We buy the chlorine tabs on eBay/Amazon. £20 a tub, lasts 3-4 months, a floater is included, just drop the tabs in and it dispenses them gradually.

I agree with registering it in the first month as our pump just broke after 18 months (we have one of the ones with a freeze shield pump) and they have replaced it no problem

We love ours, a heater element went and we had to wait a whole 3 days for a replacement part 😩

We do out chemicals every Friday in a dispenser, simples. Shower before we use it and scrub down with no soap or anything and then you have no skin cells or dirt or hardly anything. Our water stays crystal clear for months

Hot tub sex is the best though

Ours is an mspa, like a lazy spa but all the gubbins is inside it not an additional unit

@Gubanc

I love the noise, I find it relaxing. Drowns out arguing kids perfectly.

I missed the word 'out' on first reading

OP don’t they just screech rough to me. Honestly I’m no snob but they’re hideous. Family soup 🤢

@Thewiseoneincognito

OP don’t they just screech rough to me. Honestly I’m no snob but they’re hideous. Family soup 🤢

That's why people need to pre shower

A 3 second scratch releases a crisp packet full of skin cells. Imagine how many come off in a hot tub when they are wet and warm.

Shower beforehand is a must!

"A 3 second scratch releases a crisp packet full of skin cells. Imagine how many come off in a hot tub when they are wet and warm."

That seems unlikely, you'd have no skin left!

No it's true, skin cells are teeny though remember but we do have a joke if it's a 6 second scratch it's a 'grab bag' packet full 😂

In the hot tub they look like dust on the bottom, a bit like sand

Sorry, but it's really not!

Nice hot Bath instead?

A human body's had at least 30 billion skin cells. Your not going to notice a crisp packet full. Also how often do you scratch?

"Though you can't see it happening, every minute of the day we lose about 30,000 to 40,000 dead skin cells off the surface of our skin"

I've just scratched my hand for 3 seconds over my desk, no crisp packet full of dead skin cells, in fact no visible skin cells at all.

You don't see them, they are teeny, but you've lost 180,000 since your post 6 mins ago and not known

If there was enough to fill a crisp packet you would be able to see them.

I could scratch my hand inside a bag and it would fill up to the top with skin cells really quickly.

Just think about it.

Sorry for a bit of a derail OP. I'm close to being convinced a sex pond is a good idea though.