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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sense of guilt.. should I have covid vaccination?

64 replies

Username12353784 · 11/02/2021 09:47

Hi all, I’m 30 and a mother of 2. My oldest is 10 and autistic. He has an EHC plan, gets DLA and I receive Carers allowance for him. I keep reading that unpaid Carers are in line to get the vaccine in group 6.

Should I?

I’m young and healthy but my biggest worry is what if something happens to me. I have a dp who is not ds’s dad. He is a great stepfather but has no legal rights if something happened to me. DS does not see much of his dad!

I’ve done an e-consult to query the above and register as a carer and they’ve got back to me and asked for me to provide evidence then I can be listed as a carer. The woman I spoke to was fab.

Anyway, I do feel guilty. I know by the time it comes around the most vulnerable will be vaccinated but I’ll be having it before my parents and in laws who are late 50’s and early 60’s and I’m sure they will have something to say about it!

Aibu to just have it? Surely the only way out of this mess is for everyone who can get it does get it as soon as they can! (if they want to of course).

Is anyone else having it for similar reasons?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 11/02/2021 09:48

Yeah it sounds like you qualify so you should have it. We’ve all got to have it at some point
No need to tell people if you think they’ll be difficult about it

OrigamiOwl · 11/02/2021 09:49

YANBU to have it. You are a carer.
It isn't your parents or in-laws business. Just don't tell them if you're worried about their reaction.

Cloudsurfing · 11/02/2021 09:51

Yes have it. All adults are being offered the vaccine by autumn anyway so it’s not like you would never be eligible. Better for everyone who can have it sooner to get it.

Onceuponawish · 11/02/2021 09:52

I will be in this group for the same reason, I've decided to accept because if I did become to poorly I wouldn't be able to do my caring duties and the person I care for would need extensive professional help which would put more strain on the NHS.

tisonlymeagain · 11/02/2021 09:52

As I understand it, the Government changed it last month so that if you receive Carers Allowance you are included in Group 6, so absolutely have it. You're entitled to it, don't feel guilty. Pretty sure the NHS workers who are working solely from home but have had it aren't feeling guilty...

Sillyduckseverywhere · 11/02/2021 09:53

You're no good if you're sick.
Take it.

MsMarch · 11/02/2021 09:54

Of course you should have it. You have no reason to feel guilty as you are not gaming the system. You are in the category of people who are due to have it. So have it. Because:

  1. You may be low risk, but your illness is very high risk. If I get sick, Dh and the DC will cope. In your situation, that is not necessarily the case.
  1. Ultimately the order of who gets it doesn't matter because everyone who gets the vaccine is doing their bit for overall health of the country.
Dontsayfuckorbugger · 11/02/2021 09:54

Yes have it as soon as possible.

PurpleDaisies · 11/02/2021 09:54

If you qualify, you’ve got absolutely nothing to feel bad about.

Aprilx · 11/02/2021 09:55

I think it is a bit selfish at this stage when you clearly are very low risk.

Esssa · 11/02/2021 09:55

My SIL is on maternity leave from the NHS and she's had the jab as a frontline NHS worker. If you want it, take it, don't tell anyone who will be awkward about it, don't feel guilty.

Bluesername · 11/02/2021 09:57

If you're eligible then have it.

smoothchange · 11/02/2021 09:58

Guilt is a wasted emotion!

The decision on which group to place people in has been long and carefully considered, using medical and scientific evidence. It's not up to is to then try and work out whether that is correct or not. Just go when it's your turn.

PurpleDaisies · 11/02/2021 09:58

@Aprilx

I think it is a bit selfish at this stage when you clearly are very low risk.
Even though she meets the criteria for an unpaid carer?

If you’ve got a problem, take it up with the JCVI.

smoothchange · 11/02/2021 09:59

@Aprilx

I think it is a bit selfish at this stage when you clearly are very low risk.

You have got to be joking Hmm

MatildaTheCat · 11/02/2021 10:01

My DH and I were offered the vaccine due to ‘frontline volunteering’ doing some food bank drops and shopping each week. I felt that a supermarket worker would have deserved it more but if I’d declined they wouldn’t have been offered it instead so we took it gladly.

I’m more your parents’ age but still felt a bit bad. Have the vaccine, your name hasn’t been pulled out of a hat, it’s not a reward either, it’s been chosen for carefully calculated risk reasons.

Original poster
Username12353784 · 11/02/2021 10:11

Thanks all. Have made feel a little better!

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 11/02/2021 10:15

If you meet the criteria then you meet the criteria.

Someone I know has had theirs a group or 2 early because the volunteering they do supports the NHS and social care. Without volunteers and unpaid carers many vulnerable people would be in a worse situation.

I don't believe for one second that the people on these sorts of threads saying eligible people are selfish for having the vaccine would be turning it down when it gets to their group on the grounds of 'I'm not selfish so give it to someone else' .

Sillyduckseverywhere · 11/02/2021 10:15

@Aprilx

I think it is a bit selfish at this stage when you clearly are very low risk.
Pathetic comment. Hmm
bengalcat · 11/02/2021 10:20

No need to feel guilty . If you're offered it , take it , and perhaps avoid telling anybody who may judge you adversely for it .

ChazP · 11/02/2021 10:24

Have the vaccination. Both my partner and I have recently had covid. I was lucky and had very few symptoms. My entirely healthy, 40yr old partner got it much worse and there was a 48 hour period when I was really worried. Plus I was having to look after our 2 kids, him and carry on working. It nearly broke me...and that’s with 2 NT kids who could help take up the slack. You do not want this virus. Your kids definitely don’t want you to get it. We’re all going to be vaccinated at some point. Take the earliest slot offered to you and do no feel guilty at all.

Tiredmum100 · 11/02/2021 10:31

You need it, if you get sick who cares for your child? I feel the same. I've had it as I'm a nurse, however my dad is far more clinically vulnerable than I am. However if it I got covid I'd be off work and obviously it's far more beneficial for me to be in work, as it is for you to be able to care for your child. Don't feel guilty.

ToffeePennie · 11/02/2021 10:35

I work in private health care, dealing with the feet.
I phoned and got my jab as soon as they were available in my area. Anyone who doesn’t when they can (ie they just choose not to, not that they can’t for a sensible medical reason) is selfish

sunflowertulip · 11/02/2021 10:38

I don't personally agree with the priority order, but I'm not an expert and would definitely have it as soon as available to me. Don't feel guilty, more people vaccinated the better.

CecilyP · 11/02/2021 10:45

Have it! It makes it simpler all round. The admin required to sort out which carers are the most suitable outweighs any benefits to leaving those with less need till later. Just make your appointment as soon as you are called and don’t give it another thought.

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