Sense of guilt.. should I have covid vaccination?

[Username12353784]

Hi all, I’m 30 and a mother of 2. My oldest is 10 and autistic. He has an EHC plan, gets DLA and I receive Carers allowance for him. I keep reading that unpaid Carers are in line to get the vaccine in group 6.

Should I?

I’m young and healthy but my biggest worry is what if something happens to me. I have a dp who is not ds’s dad. He is a great stepfather but has no legal rights if something happened to me. DS does not see much of his dad!

I’ve done an e-consult to query the above and register as a carer and they’ve got back to me and asked for me to provide evidence then I can be listed as a carer. The woman I spoke to was fab.

Anyway, I do feel guilty. I know by the time it comes around the most vulnerable will be vaccinated but I’ll be having it before my parents and in laws who are late 50’s and early 60’s and I’m sure they will have something to say about it!

Aibu to just have it? Surely the only way out of this mess is for everyone who can get it does get it as soon as they can! (if they want to of course).

Is anyone else having it for similar reasons?

Of course you should take it when it's offered to you. You have nothing to feel guilty for. You are doing the right thing for your son and it benefits the rest of us too.

Shame on the poster who said you were selfish. How dare you @Aprilx. The op won't be queue jumping or doing anything wrong. You know nothing of her situation and to even type the selfish word is a disgrace on your behalf. You're the selfish one .... Throwing your two bit in just because you feel like it without stopping to think the op is a real life person, with huge real life caring responsibilities. Did you miss the bit where if anything happens to the op there is no one to look after her son!

There are threads on MN condemning people who qualify for not taking the vaccine.
On this thread we have @Aprilx condemning someone who qualifies for getting the vaccine. Fs mad

You should have it. Your children depend on you being well and able to care from them. The consequences if you get ill could be really horrendous for them, for you and for the health and care system.

I'm NHS, working from home, and have had my first dose. What most people don't realise is that without the back office systems working full tilt, the front line can't work effectively either. If you break part of the machine, the whole machine stops working - no matter how well serviced the rest of it is. Your family is like that too.

If you can have the vaccine, then you should take it. I don't think it needed to be an AIBU topic.

Vaccine hesitancy (outside of health reasons) has become a pet peeve of mine.

I wish people would stop angsting over this. There is no completely perfect order of vaccination, but independent people have thought about it and decided on a course of action which they think will work. It’s ok just to accept that without guilt.

there are bound to be vagaries in the prioritisation, but if you are eligible, have it as soon as you can.
The speed with which the vac. program is being rolled out, it will get to your parents soon enough.
Risks from covid are probably greater than any miniscule risk from the vaccine.

Take it! You’re entitled to it and you’re not jumping any queues or taking it from anyone else. My DS is on high rate DLA for severe learning disabilities. I get carers allowance. I had my vaccine last night. I’m 33 and relatively healthy, no underlying conditions. I understand the guilt, I felt it too. The thing is, if I caught Covid and was severely ill I don’t have anyone that could step up to take care of my disabled child. I have a DH but he is the sole earner. If I got very ill, or worse, it would have devastating consequences for my family. There is a very good reason why people like us are in priority group 6. We need to stay well for the people we care for. Please, get the vaccine.

@CocoMelon21

Take it! You’re entitled to it and you’re not jumping any queues or taking it from anyone else. My DS is on high rate DLA for severe learning disabilities. I get carers allowance. I had my vaccine last night. I’m 33 and relatively healthy, no underlying conditions. I understand the guilt, I felt it too. The thing is, if I caught Covid and was severely ill I don’t have anyone that could step up to take care of my disabled child. I have a DH but he is the sole earner. If I got very ill, or worse, it would have devastating consequences for my family. There is a very good reason why people like us are in priority group 6. We need to stay well for the people we care for. Please, get the vaccine.

Thank you! I don’t think they are anywhere near the phase in this area yet. Still working through elderly and the CEV. I can relate. Dp is a fantastic stepdad and treats DS as his own and we have dc together but he has no legal rights if something happens to me. He is also the sole earner. So I can relate! 🌸

There is a very good reason why people like us are in priority group 6. We need to stay well for the people we care for. Please, get the vaccine.
Well said. I'm not a carer, but have taught young carers and known parents who are carers. Society relies on there being an army of carers. The vaccine prioritisation accounts for this.

The people saying carers should take the vaccine/if they do they are selfish won't be volunteering their services to step in should carers become unwell.

@Aprilx

I think it is a bit selfish at this stage when you clearly are very low risk.

It is not about risk to the OP. The priority list was drawn up to prevent deaths in vulnerable groups but also to keep health and social care going.

“The Joint Committee on Vaccination and Immunisation (JCVI) advises that the first priorities for the current COVID-19 vaccination programme should be the prevention of COVID-19 mortality and the protection of health and social care staff and systems.”

The reason carers are vaccinated is not to protect them but to protect the care they provide. If a carer is unwell and unable to care for the person they care for it will cost a lot more to the government than the £67 a week carers allowance to provide that care. It is also harder to source specialist care. If carers all fall ill together there will be a huge extra demand placed on government services. It is far better to provide a vaccine that costs a few pounds and protect the social care services being overwhelmed.

Take it!
I'm a personal assistant for young adults with severe learning difficulties.
I was offered it before my parents in their seventies.
You have been offered it for a reason.
Don't feel guilty.

Definitely have it if it's possible. Don't feel guilty at all

I'm being vaccinated tomorrow (self employed) because I see clients face to face.

I don't think that guilt is helpful - people that are front line who are caring for others do need to be vaccinated

Take it, you’re protecting your child.

Absolutely take it, this group are included for a reason. Don't downplay your importance. It's to protect the care you are providing your child.

I'm a nurse (with an ASN child) and have already had mine due to my job.

Absolutely get the vaccine. It's going to create more admin if people don't get it when it's available for their group.

Your DP would be recognised in law as your Son's stepfather. You don't have to be married. Whilst your parents or siblings could challenge it, the Court would only split up a family with siblings if your DP couldn't manage his care needs.

OP I'm a vaccinator, listen to me and everyone else here. You deserve the vaccine, everyone in the entire world deserves the vaccine. The NHS is even based on the idea of equal care for all (this doesn't mean the same care, it's all relative.) Do not feel guilty when you are offered it, everything is worked out on relative risk.

Side note: do double check in your local area as we have been vaccinating carers and household family members of those who are CEV for a couple of weeks now.

Yes you should.

I haven't actually read your OP. Because unless you are saying you have a severe and specific allergy the answer is just yes.

Offered a vaccine = take a vaccine (unless you have a valid health reason not to and the risks outweigh the benefits).

I’ve had it for similar reasons. I also felt a bit guilty but I was offered it and it would have felt wrong not to take it. I’m not advertising the fact I’ve had it- it’s nobody else’s business. Take it. The more people vaccinated, the better.

Thanks all for your reassurance. The lady who rang me from the doctors was wonderful (I didn’t ring myself first, I did an e-consult and they rang me). She didn’t ask any questions etc. Just asked for proof of Carers allowance entitlement. Sent them to her and she’s registered me a carer for when they get that far down the list here. Still got a little while to go! 😀

I’m so glad you feel reassured! Hopefully you won’t have to wait too long, they’re moving along quite quickly 💐

How do they work this out as my son has autism and gets middle rate DLA low rate mobility but I'm not eligible for carers allowance as I work and earn above the £125 a week or whatever it is. They surely can't just let carers who don't work get it? Would anyone know? YANBU OP get it x

They’re on with the over 65s now so I’m sure your parents won’t be long.

Absolutely have it when you are offered it!

Have the vaccination for your DS. He’s more important than anyone else’s opinion.

@MissMarpleDarling

How do they work this out as my son has autism and gets middle rate DLA low rate mobility but I'm not eligible for carers allowance as I work and earn above the £125 a week or whatever it is. They surely can't just let carers who don't work get it? Would anyone know? YANBU OP get it x

You have to be registered as a carer with your GP. Most have a form on their website to register or you can send an email with your details and the details of the person you card for so they can link you to them as their carer.